Like chocolate and peanut butter

Hey wow, two of my favorite things are joining forces!  And they're not edible things!  Liberty is designing a line for Target and it looks pretty rockin'.  Well, as rockin' as wee flowers and paisley can be.

The real reason I'm weak in the knees for the collection is because it reminds me of my days working at Liberty and wishing I could afford all the cute things we sold.  I worked in Customer Service in the basement but whenever I had to bring returns to other departments I would take an extra long trip so I could wander around and touch everything.  We sold lots of designer stuff other than just the Liberty of London prints, but the prints were what most customers were after.  I did end up buying a bunch of great, flowery fabric with my employee discount, but I'm pretty sure it's still sitting under my bed at my parents' house because I don't actually know how to sew.

But it's OK because, once again, Target is solving all my problems!

There's even a Liberty print bike!!  Good god, I want springtime.

Check out the whole collection here.  And then buy it for me next month, pleeeeease.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: poo pah to the max

Dudes, I am BEAT.  I'm working a ton of overtime in preparation for this bananatown gala we're planning at work while also fighting off the end of cold (again).  All I want to do is lie in bed and watch America's Best Dance Crew (I miss Kaba Modern!) and eat pretzels. 

But since I'm getting a significant bonus check from all this, I guess I'll hang out and try to raise us some money.  Blergh.

Coincidentally, do any of you know some rich people who would like to drop tons of money on an evening of musical theatre, fancy canapes, and self-congratulation?  Say... $5,000 or so?  Lemme know really soon.

I could use a shot of whiskey right about now.

andrea: (I'm all riled up from bubbles)

molly: bubbles?

champys?

 andrea: YES

  champys!

molly: i just had some whiskey, but sadly there was only about one shot left :(

  prepping for mad men watching

 andrea: ugh lame

 one shot of whiskey and mad men

  lame

  L

  A

  M

  E

  joe sends his regards

  as he is out of clever words right now

 molly: i bet HE isn't calling me lame!

 andrea: oh he did

  don't worry

 molly: i send those regards right back, gentleman

 oh crap then

  i take them back

 andrea: you can't

  they're out there in the ether

 molly: i throw my proverbial glove at the both of you

  poo pah

 andrea: poo pah!

  YES

you are on a ROLL

 molly: it's the lack of sleep

  and that one shot of whiskey

 andrea: woo!

  livin

PS: I stopped adding the date of the chat because you guys don't care, right?  All five of you?  Right.

Practically an ad for Mr. Clean Magic Erasers

I can't decide if Wayne Coyne's uber-modern house reminds me more of a stylized igloo or of the Mode Magazine office on "Ugly Betty":

Either way, I bet his housekeepers are working double time to keep all those surfaces white, especially if he's still biking around naked and covered in goo with these crazies (a very very NSFW link, by the way).  Hmmm.

Read more here.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: special skills

I am being a super duper multi-tasker tonight!  Not only am I writing this blog post, but I'm also watching Winter Olympics figure skating, trying to pick my next UCB class (holy shit my internship got extended!), and revising my Storytelling draft.

OK, actually, if I broke it down it's more like 75% writing this post, 15% picking a class, 8% watching figure skating (sequins!), and 2% revising (I don't even have the document open... I'm doing it in my head).

HEY!  You know who ELSE is a super multi-tasker?  Dreaface with her crazy spacephone!  (Nice transition huh?)  As much as I want to pretend I'm too cool to want an iPhone, I'm totally not.  Of course I want an iPhone.  I just know I can't handle it yet - monetarily or mentally.  I'm still excited about the fact that my current phone has a camera.  But if/when I do get one, I sure won't do this:

• 10/1/09 - 10:32am

 andrea: biking to the gym, i'll be back on when i get there

 molly: you're gonna gchat while you work out?? puh-lease

11 minutes

 andrea: HE'LL YES I am!

 I'm totally chatting and watching indomercials while I ellipticise

 molly: you're THAT girl

 what's an indomercial?

 andrea: Infomercial

  Which girl? Texty girl?

 molly: girl who uses her phone while ellipticising

  at least you're not talking on it though

 andrea: No, I would never

 molly: actually, i meant you're marlo thomas from that '70s tv show

  THAT GIIIIIIIRL

 andrea: Whatever man, I didn't get the iPhone so I could NOT text while I workout

molly: whateverzzz

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: BOOM

There isn't much to say about this here convo.  It is what is.  It speaks volumes.  It's touching the nation one child at a time.  The more you knoooooow.

(In other words, I'm rushing to finish my Storytelling assignment/go to a dance class/clean my room/finish watching the special features on my Pulp Fiction DVD and this is the first gem I came across.  Time's a wastin'.)

Do it:

• 8/8/09 - 11:27am 

andrea: haha, did you get my drunk text last night?

 molly: oh yeah!

  i meant to text you back

  i was going to say that i don't feel grown up enough

  you think deep thoughts when you're drunk

 andrea: i sure do

  i'm a deep, deep well

 a chasm

  a fjord

 molly: ooooh i love the word fjord!

 andrea: me too!

  going to breakfast,

  talk to you later

  boom!

 molly: mmm brekkie

  well i'll be here alllll day

  folks

That touchdown really moved me

I am a typical girl when it comes to the Superbowl.  I have no patience for the constant stopping and starting of the action and would rather just drink a lot of beer and eat nachos and wait for the kickass commercials.  (That's what girls do, right?)  Unless the Patriots are playing because in that case it's in my New England blood to represent.

If the Superbowl looked like any of these though, maybe I'd put down the tortilla chips and actually watch it:

(From Slate V)

Everything it seems I like is a little bit sweeter, a little bit fatter, a little bit harmful for me

I made an awesome mix while wide awake at 1am the other night and it's saving me this week.  My best playlists are made after midnight while sitting in bed, painstakingly moving songs around in iTunes so that all the intros and outros flow together perfectly.  This one was a mix of stuff I'm currently obsessed with and ended up having a crazy variety of tunes.  Highlights include Tears for Fears, Kid Cudi, Drunken Sufis, and Bjork - random, but awesome.

What I've been primarily obsessed with, however, is the "Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk" outro.  I never thought of myself as a huge Rufus Wainwright fan, but this song kept popping up on my Pandora stations and I liked it more and more each time I heard it.  I suppose I kinda stole the idea of using it as a mix closer from Andy (thanks dude!), but it works nicely.


Nice clogs, Rufus.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: good thing I'm not a nanny

I hate to be a cliche, but oh my god you guys, MONDAY. Christ-on-a-bicycle-Mary-Magdalene-Peter-Frampton MONDAY.  Maybe my alarm interrupted my delicate sleep cycle at the wrong moment or something today, but GOOD GOD, I've been wanting to break shit since I stepped out of the shower.  Crazy workplace drama isn't helping.

If I were Drea though, I'd be dealing with poopy pants drama instead of sassy pants drama (yes, it's a fine line).  We trade horror stories throughout the day of babies vs. staff meetings and seem to conclude that both options are equally dreary.  Luckily I'm getting better at handling theatre people, but babies?  Sheesh, I don't even know how to change a diaper.

• 8/5/09 - 9:58am

 andrea: so, get this, I put Sloane down like an hour ago, and she hasn't gone to sleep yet

  but she's screaming like a tantruming banshee

 molly: maybe you need to sing her a lovely song

 andrea: and I have things to do

  so... I could just go pick her up, and put her in the stroller and go do those things, since she's not going to sleep anyway

  but...

 now I'm angry at her, and I don't want to give her the satisfaction of me giving in and picking her up

  what is WRONG with me?

molly: nothing's wrong with you, the screaming banshee baby is facahked

  i would just put her in the stroller but i don't know anything about babies

would that mess up her sleep schedule

 andrea: but I'm so MAD at her

 molly: or actually make her smugly happy?

 andrea: grrrrr MAD

 molly: not sure

 andrea: i feel like it'll make her smugly happy

 plus its hot out

  and while I do have things to do, I don't necessarily want to go outside...

  decisions

  decisions of an immature nanny

 molly: eh, just let her scream and be a brat then

andrea: yeah, that's what I was thinking

  thanks for the support

 molly: anytime

So yeah.  Don't ever ask me to babysit until your kid is like, ten years old.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: I can also be purchased in bulk

I guess I need to drink more Yogi Tea because I don't even have enough inspiration to write a snappy intro today.

• 6/18/09 - 3:25pm

molly: the inspirational quote on my teabag says "you are unlimited"

 andrea: AHAHAHAHA

 molly: so in case you were worried, there is now an endless supply of molly

 andrea: oh i always knew it

molly: clearly someone at the tea company ran out of ideas

 andrea: why does your tea have inspiration on it anyways?

  why is the tea trying to snoop in your life?!

 molly: it's yogi tea

  it's all-knowing  Also: my mom mailed me some underwear recently that also has inspirational quotes printed around the top band.  For reals.  Forget books and art, you guys!  If you're feeling like your life is worthless, just sit around in your underwear and drink tea!  It's working for me!  (Not really.)

*For more sarcastically-captioned photos, go to Superpoop.  Also inspirational.

This is what my dreams are like

This photographer Denis Darzacq is great.  He's successfully combining two of my favorite things: supermarkets and jumping in the air.  I wish I could get as much air as these dudes:

 Ahh, someday.

Check out how he works his magic here and then maybe check out his exhibit in NYC here.  ART!

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: because all my jeans are falling apart

Friends, I gotta start this by saying I just went to a bar alone for the first time ever and liked it a little too much.  I've always been afraid to go to a bar without company, thinking I would feel very sad and/or get hit on by crazy old men.  Well, I just started a Storytelling class at UCB and our first assignment was to do something outside of our comfort zone so, boom, why not try it?  The verdict: a little sad/scary at first, but once you get some gin in you it's kind of amazing.  I sat there for a good hour, people-watching and writing random things in my notebook that felt genius but will probably seem lame tomorrow.  I cheated a little by going to my favorite bar, but still, baby steps.

I do, however, need to cut back on the drinking and the post-drinking tortilla-chip-eating that comes with it.  My thighs are starting to scare me.  Here's an ode to health (and T-ball):

• 7/8/09 - 10:26am
  

andrea: so, my new favorite healthy snack in THE WORLD is radishes on toast

seriously, i could eat this til i'm dead

molly: i'll have to try that

 andrea: its sooooo good, on buttered toast with salt & pepper & a little hot flakes!

ooh and lettuce sometimes

 molly: sounds like slug food

andrea: no, awesometown food

 molly: awesometown slugs

  that's like the name of a t-ball team

 andrea: hell yes it is

  and they always win the championship and get to go to pizza hut

 molly: yessss

  i sense a movie deal

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: gettin' the shakes

For Andrea's birthday I got her a giant coffee mug featuring this fine quip:



Dreabutt rides without a helmet ALL THE TIME and I mom her to death about it but I think she's still being a reckless freak.  Had I remembered this conversation, however, I might have thought twice before encouraging her excessive coffee consumption:

• 6/30/09 - 9:18am
  

andrea: get me a job

  i would like to work on a space station

  making pizza

  but I want to be able to come down whenever I like

and I'd like that to take not more than...say an hour

  oh, and Megan McCain is a stupid bag of twat

molly: wow, good morning to you

 andrea: :0

  :)

  I wish I could make that little guy raise his fist in the air, all glory-like

  (i"ve had too much coffee)

 molly: i have not had nearly enough

 i've been having insane insomnia lately

  it sucks

  i'm thinking about starting a fight club

 andrea: ooooh...can I be the documentarian/CHAMPION?

molly: documentarian? sure

  champion?

  you just TRY

 andrea: oh just you wait, I'm about to go get cuppa coffee number 3

SETTLE DOWN.

Shot in the head

It's official: I'm an actor again.  Well maybe I shouldn't make such declarations until I'm actually cast in something, but let's celebrate possibilities with my fancy headshot:

 I already have some of my own casting ideas: I've heard from no less than two people (a whole TWO!) that I bear an uncanny resemblance to Zoe Kazan:

Yes?  Maybe?  Well, according to her stats on IMDB, her height is 5' 4 1/2" (just 1/2" shorter than me!) and her birthday is September 9, 1983 (just 15 days older than me!) - I could totally be her stand-in!!  It seems she may be moonlighting as a blonde every now and then, but I could swing that if I was getting paid.  Zoe - have your people call my people.  (And by "my people" I mean "that Verizon voicemail lady".)

PS: my headshots were done by my super duper former intern Claire McAdams.  She's worth a trip to Texas.

I should see if this dude is hiring

So maybe he is nuts, but at least this dude is getting away with labeling "let's play dress up and run around" as "performance art":

I find that I can float above the everyday doldrums of my normal world, if I just create my own imaginary reality, and carry it with me on my body every second of everyday as a costume. Sometimes when I’m on the subway, I imagine that I’m a Milkman lost in time. I don’t know where the train is going, understand the map, or know the time and place I am sitting. Because I don’t feel comfortable in place, I feel most comfortable being out of place. Perhaps this is why people seek a soulmate and a family, in order to feel that they have a place. I decided to find that special place in my artwork.

I don't know about you, I could totally go for some candy crack delivered by a dude with a fish head right now.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: couch dreams

I'm back at work today.  Luckily it's really slow and the big bosses aren't here, but it still means I had to put on real clothes and get up far too early.  Also, I am being plagued with pinching headaches that only seem to be remedied by keeping my glasses on.  NERD.

I wish I was still home watching TV all day in my pajamas... although that's probably what's caused this glasses situation.  If I could insert a picture of myself here, it would be me all nerdy-glasses, harumphing loud enough to make my bangs fly around.

• 6/3/09 - 12:10pm
  

 andrea: sometimes when i watch too much tv it really brings home how much people nauseate me

but mostly that's because tori & dean isn't on.

 molly: so.... tori and dean make you feel happy and fuzzy inside?

 andrea: mm hmm

  :)

 molly: you're weird

 andrea: i know it

 molly: and tori looks like a dude

 andrea: i make no apologies

  she looks like a frog dude

  a harse dude

  horse

  a horsefrog dude

 they should call it horsefrog dude & dean

 molly: HA, harse dude

  YES

 andrea: hee hee

 molly: that could be a nickelodeon show

 andrea: yes!

  on right after willow & the centipedes

  which is another show i just made up

 molly: HA i almost believed you

  that show sounds like it would be creepy

 andrea: it would be fun and joyous

  ...

  and a little creepy

molly: that could also be a band name... for a creepy band

andrea: full of creep shows

  that sings about bugs

OK FINE

It's about 5pm on New Year's Eve and I still have no idea what I'm doing tonight.  I'm slightly sick, very broke, and feeling disgruntled about every outfit I own so going "out" is slowly being crossed off the list.  It's looking like I'll either be headed to my bud Rebecca's parents' loft to drink and slide around the floor in my socks or staying here to drink and... not wear socks.  I'm edging toward Rebecca's parents' place if only because it will ensure that I take a shower and change out of gym clothes.

I keep trying to make some "Best Of" lists, but I really suck at it.  Instead, I'll leave you with some self-centered, stream-of-consciousness thoughts about my decade and my year.  Deal with it.

THOUGHTS ABOUT THE DECADE (aka THE OHs) (aka THE AUGHTS):
- The end of high school.  Did I ever mention that my prom theme was "2001: A Space Odyssey"?  And that it was under a circus tent and there was popcorn and cotton candy?  What the crap was that about?
- I miss college dining halls because you could eat frozen yogurt and Froot Loops for breakfast and your mom couldn't care.
- I was a big dork about Brecht for a long while.

I still kinda am.
- Going to Prague for a semester was the best decision ever.  I discovered gin & tonic, Egon Schiele,

Viennese coffee, and Daft Punk.  And it's a nice pretentious thing to throw into conversations.
- I used to live in a giant house on Fletcher Place in Burlington, VT that we called "Sketcher Fletcher." It was freezing and usually dirty.
- Summer theatre jobs = mostly slave labor.
- Living in London for six months is tied as "best decision ever." I would move back there in a heartbeat.
- I've only lived in NYC for about 2.7 years and I've already lived in three different boroughs.
- Discovering UCB and the people within it has been the perfect boost I needed to make me feel like I finally belong in this city.
- I can't listen to Pretty & Nice and not dance.

- I'm so glad I started listening to David Bowie.

THOUGHTS ABOUT THE YEAR 2009:
- Thank all the gods and all the stars that I no longer live in Brooklyn with crazypants.
- Blonde Redhead is never quite as good live as you want them to be.
- Biking in Astoria really isn't so terrifying.  Manhattan probably is though.
- I have so many un-listened-to podcasts and so little time.
- I will never stop loving the Dooce.
- Long-form improv is probably not as hard as my brain is trying to make it.
- Deerhoof and Ted Leo are always good live.

- I am turning into a horrible compulsive shopper.
- Hip hop class always makes me feel better.
- Oh my gosh, beets and radishes are actually pretty tasty!
- I'm so glad I still listen to David Bowie (every day).

Just a heads up, I'm totally going to refer to 2010 as "oh ten." Don't try and correct me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: THE END (of the year... and the decade... and a bunch of celebs)

Well look at that: last Monday of the year.  Of the decade.  Of the "aughts" if you wanna be all trendy about it.  The blogs are abuzz with these "Best Of" and "End of an Era" lists and while in theory I'd like to make a list or two, in reality I'm a lazy ass.  I just got off an extra-long Bolt Bus ride from Boston back to NYC and bus rides are like a free pass for being super lazy all day.  Sure, I spent most of it napping and reading The Glass Castle (which is awesome so far, by the way) but, you guys, in order to pee I had to balance myself in a wobbly closet and we didn't stop for a break so I had to eat clementines and Christmas cookies for lunch!  Gaahhhhhhd.  So unfaaaaaaair.

Anyway.  End of the year and stuff.

What strikes me the most about 2009 is the amount of big name celebrities who died.  What's in your water, Hollywood?? Damn.  The fact that Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died on the SAME DAY is crazy enough.  Andrea and I have our own theories about what really went down with MJ:

• 6/27/09 - 11:57pm
  

andrea: everyone's posting on the jackson slaying

  the universe slayed him

  he was called home by the mothership

 molly: slaying??

  ok, yeah

 andrea: "enough." it said

 molly: yeah, it said "whoa, whoa, your face is not even a face, you've got a lot of sweet singles, some box sets, some dance moves - why not quit while you're ahead?"

 andrea: HAHAHAHA

 molly: "also, michael - we have unicorns here"

  SOLD

 andrea: and he jumped right out of his own saggy alien skin

 molly: ack!

 andrea: right

 molly: maybe the coroners found his skin!

 andrea: aaaaaagh!

Totally plausible.

I'm on vacation this week so maybe I'll get my own little "Best Of" lists together while I avoid doing laundry and writing cover letters.  Uhhh... after I go to the gym and work off these cookie thighs.  And after I finish watching season three of "Mad Men."  So... maybe never.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: holidazzze

It is so spectacularly stupendous to be on vacation.  I was actually pretty productive today, but I'm taking an 11am bus home tomorrow and have not packed anything at all.  Instead I'm getting far too emotionally involved in Access Hollywood's coverage of Brittany Murphy's death (holy celebrity death year, 2009!) and eating tons of kettlecorn.  Once my roommates get home we're having our own mini Christmas with boozing and bonding.  Look at our Charlie-Brown-ish tree (in horrible Macbook camera lighting):

Awwww, cute.  The best part is that we actually have SNOW!  I ran around in it on Saturday night (during a Home Alone party!), but sadly it's already turned into dirty puddles.  Nothing fun about it once your socks get wet.

• 12/17/08 - 11:51am

molly: is it raining there?

 andrea: wintry mix

  ugh

 molly: i love that term "wintry mix"

  it makes me think that chex mix should be falling from the sky

 andrea: i hate it

  because it sounds fun

 molly: or candy canes and mittens

 andrea: exactly, but in reality, its awful
Hopefully things will be more festive in New Hampshire - at least there will be amazing Christmas vinyl to listen to!  Shake it, Herb!

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: countdown to vacation

I only have 4.5 more days of work to get through and then it's TWO! WEEKS! OFF!  Yeah, roughly 6 days of that will be happy holiday family fun time, but the rest of it will be spent catching up with "Dexter" and cutting up magazines and baking things.  So exciting!  The closer I get, the harder it is to be patient.

• 6/18/09 - 9:47am

 molly: i've decided to take next thursday and friday off and my heart is already palpitating with excitement

 andrea: oh wow

  do you have the plans

molly: was that a question? like, did i get the secret plans? the treasure map you mailed me?

  yes

  yes i did

 the getaway car has been arranged

 andrea: good

 i got the elaborate costumes

 molly: phew

  and the rope? we're gonna need a LOT of rope

  and by rope i of course mean nerds rope

 for my low blood sugar

 andrea: i robbed the wonka factory dude

  we're all set

 molly: man we're gonna ROCK this rodeo!

I'd like to be under the sea

I don't quite know what this octopus is doing with that coconut shell, but I can't stop watching it.  It's creepy and fascinating all at once.