Just to warn you...

I stink.

Not in a gross-body-odor kind of way, but in an oh-shit-I-spilled-perfume-on-myself kind of way. Because that's exactly what it is.

I have this perfume I got in Florida, which is supposed to smell like the orange fields. It's a little bit tacky and, while it does smell a lot like oranges, it also has a subtle scent of old lady soap. BUT it came in a bottle shaped like an orange! AND it makes me think of my elderly aunt in Florida! AND AND I already dress like I'm guest-starring on the Golden Girls, so why not go all the way and smell like it too!?! Sure.

But that's a problem when I'm tired and hungover and spill it all over myself. Because now instead of oranges and floral soap I smell like ORANGE PEELS AND OLD LADIES ALL UP IN YOUR FACE. Well, all up in my face, really. And it's definitely not helping the hangover headache.

Bottom line: if you're going to be hanging out with me within the next 24 hours, you may want to keep a safe distance. Unless you have a Bea Arthur obsession or something. In which case, stay away from my plastic beads and slip-on shoes too.