John, I'm only drinking

David Bowie turns 66 on January 8th, 2013.  If I had any sense I would already be planning a theme party, since I seem to miss the window for it every year and then swear to throw one the following year.  Well, this year I've screwed it up again because on the 8th I will not even be home, but instead visiting my sister, her boyfriend, and their cat in their fancy new house in a fancy new town.  Not the best place to throw an impromptu Bowie Ball.  BUT maybe I can at least strong-arm them into mixing up a Bowie-themed cocktail or two?  I'm especially fond of this one:

Thanks Andrea, for letting me know this existed, and Flavorwire, for being super cool as always. 

Might I also suggest a "Sound and Vision" cocktail?  It would be blue curacao, gin, and Cool Blue Gatorade, garnished with Pop Rocks. "Blue, blue, electric bluuuue." Drink at your own risk.

Five years

OH HI.

So: as of today I have officially lived in New York City for five whole years and, for some reason, the occasion made want to revisit this long-forgotten little blog.  Also, I saw that Google automatically shows visitor stats now and apparently I am still getting DAILY page views here.  I mean, we're talking like, two or three readers daily but STILL.  I feel guilty now.  What if it's the same two or three people revisiting every day, desperately hoping I've gone to another Jens Lekman show or eaten too many cupcakes again, only to find that same old post from October??  Sorry, reader(s).  I also realized I need to finally pay Flickr so that photostream shows up again too.  Whoops.

Anyway, here's a glimpse of what's been going on in the last six months:

Wild!

I've also been working 1.5 jobs, writing movie articles for Sketch Tiger, making half-hearted attempts at open mic storytelling, buying grown-up clothes, and making a number of questionable choices under the influence of whiskey. 

I'll be honest: I'm in kind of a creative rut right now.  I want to write awesome things and perform awesome things and make some non-depressing collages and learn to play the drums, but I can't seem to get started in any direction.  Instead I'm listening to a lot of Jens and old Wilco and painting my nails and reading magazines and grumbling about teenagers.  I told this to my mom today and she said "don't let those bad people in your house," by which I think she meant "don't let negative energy in your head" although I'm also going to double check all my locks.  She's right, but mostly I just need any energy.

Hopefully I can get back on track with this blog.  In the meantime, send me a project.  Clearly I've been spending too much energy perfecting my sassy sunglasses face.

BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLIN!!!

OK: let's acknowledge the fact that I've been so lazy about this blog that I've let a good two months breeze by without a peep about my (not at all exciting) life - to the extent that I even forgot my blogiversary AGAIN.  I don't even have cupcakes laying around that I can pretend I baked in celebration (but daaaamn I wish I did.)  Well, OK, here's a photo of some cupcakes I baked four months ago because I was being a fatty and really wanted peanut butter cake with chocolate icing:

Yay fatty blog!  But what is there to say about six years anyway?  I mean, I was a pretty rad six-year-old (braid-ponytails-on-the-side and sparkly sweaters, whatwhat!), but in the grand scheme of life it's like, meh... six.  Maybe I'm just feeling cynical.  And still lazy.

(Oh, an aside about the word "lazy": I'm determined to reclaim it as a cool thing.  Remember when phones weren't smartphones and were just "cell phones?"  I know, those were crazy times, right?  And some people still have them!  Anyway: one of the best precursors to auto-correct was the T9 word function, where you would just furiously type away on the number pad and the phone would "know" which letters you meant to type.  My old phone was the best at this because every time I tried to type the word "lazy" it would default to "jazz" - resulting in sentences like "I'm too jazz to get off the couch" and "stop being such a jazz ass."  So much cooler, right?  So don't be lazy, be JAZZ.)

But let's get back to my life.  Yesterday was a crazy day: I had to work at 7am, there was a minor earthquake that got all of NYC's panties in a twist, AND - thanks to Kottke - I discovered this amazing website.   It's a collection of stories by Questlove, sorted by name, in which he recalls encounters with different celebrities, as requested by other readers.  What makes them so amazing is not just the way they are written (which is as if he typed directly from a dictation of himself), but the kind of crazy celebrity shenanigans he gets into.  And I'm not talking like, action movie buddy cop craziness, but over-the-top displays of money that must just seem totally normal once you hit a certain level on the star meter.  The story about Will Smith's leather-floored mansion tops everything, but rollerskating Prince (part of the Eddie Murphy story) is a close runner up.  I mean.... GOD. DAMN.

Questlove: please come to a Moth StorySlam.  It would be the best six minutes of everyone's life.

PS: As a bonus, I discovered this site linked to the Questlove one: The 90s Rap Name Generator!  Mine's "Big M Da' Slim Pimp" - but you probably already knew that.

OK, for real this time

I present to you: London - a journey in photos

First night essentials:

Classic English breakfast - made even better by hashbrown triangles (err... even though I don't really seem to like eggs anymore):

Spitalfields Market:

Canned cocktails!

Art: 

Dancing times all the times:

Sally Lunn's bunzzzz - they're all the rage in Bath:

Creepy statues in Bath:

I. Love. This. Drink.

People in Bath live in style:

Booze bouquet!

THE END.  (Until I magically get a job that gives me a visa and lets me move back... let's all cross our fingers for that one.)

Future, present, past

I can only hope to be as cool as these ladies when I hit retirement age:


(via Bust)

I don't necessarily love their exact style choices, but I do love their I-don't-give-a-shit attitude.  Iris Apfel is totally right: dressing up should be an "exercise in creativity" and a way to express how you're feeling each day.  I don't have the dream wardrobe that allows me to wear exactly what I dream about wearing each day (YET), but I am trying to make more of an effort towards really wearing OUTFITS.  Luckily, I already dress like an old lady pretty often so the transition into senior citzenry should be a cinch.

Speaking of dressing up, oh yeah, Andrea and I went to London!  And wore a bunch of outfits and did cool stuff! 

I promise I will blog the highlights real soon.  Reallll soooooooon.

Oh, and just to give myself something else to procrastinate, I started another blog on Tumblr called Everything was awesome back then.  It's about my obsessions with a past that I was never a part of.  DUH.

Widget and Sassoon: London adventure times!

I know, I know - I had that burst of energetic blogging and now I've stopped.  I'm gonna get back on the wagon though, I swear... soon.  For now I'm just popping in to say HOLY CRAP ANDREA AND I ARE IN LONDON.  We're in the midst of all sorts of shenanigans right now (canned cocktails, Jammie Dodgers, hot tunes, heart-print tights, pants-less dancing, etc.) so I'll have to post a full report when I get home and I'm all sad and broke.  Here's a sneak peak though:

My pocket's eatin' cheese cake!

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: let's get some shoes

It's weird how having less income just makes me want to spend more of it.  I could really use these boots:

And this jacket-y cape:

And this turntable:

Oh yeah, and some fancy vodka.

andrea: i have one more purchase today, my booze

 me: yeah i think i'm actually buying some today too

  i earned it this week

 andrea: i'm gonna make jalapeno lime spritzers with tequila

 me: ooooh

 andrea: I just fuckin went nuts

 me: what do you add besides the spicy tequila?

 andrea: and i still want to do mani/pedi this weekend

  and buy espadrilles

  i have problems

 me: no no, you have styel

or.. style

  i don't know what styel is

  maybe a fancy vodka

 i'm going to the bank

  i'm going to call you so we can talk about shopping

 andrea: do

  it

Oh my god, SHOES!

Tavi is officially invited to my nerd party

Not long after I confessed my dreams of hosting a hip library party, I discovered by way of Style Rookie that this zine did a feature where a bunch of fashion bloggers dressed up as literary characters.

If these supercool, stylish people are dressing up, a library party can't be that nerdy of an idea, can it?

And on a side note: can it still be called a "zine" if it's well-designed, mass-produced, and costs $10?  I thought zines were what my punk rock friends in high school made when they stole Sharpies and hijacked the photocopier during art class. 

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: LIBRARY PARTY!

I've had this amazing idea for a theme party kicking around in my head for a few years now: The Library Party.

First of all, in my ideal world, all parties would be theme parties.  And by theme parties I mean themed everything: appropriate music, kitschy food and drinks, and guests must arrive in costume. Almost all parties I went to in college were theme parties, but in retrospect that may have been because we were nerdy theatre kids. 

Yes, I know how photogenic I am, please hold your gasps.

But still: what is it about reaching a certain age that makes it uncool to get dressed up and meticulously plan for a theme party?  Why does it only have to be OK on Halloween?

That's why my dream theme party is the Library Party.  I think it would attract both people like me who are freaks about costume parties and the more wary people who would only like to put on a crazy tie.  The idea would be that everyone has to arrive dressed as either a character from a book or a famous author.  PLUS, every guest would have to bring a book or two that they don't want and would swap with others at the party.  There would of course also be literary-themed drinks and snacks and music.  If I got my act together, I would even sent out real snail-mail invites printed on old library cards.  Really though, the best part would be the chance for a bunch of pretentious nerds to get drunk and talk books and then dance together - right??

The one thing holding me back is my fear that I don't know enough nerds who would actually get on board and show up.  What if Andrea was the only guest??  All we'd do is wear fake beards and eat mango and dance!

andrea: i love mango

  if I wasn't so full right now, I would want mango real bad

  http://www.outofprintclothing.com/Shop_a/152.htm

 me: i went through a big mango phase a few years ago and then kinda forgot about them

 oh yeah i've seen those somewhere before, on daily candy or something

  i love a good book nerd shirt

 andrea: me too!

 me: man, one of these days i am really throwing a library party and it's going to KILL

andrea: dude. fall

  do it for the start of fall

  AAAAAAASAHHHHHH

 me: YES

trouble is, i can't find enough nerds who are into it

 andrea: are you kidding?

  you know tons of THEATRE people

  and improv nerds

  recruit

  RECRUIT

  who will I be?!

  oh nooooooo!!!!1

 me: yeah, maybe i'll start spreading the word during del close marathon next weekend

  yeah, that would be my biggest problem - finding the best costume ever

 maybe i'll surprise everyone and be fucking MARK TWAIN!

 andrea: yeeeeeeessss

 this is so hard

  i'm staring off into space thinking about it

  i should have been thinking about this for years

 its like halloween pressure times twenty

 me: it's ok, there's time

  seeing as it won't happen until i get a big enough nerd posse

Whoops, I never did spread the word during DCM so consider this your official pre-invitation, nerd posse.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: oh yeah that happened

Remember when Andrea had two houses?  And I had two jobs?  And pom poms went on necklaces?  And... dancing and cats?  Ummm, I don't know what I'm talking about.  This happened a long time ago:

andrea: boo

 me: boo HOOOO

  boo WHO?

  boo YOU

 andrea: boo me~

  i meant!

  what are you up to?

  if you were here we'd be dancing

 me: totally

  i'm at work

  work #2

 andrea: ugh

  i'm at home

 home #2

 me: ha, which one is #2?

 andrea: yellow

  le sigh

 me: ah yes

 andrea: i'm making a totally sweet pom pom necklace though

me: hotness

  like literally, it will keep you warm

andrea: yes!

yes! done!

  it's my fave

  its like a fancy cat toy that you wear

  !

 me: you should lace it with catnip

andrea: no no no

Mona Lisa Gaga

This has been on my mind ever since I watched My Cousin Vinny last week.  Don't Marisa Tomei's outfits as Mona Lisa Vito look suspiciously like Lady Gaga's?  I'm sensing some mutual inspiration:

 

 

  

 

 

 

OK, so Ms. Germanotta is taking it to another level, but the spirit is there, right?    If I had bonanza amounts of money and no shame, I would totally blow Mona Lisa Vito outfits out of the water too.  I wish I could pull off this one in particular (best photo I could dig up, sadly): 

 

It's a floral one-piece jumpsuit thing!  With a big cutout in the back!  And she's wearing it with heeled booties!  At a CABIN in the WOODS!!!  Get on this, Gaga!

Lady Vito makes me really want to bleach one strand of hair by my ear and then backcomb and Rave the crap out of it.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: summer > winter

Dreaface was in town this weekend and we had the most jam-packed-yet-relaxing two days of super funsies ever.  Highlights included pizza in a cone, Spa Castle body temperature adjustments, edamame dumplings, neon nails, Japanese groceries, and a Cake Shop dance fest.

Andrea is my best friend, but there are some things we will never agree on.  Number one is probably whether or not summer is better than winter (OF COURSE IT IS).  Another one is whether or not Bethenny Frankel is crazy or awesome (FREAKSHOW):

me: what are you watching?

 andrea: bethenny getting married

 me: oh dear

 and yet, if i were home now i'd probably be watching it too

  her face is terrifying

 andrea: i <3 her

  i have a lady boner for Bethenny Frankel

me: eeewwww

 her jaw is like someone shoved a baking sheet into her face

 andrea: very descriptive...

 me: i've thought about this a lot

But these arguments never last long.  There's too much dancing to do.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: She's (we's) crafty

Andrea rolls back into town in just 4 days and I'm psyched out of my brains.  I think I should run out and buy puff paint just in case arts-and-crafts hour really happens this time.  Oh man, to think of all the hand-decorated clothes I rocked 15 or so years ago and then so carelessly gave away with no whim that I could have worn it all again in an acceptable, ironic, fashionable way!

me: i think we should play with puff paint when i visit

  let's puff paint an entire sock

 andrea: ha!

  just one?

 me: um.... yah

 then you have to wear a completely normal, blank sock with it

 andrea: awesome

 me: i'm creative like that

  i remember when i was like 8 or 9 my friend had her birthday party at a craft store and we puff-painted t-shirts

i think i made a picture of a crazy person

  i would kill to have that now

  oh!

 andrea: that's amazing

 me: and i had a pink sweatshirt that i puff painted too!

  man

 andrea: i just wrote my name over and over with like, rainbows when we did that at my birthday

 me: ha

And yeah, I'd TOTALLY wear a shirt covered with Andreas and rainbows too, just in case you were curious.