Wednesday, August 24, 2011
OK: let's acknowledge the fact that I've been so lazy about this blog that I've let a good two months breeze by without a peep about my (not at all exciting) life - to the extent that I even forgot my blogiversary AGAIN. I don't even have cupcakes laying around that I can pretend I baked in celebration (but daaaamn I wish I did.) Well, OK, here's a photo of some cupcakes I baked four months ago because I was being a fatty and really wanted peanut butter cake with chocolate icing:
Yay fatty blog! But what is there to say about six years anyway? I mean, I was a pretty rad six-year-old (braid-ponytails-on-the-side and sparkly sweaters, whatwhat!), but in the grand scheme of life it's like, meh... six. Maybe I'm just feeling cynical. And still lazy.
(Oh, an aside about the word "lazy": I'm determined to reclaim it as a cool thing. Remember when phones weren't smartphones and were just "cell phones?" I know, those were crazy times, right? And some people still have them! Anyway: one of the best precursors to auto-correct was the T9 word function, where you would just furiously type away on the number pad and the phone would "know" which letters you meant to type. My old phone was the best at this because every time I tried to type the word "lazy" it would default to "jazz" - resulting in sentences like "I'm too jazz to get off the couch" and "stop being such a jazz ass." So much cooler, right? So don't be lazy, be JAZZ.)
But let's get back to my life. Yesterday was a crazy day: I had to work at 7am, there was a minor earthquake that got all of NYC's panties in a twist, AND - thanks to Kottke - I discovered this amazing website. It's a collection of stories by Questlove, sorted by name, in which he recalls encounters with different celebrities, as requested by other readers. What makes them so amazing is not just the way they are written (which is as if he typed directly from a dictation of himself), but the kind of crazy celebrity shenanigans he gets into. And I'm not talking like, action movie buddy cop craziness, but over-the-top displays of money that must just seem totally normal once you hit a certain level on the star meter. The story about Will Smith's leather-floored mansion tops everything, but rollerskating Prince (part of the Eddie Murphy story) is a close runner up. I mean.... GOD. DAMN.
Questlove: please come to a Moth StorySlam. It would be the best six minutes of everyone's life.
PS: As a bonus, I discovered this site linked to the Questlove one: The 90s Rap Name Generator! Mine's "Big M Da' Slim Pimp" - but you probably already knew that.