bored bored and boring

Boss is gone.

Sky is raining.

I am poor.

Nowhere to go.

Everything is boring.

Hell, why did I even get dressed today?

Ain't no party like a theatre people party...

You know you're at a good party when:

-You are drinking Grey Goose that you didn't pay for out of a red plastic cup without a mixer
-People start jamming on an accordian
-A Lab actor serenades you on guitar with a personalized song about dinosaurs
-The sound engineer gives you a "crack vial" as a little gift for you to keep
-You dance on a table to David Bowie - and it's a slow song (this should really happen at any party)
-You start a Waiting For Guffman quoting war with the wardrobe guy
-You are able to keep refilling said plastic cup without the drunken purchaser ever noticing
-Straight girls start making out with each other

OK, maybe not that last one. That's actually a good indicator of when it's time to leave.

Aaaand scene.

I'm falling apart arrrgraraarghhhhh

My filling fell out yesterday for NO GOOD REASON. Was I eating something outrageously chewy and sticky like a month-old Starburst? No. Was I trying to open beer bottles with my molars? No. Was I prying at it with pieces of abrasive metal? Hell no. It just fell out. Like that. Well....I actually don't know what it was like because I didn't really witness it happen. I just suddenly felt a weird gaping part in the side of my tooth where a little silver thing used to be. I was tempted to ignore it and pretend it never happened, but I can't be in denial for too long.

And the worst part is that, being an uninsured poor intern-on-a-stipend-pay, it's going to cost $94 JUST for the exam. Who knows what the new filling itself would cost. Probably $838,038,328. Yeah. This sucks.

Bring on the comments

OK people, I've decided to be generous and open up my comments box to all who feel like leaving me comments. Because I am lonely without comments. But I also hate spammers, so I hope I've set it up properly to keep them away. Spammers, be gone!!

In other news, I am quietly seething while my dad is hijacking the TV in the other room. I was all ready to finish watching Malcolm X (yeah...I fell asleep before finishing it last night...it's frickin' long, OK??), but before I could get there he decides to watch some PBS thing full of violins and opera singers. I'm all for PBS, and even some singing, but this is damn boring. Give me my Spike Lee.

This is why I can't wait for my job to start. I can't wait to be independent again. But....who knows if I will even have TV.

PS: Because this blog is also supposed to be about my unstoppable consumption of sugar, I will confess that I had ice cream for breakfast today. And LIKED it. Well...until I felt guilty and ate a big bowl of fruit and flaxseed. And no, I did not explode.....yet.

Hey intern!

I am a lazy bum. I am so lazy that I do not take the 3 or so minutes it takes to update my blog, even though I am usually online half the day. I'll admit, I spend most of my free internet time laughing at The Girl Who Ate Everything, which never ceases to entertain me. Read it! You will never go back ... um, unless you're going back to my blog because I'm still cool.

Well, the real reason I haven't updated my blog is because nothing interesting was happening in my life (unless you think me sitting at home slowly getting fatter from my cereal addiction is interesting...in which case you are weird). Nothing interesting until NOW! Dun dun DUN! I have a JOB. Ok....I actually have an internship, which is like a job, but doesn't pay like a real job. But that's ok, because there's theatre and free housing involved! And driving-of-cars-that-are-not-mine! I'm going to be a Company Management Intern at the Hangar Theatre and I'm starting this very weekend! Which sucks a little, because now I have to get off my cereal-fattened ass and pack, but is overall GREAT because, holy shit, I'm leaving NH and I don't have to work at the mall all summer!! Yahoooo!

In other news, Audrey is back. Yes, Audrey, not a replacement Audrey. Why? Because Apple hates me, that's why. They decided the battery was fine and they wanted to make me waste $29.95 on shipping to tell me that. While also erasing all of her contents and making me download and re-install everything. Losers.

Tears for Audrey :(

Oh the pain, the sadness, the torture. My beloved iPod, Audrey, is gone. The battery got all stupid and wouldn't charge anymore so I had to send her to some mysterious Apple place in LA to get repaired. BUT, little did I know, Apple will not merely replace the battery, no no, they replace the entire iPod! That is pretty damn cool...although this battery better last longer because I barely had the thing for a year. But STILL, it means that I am without any iPod until my new one comes. It is a living hell. I only sent it out yesterday, but I keep wistfully gazing out my window in the hope that the DHL man will magically appear with my new baby, like a yellow-clad stork. Or something. I'll have to think of a smashing name for the new one.




The other living hell is UNEMPLOYMENT, as all the other unemployed out there know. At least I get to live with my parents (yay?) and get free food and stuff, but I did not think this would be lasting longer than a month. And I've been home for a month and a DAY exactly.
I was suddenly on a new self-confidence kick yesterday, thinking "hey, I've just got to be really strict, set time limits, and spend about 5 hours a day searching and sending resumes online." But I already feel like I've reached the end of the internet. Or the end of my brain patience.
I dug out my trusty copy of What Color Is Your Parachute? (a perfect graduation gift, by the way) seeking some guidance, but instead found the statistic that "the success rate of trying to find a job through the Internet turns out to be only 4% (yikes!)." Yes, "yikes" indeed.
So now I'm just depressed again. There's a part of me that thinks this book wasn't meant for Theatre majors. Whatever, I'm going to get away from the computer and absorb everything on the "life-changing job hunt" anyway.

Rain rain go away

You would think that this crap weather would make me feel like I was still in London but ... no. It just feels like disgusting, freezing-almost-snow-like, New Hampshire rain. Blah. There are no other London-type attributes to found here either. No pubs, no brick buildings, no crusty minicab drivers, no Topshop, not even any streetlights or sidewalks. Because I live in the middle of NOWHERE. *Ahem,* my parents live in the middle of nowhere; I am simply mooching off them until I get a job and/or a place to live. Far, far from here, I hope.

I almost bought a copy of the Village Voice today in the hope that it would magically bestow a hip NYC job and hip NYC apartment on me. But then I realized I was about to pay $2.75 for something I could look up online using the internet service that I don't have to pay for. Yes, there is a plus to this sheltered confinement.

crankypants

Yes, I am a cranky mess today. Only four hours of work and I just wanted to shoot myself during each hour. OK, maybe not SHOOT myself, but it was seriously the slowest and crankiest four hour shift I've ever worked. So I had a Starbucks cappuccino (tall, skinny, hazelnut) when I got out and now feel a bit better. What? Food as reward? And from a giant corporate chain? Hell yes. So there.

I left the house with £5 in my wallet today and I am making the most of it:
£2.15 on the cappuccino (yes, rip off, but I LIKED IT)
£1 to be spent on a ticket to see Corpse Bride at the cheap-on-Fridays old-skool movie house in Chinatown
Leaving £2.85 to spend on CANDY from the Trocadero! Wheee! Although I hope to spend no more than £1.50, because that would be a sickening amount of candy. I have literally been looking forward pick 'n' mix and movies all day long. It is my light at the end of the tunnel. Sad but true.

Seeing as it is Bertolt Brecht's birthday, I will leave you (if you're really out there) with a quote from him:

And please make
My curtain half-height, don't cut the stage off.
Leaning back, let the spectator
Notice the busy preparations being so
Ingeniously made for him, a metallic moon
Comes swinging down, a shingle roof
Is carried in; don't show him too much
But show something. And let him observe
That this is not magic but
Work, my friends.

Genius.

lunch land?

I just had a brilliant idea: I should create an indoor park in the middle of Oxford St. where people like me who hate the cold and hate their "staff canteens" can spend their lunch hour! Genius! It's so nice when it's summer and you can take your lunch outside into the greenery and bask in the sunlight while you eat a PB&J (or, more likely here, a Marmite & cheese). But who wants to do that when it's cold? Crazy muppet people, that's who! So I'm going to knock out one of those crap discount stores on Oxford St. and build an indoor park instead, filled with central heating and oak trees and a swingset. Um...and some benches for those losers who wouldn't want to enjoy the artificial grass. In retrospect, this sounds like a converted McDonald's Playland. Perhaps I will call it Lunchland?

In other news, Orlando Bloom came into the store today and I MISSED IT. Poo. Ah well, he was probably surrounded by a swarm of 15-year-olds in leggings anyway. He was in the Gift Room so I like to imagine he was buying something....leather. Perhaps a keychain. Or not.

toes are froze

OK, I know I complain about the cold all the time and I'm probably actually a reptile because I'm always 20 degrees colder than all humans, but IT'S FUCKING COLD. And still no snow, just COLD, the kind that hurts your back because you contract your body in an attempt to hide from it. Which never works.

Anyway.

What I really wanted to write today was:
Rest In Peace Wendy Wasserstein
Yes it's true, the comedic genius Wendy Wasserstein has died. I'll confess, I haven't read every single one of her plays, but I became particularly partial to her after directing Medea, which she co-wrote with Christopher Durang (comic genius x TWO!). She was pretty damn cool.

OK, my toes are too cold to write more. I hate internet cafes ... at least this one only charges 50p per hour. Hell yes. Time to go buy some chocolate.

[insert title here]

I subscribe to an email newsletter about upcoming theatre and film jobs in London (ha, like i qualify for any of them) and this was the description given for one of the acting jobs:

BILL IS A BOXER IN HIS EARLY - MID THIRTIES. HE IS WHITE AND BODY - SHAPED.

What, pray tell, is body-shaped? Aren't we all body-shaped? Doesn't this mean any white man could play Bill? Hmmm.

In other news, my ushering job is suspended for a month in between shows so now I suddenly have my nights free. *Gasp*. What the hell do I do with myself? I contemplated getting another temp job, since I only work 20 hours a week at Liberty, but that's just too much work and I'm lazy. I'm going to be a bum and wander around London again, but this time actually see and do all the things I've been meaning to see and do. Um, all the cheap and/or free things, really. Hopefully I will still have a social life.

It is almost the Chinese New Year so I went (with my one Chinese friend ... I need more diversity) to Chinatown and bought cakes last night. The red bean kind with the flaky crust are ok, but I think they may be made with lard and that's scary so I may not eat them ever again. The mooncakes are the best; they look nothing like the moon but they're still so damn fancy.

It's f-ing cold

One week 'til Christmas (or as many like to say here, "xmas") and I'm still not quite sure what's happening on the big day. Three of us expats are having a foreign orphans day together, but I somehow (*ahem*drunken idea*ahem*) decided to host it at my flat and now I must devise plans for food and entertainment. I'm all for a big bottle of wine, some chocolates, and a DVD of "Muppet Christmas Carol," but that's just me.

It's also really cold. But no snow. Just COLD. And I need to pee...

I am the worst blogger ever

Wow, it's been almost 2 months since I updated this thing. Did anyone miss me? Does anyone actually read this thing besides the spammers that leave me random messages to buy their insurance or used Kiss albums?? Anyone? Bueller? That's what I thought.

I am sick. I think it's the plague. Well, no ugly boils yet but I have almost completely lost my voice and I feel like crawling everywhere since using my legs takes so much effort. I have not even tried eating any new and exciting biscuits. :( It's a sad day in Molly's stomach. I have, however, decided that I love marshmallows. Especially the multicolored pastel ones in the pick 'n mix at Topshop. Oh, so light and airy and tasty.

I am playing hooky from work today. OK, I called them so it's not really hooky but it feels devious. I plan to sit home with a tall mug of my hot water/lemon/honey concoction and watch TV. Yay me.

This is CRAP

I thought I had scored a perfect second job today, but no, no, just another illusion. I dropped my resume/CV at this fancy little gourmet foods shop yesterday and got a phone call later that afternoon saying, yes, they were hiring, and, gee, my CV looked great. Excitement ensued.

But then, I meet with a completely different snotty French woman this morning and things are not so fairy tale anymore.
"No, we need someone more flexible than that. I already have TWO part-timers."
And I am whisked away the moment her cappucino arrives.

So basically I woke up early to prettify myself - including ironing my skirt, which I never do - I blow-dried my hair, timed the ride on the tube perfectly, arrived at 10:00 on the dot, only to sit down for a 60-second rejection. Fine! I don't need your fine cheeses and quince paste ANYWAY!!

But inside, I'm crushed. This job really looked promising. Now I don't know where to look. I really don't want to work at the Gap ... even if it is London.

It's all about gettin' that cash money

I have a JOB. No joke. I'm going to be an usher at The London Palladium for their Christmas show. Wheeee, yay for customer service. And MONEY. Of course, the show doesn't open until next week so I won't get paid for a bit, but at least I know it's on the way.

Oh, and in a random aside, everyone should check out the Young at Heart Chorus. That's most definitely what I want to be doing when I'm 77! Amazing.

bah

I'm still unemployed and starting to get bitter about it.

And I don't want to eat McVities to console myself because I'm also starting to try to eat healthier... let's see how long that lasts. But I need to reverse the fattening process.

And I'm biting my nails again. Hardcore.

Someone think happy thoughts for me, please.

cheers!

So...I thought of all these exciting things to write about but they seem to have flown out of my head. Hmm.....

.....

I suppose I'll make a random list.

Here are my top five exciting moments/events/things of the day (yet in a random order):
1) The sun is out. Woo.
2) I finally had an interview today for a receptionist position at a hostel, which would be a cool job because I can wear whatever the hell I want and practice my foreign language skills.
3) I had a tasty cappucino with vanilla sugar on top.
4) I went to Hyde Park for the first time and it was lovely.
5) I look cute in a pink cardigan.

Wow, number 4 and 5 are kind of stretching it, but it's one of those "eh" days. I needed to make myself think of those things though so I can try to overshadow the fact that my iPod is busted, I am still unemployed and yet flying through my traveler's cheques like nobody's business, and my shoulders hurt like hell from walking all over the city with my over-stuffed messenger bag.

But at least I look cute in a pink cardigan.

And in sugar-infested food news, I went to Portobello Road Market this weekend and had a fantabulous crepe with Nutella. Heaven. And I also tried a mini package of mini Jammie Dodgers. They're swell after a pint. Really.

ok...I'm here...

Now that I am in the land of McVities, I don't know what to do. I already bought some McVities, of course, so I can't do that again.

There are a bunch of fun shops in the vicinity of my flat. Well "fun-looking" I should say since I've only visited about three since I arrived this morning. I went to Safeway to do some grocery shopping for the primary goods and of course to just wander around in a jet-lagged haze. There are so many things to LOOK at! Oooh! Ahhh! Yogurt! Biscuits! Tinned things! Huzzah! But there was only so much I felt like carrying so I didn't buy all those things. I also went to some sort of ethnic market and got some really cheap honey. Hell yes.

Now I just want to sleep but I really can't let myself. I MUST last into the evening hours so I will not be jet-lagged tomorrow. No sir. Because tomorrow I will LEARN things. And of course be in search of more sugar-laden items. Hopefully other than McVities because I really must expand my biscuit repertoire.

London calling

Right now I just want to get to London so I can eat lots of McVities biscuits. Is it sad if that's my primary reason? Yes...yes it is.

Actually, I'm just too freaked out to face any of the other realities of going...

...

"And so I went through the looking glass, stepped into the netherworld, where up is down and food is greed, where convex mirrors cover the walls, where death is honor and flesh is weak. It is ever so easy to go. Harder to find your way back."

-Marya Hornbacher, Wasted

Because I can't always have my cake and eat it too.