Monday, August 31, 2009

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: did I ever mention I once had mono?

Last year Andrea got to go to the beach for a long weekend and she rubbed it all up in my face while I was withering away eating ice pops and watching "Six Feet Under."

What a dick.

Just kidding.

(95% kidding.)
  • 9/5/08 - 3:56pm
why aren't you heeeere?
me: go away miss vacation face
because i have a SUCK JOB and MONO
andrea: ugh
mono. no
me: no kidding
so do you have wireless on the beach or something??
because then i hate you more
andrea: wireless in the house, house next to the beach
me: poop
andrea: its awesome
like a last hurrah for summertime
me: POOP

Monday, August 24, 2009

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: human burrito

Just add salsa!!
  • 8/26/08 - 9:56pm
molly: you would be proud, lindsay and i had burritos
oh AND she showed me the awesome pic on her phone of you eating a burrito
andrea: because secretly, I AM a burrito!
molly: I KNEW IT
you always smelled suspiciously of beans and guac
um... in a good way
andrea: its comin outta my pores

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Move your errrmms!

I am on a lovely "staycation" this week (side note: I really hate the word "staycation" but can't stop using it all the time - stop me) and so took some time to pop into a dance class this evening. I came away with some of the best Bev quotes/life lessons ever.
  • On stretching: "Move your head into eternity!"
  • On being ghetto: "Some of y'all need to visit Harlem. Well... some of y'all should bring a friend."
  • On... crowding, maybe?: "Move all the way up to the mirror! This is New York City and some people are homeless!"

Monday, August 17, 2009

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: career opportunities

This was about the time when I really started to question what the hell I'm doing with my life. I haven't come up with an answer yet.
  • 3/18/08 - 12:47pm
andrea: i can't believe they won't let you drink in the office anymore
i mean what is this? russia?
molly: it's getting there
theatre is russia
andrea: we need to get you a new job
molly: do it
preferably in italy

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Somebody in here it's your birthday

Yesterday my blog turned four years old.  If cukr kazdy den were a human, it would now be a hyperactive, overdramatic, pre-diabetic toddler.  And if I were a good mother, I would have celebrated this yesterday but I am currently absorbing the 55-odd hours of sweaty laughter that is the Del Close Marathon.  (I'll try to give a rundown of this madness later, but so far let me just say that Horatio Sanz is looking svelte and John Gemberling is still opposed to wearing shirts.)  ANYWAY...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BLOG!!  I started you out of complete boredom during a box office job and now look how you've blossomed.   We've laughed, we've cried, we've drunk too much booze and eaten too much sugar - and isn't that what life's all about?  Well no... I'm sure life's actually about a lot more than that.  But I'm only 25 and what do I know?  

I'm half asleep.

Let's eat some Funfetti.

Monday, August 10, 2009

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: I heart Web MD

Hey, remember when I had mono? That was no fun. I was bored out my mind and just surfed the internets all day reading terrible things. Good thing Andrea is my voice of reason.
  • 8/16/08 - 3:08pm
molly: oh my god, i'm reading horrible things about mono
apparently if my liver is damaged badly enough, i may have to avoid alcohol for up to a YEAR
andrea: STOP
molly: i thought i used up all my bad karma!!
i know it, i need to stop
i'm convincing myself i'm getting hepatitis now
molly: but what if i dooooo? what if that's why i'm dehydrated??
oh wait, i think i've had that vaccine
so unless my vaccine didn't work, you're probably right
it's just a ruined liver
andrea: you're fine
you weirdo

Monday, August 03, 2009

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: drunk, drunk on the range

This evening I met some expensive scotch. And I met it HARD. If I were to have a conversation with myself right now it would probably sound a lot like this:
  • 7/25/08 - 12:41am
andrea: lonesome drunkie
drunken on whiskey
whiskey and saddlebags
made of tequila
on the prairie
molly: i want a saddlebag made of tequila!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have half a bag of pita chips to eat and some Wham! to listen to. Thanks scotch.