Don't worry, no one else wants it

Sometimes, when I am feeling extra bratty, I don't like to eat really good candy in front of other people because then I will have to share. It's inevitable that in the rare moments I unveil a gleaming bag of Jelly Bellys or M&Ms at my desk, my co-workers will have smelled it from their desk in the next room and will magically appear over my shoulder with puppy-dog eyes. But I think I've found the solution: ugly candy. Specifically, this candy:

That's right, the humble Chick-O-Stick, which I re-discovered during a recent morning excursion to Economy Candy.

Yeah, bad news: I learned that Economy Candy is just a quick stop off the F train, meaning I can stop there on my way to work and only add about 15 minutes of commute time. The good news: I can stop there on my way to work and only add about 15 minutes of commute time!!

But really, look at that thing. It looks like an old carrot chewed on by a rabid dog and left under a haystack. And even if someone was brave and asked for a piece anyway, all attempts to break off "just a small bite" leave a pile a crumbs. But luckily no one asked me for one. In reality, this stick of ugly is the best thing ever. It's like the inside of a Butterfinger compressed into stick form and spiked with coconut. I don't even like coconut that much and I think it's genius. And - for those who care - it's even vegan. Here's what Wikipedia has to say:

The Chick-O-Stick is the Atkinson Candy Co.'s most well-known candy, having been manufactured since the Great Depression. It is made primarily from peanut butter, granulated sugar, corn syrup, and toasted coconut, with colorings and preservatives added, and contains no trans fats.

Do you hear that? No trans fats! It's practically organic!! Um... minus the "colorings and preservatives." *Sigh,* I'm in love. But, damn it, just when I was starting to eat healthily again, the Atkinsons drop in to guarantee a future wardrobe of elastic waistbands.