BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLIN!!!

OK: let's acknowledge the fact that I've been so lazy about this blog that I've let a good two months breeze by without a peep about my (not at all exciting) life - to the extent that I even forgot my blogiversary AGAIN.  I don't even have cupcakes laying around that I can pretend I baked in celebration (but daaaamn I wish I did.)  Well, OK, here's a photo of some cupcakes I baked four months ago because I was being a fatty and really wanted peanut butter cake with chocolate icing:

Yay fatty blog!  But what is there to say about six years anyway?  I mean, I was a pretty rad six-year-old (braid-ponytails-on-the-side and sparkly sweaters, whatwhat!), but in the grand scheme of life it's like, meh... six.  Maybe I'm just feeling cynical.  And still lazy.

(Oh, an aside about the word "lazy": I'm determined to reclaim it as a cool thing.  Remember when phones weren't smartphones and were just "cell phones?"  I know, those were crazy times, right?  And some people still have them!  Anyway: one of the best precursors to auto-correct was the T9 word function, where you would just furiously type away on the number pad and the phone would "know" which letters you meant to type.  My old phone was the best at this because every time I tried to type the word "lazy" it would default to "jazz" - resulting in sentences like "I'm too jazz to get off the couch" and "stop being such a jazz ass."  So much cooler, right?  So don't be lazy, be JAZZ.)

But let's get back to my life.  Yesterday was a crazy day: I had to work at 7am, there was a minor earthquake that got all of NYC's panties in a twist, AND - thanks to Kottke - I discovered this amazing website.   It's a collection of stories by Questlove, sorted by name, in which he recalls encounters with different celebrities, as requested by other readers.  What makes them so amazing is not just the way they are written (which is as if he typed directly from a dictation of himself), but the kind of crazy celebrity shenanigans he gets into.  And I'm not talking like, action movie buddy cop craziness, but over-the-top displays of money that must just seem totally normal once you hit a certain level on the star meter.  The story about Will Smith's leather-floored mansion tops everything, but rollerskating Prince (part of the Eddie Murphy story) is a close runner up.  I mean.... GOD. DAMN.

Questlove: please come to a Moth StorySlam.  It would be the best six minutes of everyone's life.

PS: As a bonus, I discovered this site linked to the Questlove one: The 90s Rap Name Generator!  Mine's "Big M Da' Slim Pimp" - but you probably already knew that.

Cameo Blue

I told myself I was going to compile a list of good film and theatre monologues so I could stop making excuses for avoiding auditions.  I ripped a piece of paper from a notepad, literally wrote "Monologues?" at the top, and set it on my desk.

I have since then been using it as a surface on which to paint my nails and protect my desk.

Yeah... that about sums up my life right now.

Let's procrastinate!

Looking for a great way to put off doing something productive and possibly expand your never-ending Netflix queue?  Watch 50 awesome opening title sequences!  This IFC list is proving to be a very effective way to avoid rewriting sketches right now.  I'm still working my way through, but so far #50 holds the most nostalgic place in my heart:



Makes me feel a little weird to know that Patricia Quinn was essentially in black face though. 

Please, please - hold your applause

 
OH HI.  Nice to see you again.

I've been trying to write a post for weeks now but couldn't seem to finish anything until tonight.  I know: how hard is it for me to blather some self-indulgent nonsense and hit publish?  Really not that hard.  I'm going to skip all the bullshit excuses though - sometimes I'm just uninspired and need a break.  Cool?  Cool.  So let's get back to things:

Here's what you need to know about my life since my last post:

- I actually got to see Jens Lekman!

I got a ticket at the last minute and it was so beautiful that I maybe got teary-eyed with joy.  OK, I was sleepy and full of Dayquil, but still - the show was in such an intimate space that I was only about ten feet away from Jens AND he played "Kanske är jag kär i dig," which is perhaps the best song in the world.  You should check out this Brooklyn Vegan post about the show because there are more great photos and I should cut down on the amount of Jens-obsessing I do here.

(Oh: but OF COURSE I bought one of these key necklaces.)
 
- I'm working a lot... although still not enough to stop me stealing money from my savings.  I'm either going to need to get a second part time job or quit the whole shebang and get another full time job.  Or I need to track down a rich philanthropist who wants to pay me to ghostwrite his/her blog while funding my European travels (fingers crossed for that one!).

- I'm writing and performing sketch comedy with my new group The Fantashticks.  Maybe someday we'll get our shit together and have a website!

- I celebrated Christmas by working nine hours on minimal sleep, somberly smoking a joint alone out my window, and then getting wasted on whiskey and cider.  Thanks, Santa, for the gift of reality!  Really though: it wasn't all that bad.  Andrea came to town (and got snowbound in my apartment) and a super awesome someone gave me a turntable(!!).

- My hair's getting pretty damn long.  I can't wait until it's long enough to recreate the gigantic side ponytail I had in my kindergarten class photo.

- I've been watching lots of Mr. Show.  Pit-Pat!

- I think Enter The Void was the best movie I saw in all of 2010.  Take THAT Black Swan! (Although... uh... I still haven't seen Black Swan.)  If you can still catch it somewhere on the big screen, do it, but schedule time for a long walk and a stiff drink after.

SO.  Yes.  Things are pretty swell right now.  I mean, sure: I'm dreading waking up at 6am tomorrow to go work for the man for nine hours and I'm also thinking it was probably a bad idea to drink that beer and then eat that ice cream and then do sit-ups right before bed but still... things have been worse.  I'm even working on a wintery iTunes playlist that's not full of Joy Division and Interpol!

Happy February, lovers.  It's good to be back.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: dreams do come true

On days when I am feeling directionless and questioning my life choices, I like to try and remember how far I've come.  Sure, I'm slowly eating through my savings account, spending late nights watching cartoons and drinking whiskey, and my bedroom is covered in piles of mail and clothing BUT at least I'm not still job searching, right??

And I'm thinking positively for Andrea, too.  Sure, it sucks that she spends most days hanging out with a toddler and her closet doesn't hold all of her clothes BUT at least she has an iPhone!  See?  Things aren't so bad, people!  Unless you're reading this over someone's shoulder in a Starbucks because you're homeless.  That is bad.

me:i'm pretty sure i'm not getting that BAM job and it's killing my spirit

andrea: why? did the interview go badly?

 me: not terribly, but i haven't heard a peep from them and the interview was last monday

 i have a feeling they think i'm underqualified

 andrea: underqualified?

  that's boo hockey

 me: ha! boo hockey!

  yeah, i guess, but i keep thinking of other things i could have thrown into the interview that i didn't

  poo

 i'm sure they're interviewing a ton of people though

 andrea: yeah, a week ago is not that long

 did they give you a time frame for hiring at all?

 me: they said as soon as possible

  and the original ad said mid-august :(

 andrea: lame

 everyone's lame

  were the two best people for everything and noone wants to help us

  everyone's a JERK

 me: i KNOW!

 jerkface america!

 andrea: jerkface WORLD

  i just want a place to LIVE

  I want a JOB

  i want the world to stop making me TYPE IN CAPS

me: HATE IT!andrea: ugh. i just want an iphone and some new boots

Actually, Andrea probably does still want some new boots.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: I'm drunk at Voooogue

I've had a lot of beers.  And I just made the the best improvised tofu-rancheros-inspired scramble ever.  And I'm still poor.  And I'm never getting off this couch.  Aaaaaand drug segue:

andrea: Dude, I woke up this morning with such a migraine I thought I might not be able to come this weekend

  It was draaaaaammmz

  But I'm all drugged up and i feel a babillion better now

  Boom

  Deugs

Drugs!

  Yes.

Oh and this:

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: Mancassins!

I have to write a commercial parody for my sketch class so I'm using it as an excuse to sit on my couch and watch lots of bad TV to "research."  I can't turn away from  NeNe on Real Housewives of Atlanta stoned out of her mind on pain meds recovering from a ton of plastic surgery.  HILARIOUS.  NeNe is my fave.  I mean, this is her NOT stoned on pain meds so you can only imagine the joy that is happening right now:

I watch way too much Real Housewives of anywhere.  I'd watch Real Housewives of Topeka if it was on right now.  Too bad Project Runway isn't still on Bravo.  If I were watching that I could at least pretend that I'm learning things about... patterns... and... socks.

andrea: i'm watching old epis of project runway in bed while joe mixes loudly

me: PRO RUN

  word

 andrea: proj ruuuuun

 me: why the hell did they move it off bravo??

  so sad

 andrea: have you ever seen the fashion show?

  which is bravo's desperate attempt to save themselves after selling proj run...

 me: yes

  snooorrrre

 andrea: i have NO IDEA. it has always been their best show

  yes!

  its sooooooo booooooring

  and awful

  and lame

 me: no one can compete with tim gunn and heidi

 andrea: especially not fucking isaac mizrahi

 he's such a caricature of himself its like he's probably not even gay

 me: i know!

 andrea: he probably goes home to his secret wife and kids and chops wood

and why doesn't he ever wear socks?

  what the hell dude?! socks are good

 me: he doesn't?

 andrea: he's always wearing mancassins with no socks

 me: i mean, i don't love socks, but his feet must stiiink

  MANCASSINS!

Maybe I CAN draw

I recently unearthed an old flash drive and found a couple gems that I can't resist shoving in your faces.

A long long time ago (late summer 2007, perhaps?), I had to go to an all-day payroll system training with my boss.  It was the kind of corporate drudgery that I hope I never again have to go through for any job.  I eventually took over the task of processing the weekly payroll, but it's amazing that I learned anything that day.  Not only did we have a nice beer lunch, but I spent most of the training session making Microsoft Paint drawings:

The first one especially is a nerdy, inside joke to other ADP PayExpert users, but hopefully you can at least appreciate my fine art skills.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: carrier pigeons are the new hover boards

If I had remembered it was Monday, I would have written this hours ago.  But instead I slept until 2:45pm, did some irresponsible shopping, and then got drunk on red wine and watched My Cousin Vinny.  Have I mentioned I'm pretty much unemployed?

andrea: oh my GAWD, go get me a sandwich

  PLEASE

 me: ok it's on it's way

  but i'm poor so i had to send it via carrier pigeon

  so... it might be soggy

  or.... eaten by the pigeon

 andrea: crappers

Livin' the dream

It's real.  It's my first day of being mostly-unemployed where I have absolutely nothing to do.  Actually my first "official" day as a free woman was last Friday and I celebrated by sleeping in and eventually eating a ginormous brunch at around 3pm while watching Working Girl on HBO.  Oh, the irony!

But today... it feels strange to have no plans.  Well, I do have some plans to go to a dance class and then maybe a UCB show tonight, but the daytime is wide open.  I'm realizing "oh yeah, this is that time I said I was going to use to find a new job."  Or at least "be productive." 

To my credit, I did get up at 9am and took a shower, put on real clothes, and got out of the house.  I went to the nearest Starbucks - mainly for free AC and wireless, but also so I could get "focused."  (I'm throwing a lot of quotation marks around, I know - imagine them as obnoxious air quotes.)

I came in with the intention of writing... stuff.  I was at least going to put together some stuff for the upcoming Moth slams, but I got halfway through a story and stalled.  So now I'm the cliche unemployed "artist" sitting in a New York City Starbucks with writer's block.  But blogging counts as productivity, right?

At least you can probably expect more blogging from me as I continue to procrastinate adult responsibilities.  And more of this:

Good god, someone please give me a writing assignment.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: Is there still enough summer left for fat camp?

Both my roommates have been gone for about a week and I've been using this home-alone time to be as obnoxious and slobby as possible: walking around without pants, singing bad opera in the shower, and loudly watching bad TV.  But mostly, I've been openly eating like CRAP.  Not like I think my roommates judge what I eat when they're here, but there's something about being alone in the apartment that makes it okay to eat pickles rolled up in Tofurkey slices over the sink and dip strawberries into leftover cupcake frosting.

The downside of this is that I'm going to need some serious Jillian Michaels treatment by the weekend.  Of course, it's so much easier to just laugh at the people on "The Biggest Loser" instead of actually working out:

andrea: there are SO MANY plugs on this show

  and they're gratuitous

 the trainer comes in and is all "HEY GUYS! how about some Jenni-o 99% fat free ground turkey?!! YAAAAAY!!!!"

 me: oh my god, yeah

 andrea: or they'll come in and be like "...you know what's awesome?...ziploc bags."

 me: and all the gum!

 andrea: yes!

 me: it's like "you don't need FOOD"

 andrea: extra sugar free!

 me: chew this entire pack of gum and cry!

 andrea: chew it you fatties!

  instead of food!

Too bad gum just makes me want more food.  Ah well, off to stuff a few more peanut-butter-covered cupcake pieces into my gullet before bedtime!  Mmmm.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: the cooking show edition

I just ran into my friend/neighbor/co-worker/partner-in-bad-pun-making Michael at the grocery store.  I surprised him by holding a jar of the finest salsa in front of his head until he looked at it.  Then we had a conversation that went something like this:

Me: "I need Drano and celery"

Michael: "I need water and beer"

Long pause...

Michael: "This is sad... OK bye!"

And then I went home to eat vegetables and hummus and salsa and Triscuits and beer (I bought more than I intended... damn impulse buys) which I am still consuming while listening to the amazing new Books album.  If only Andrea was online to make funnies and coach me through cooking something awesome, maybe I wouldn't be feeling like such a lazy butt right now.

andrea:

so i just went to this bbq and drank a bunch of jam wine

and now i'm soooo sleepy

  and its ten

  i rule

plus, i can't reach the lamp from my bed here, so i'm just here in the dark talking to you and watching weeds

 me: ha!

  i'm still listening to old mixtapes

  and about to cook a bunch of stuff for the week

  like... rice? i guess?

meh

 andrea: mix herbs in with it and make green rice!

  delicious

  cooking for the weekissmart

  i'm waaaaay too tired for that

me: it's more motivating when i'm the only one home and can blast music while i do it

andrea: yeah, i think my roommate is cookingfor the week right now actually

  roommatesmakeme uncomfortable

  iwantadog

and for my space bar to stop acting like an idiot

 me: ha!

  i just read that as if you were mumbling it really fast

also, you're a genius, i'm totally making cilantro-scallion rice

 andrea: boom

  doesn't that sound so much more exciting than regular rice?

  zesty!

me: totes

 andrea: squirt some lime juice in there

  ole!

me: oooh i actually have the end of a lime to use up!

 andrea: i am a genius

 me: also: what a good reason to have a shot of tequila!

 andrea: yes!

  teamwork!

  blue sky solutioneering!

 me: haaaa

ooops.... moldy lime :(

 andrea: lame!

  lame lime

  HA

 me: HAAAA i was just going to write that!

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: this just in!

I was totally about to post a real lazy, cop-out Widget and Sassoon about sending Andrea a sandwich via carrier pigeon, but then we had a better conversation right THIS very moment.  Eat it up:

andrea: too. much. real. housewives.

 me: clueless. on. HBO.

 andrea: oh MAN

  I WISH

  YOU WIN

  i'm so jealous

 me: it JUST started too, which means i'm never going to bed

  poor dead brittany murphy :(

 andrea: so mad

  oh shit, you just took it there

 me: yup

Also, I totally forgot Jeremy Sisto cameos in this as that creepster "snob-and-a-half" Elton!  What!

Yup.  Watching this all night and then waking up and wearing a headband.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: I also like Heinz baked beans, suckahs

I think a Marmite and cheese would actually be a lovely addition to this slightly-hungover, lying-on-the-couch-in-my-underwear, watching-Independence-Day-moment that I'm having.  Wash that down with your haterade, Dreaface!

 andrea: what's a marmite and cheese?

 molly: umm.... like the sandwich?

 or do you mean what's marmite and what's cheese?

 andrea: i think?

 molly: because if so, lady, you gotta put down the vaporizer

  (can you put down a vaporizer??)

  (SO TIRED)

 andrea: you can put down mine

 me too

  marmite and cheese, yes

  please define

 molly: i feel like i'm operating on a zombie level

 andrea: me too, i'm just lying here, too paralyzed by fatigue to walk the two blocks back to my house

 because Joe and Pat are sitting on the end of the bed playing video games

  until the end of time

  but now i need to know what a marmite and cheese is

 molly: i'm very tempted to have some coffee, but that might be bad

 andrea: because i read it in one of your old posts

  and all i can think about is vegemite and cheese

  and that sounds gross

  no coffee at 11:30

 BAD

 molly: that's pretty much it

 andrea: EW

 molly: marmite = brit vegemite

 andrea: WHY?

 molly: and it's GREAT

 andrea: why would anyone EAT that?

  no!!!!

 molly: behold the power of google: http://www.marmite.com/love/sarnies/

 andrea: i thought about goggling it, but then i thought i'd rather ask you

 molly: yay! i've trumped google!!

  take that, internet!!

andrea: ew, AND butter?

  gahhhh

  (the marmite page finally loaded)

molly: marmite is SO good on buttered toast

  you don't know what you're missing

 andrea: hee heee heee

  they have a hate version of their page

  that is guh-rate

Blah blah, America, blah blah, GERRY BAMMAN!

Yay, America, it's your birthday, let's drink beers and light things on fire!  Sure, I'm happy to have an extra-long weekend of lounging around in minimal clothing and eating grilled things, but I have more important news to share.

Last week I went to the opening of A Winter's Tale (half of this summer's Shakespeare in the Park) at the Delacorte and not only did I get a free tote bag and lots of beers, but GERRY BAMMAN was playing Antigonus!  Here he is on the right:

I know, you're thinking "Gerry Whothewhats??"  I wouldn't have recognized him just from his name, but the minute I heard him speak I realized it was fucking UNCLE FRANK.

Yes, the man who voiced Home Alone memorables like "If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses" and "It's real!  It's real crystal!  Put it in your purse" and of course:


I'm sure Gerry is a great guy in real life, but I gotta say, it was kinda fulfilling to see Antigonus get eaten by a bear (even if it was a giant shadow puppet).

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: CRAP I almost forgot

 
Yeah, I suck at this lately.  I don't know why we ever decided Mondays were perfect for this.  Or why I'm still doing it when Andrea quit long ago.  Anyway:

andrea: whatever happened to that schwartzman/galafinakis detective show?

 molly: i know the first season ended, but i haven't heard anything about a new season

  i hope it's coming back

 andrea: i only saw one episode

  i rule

  i do not rule, at job hunting however

  or being productive

 i do rule at reading blogs

  and drinking dranks

  and rambling

  evidently

 molly: DRANKS

  it's the spirit of friday

 andrea: hee hee!

  drinking sounds so much better of you growl the word "dranks" semi loudly when referring to it

 like, "yeah, I'm drinkin some DRANKS at 3 in the afternoon...WHAT OF IT?"

 molly: HAHAAA!

  that's it, that's the only way i'm ever referring to drinking

  even if it's a fancy wine tasting

 "why yes, this DRANK does have hints of cinnamon"

 andrea: that's right, you GET ON the drank train

  its fun on here

  every car is the bar car

 molly: oh, dreams

PS: Drea Drea and I drank a lot of dranks this weekend.  We also learned that we both need flasks in order to always have dranks on hand in case we are ever again stuck at the lamest wedding ever.  More whining to come... plus photos?  Let's see how motivated I get.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: gettin' old

That's right, I'm OLD.  At least, I sure felt old after unfolding myself from a four-hour bus ride from Boston to New York City this afternoon and hobbling into work.  My gimpy side was acting up and even though I limped around the office and kept yawning with exhaustion, they still made me open envelopes and take notes in meetings and stuff!  SHEESH.

But then I got home and went for a run, went grocery shopping, made dinner, and made a double batch of cookies.  And after I publish this here post I still have plans to wash dishes, paint my nails and watch awesome things on Hulu.  So I guess I'm not old, I just have work-induced laziness.  And insomnia.  Getting there...

molly: there is some kind of giant backyard party going on next door

  which would be ok, if it weren't TUESDAY

who does that on a tuesday?

  am i getting old?

 andrea: who does that on the tuesday after fucking memorial day weekend?

 molly: i guess it will be more annoying if it's still happening in 5 hours

  yeah, really

 andrea: seriously, haven't you partied enough?

 molly: right now it's mostly just annoying because i don't want to shut my windows and we're competing for music

andrea: that sucks

  people suck

  i mean, its not that late, but its tuesday, like for realsies

molly: right?

  if it is still happening in a few hours, i'm going to yell that out my window

 andrea: yes!

  i love that

 molly: "people, it's tuesday, like for realsies!"

 andrea: there were some cats having sex outside my window like a half an hour ago i think...

 molly: but i'll put curlers in my hair and put on a housecoat first

 andrea: i should've yelled at them

  yes!

 molly: yesssss ewwww that happens a lot here too

 andrea: and a green face mask

  I actually muted the tv and went over to the window all "what the crap?"

molly: yeah cause it sounds like babies dying

 andrea: i don't even know what to liken it to..

  it was upsetting

PS: If anyone can find me a link to the clip of Maya Rudolph's re-appearance as Whitney Houston on SNL this past Saturday, I will love you forever and buy you a drink or... something.  It is crucial to Andrea and mine's growing collection of videos to loudly re-enact on the subway.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: special skills

I am being a super duper multi-tasker tonight!  Not only am I writing this blog post, but I'm also watching Winter Olympics figure skating, trying to pick my next UCB class (holy shit my internship got extended!), and revising my Storytelling draft.

OK, actually, if I broke it down it's more like 75% writing this post, 15% picking a class, 8% watching figure skating (sequins!), and 2% revising (I don't even have the document open... I'm doing it in my head).

HEY!  You know who ELSE is a super multi-tasker?  Dreaface with her crazy spacephone!  (Nice transition huh?)  As much as I want to pretend I'm too cool to want an iPhone, I'm totally not.  Of course I want an iPhone.  I just know I can't handle it yet - monetarily or mentally.  I'm still excited about the fact that my current phone has a camera.  But if/when I do get one, I sure won't do this:

• 10/1/09 - 10:32am

 andrea: biking to the gym, i'll be back on when i get there

 molly: you're gonna gchat while you work out?? puh-lease

11 minutes

 andrea: HE'LL YES I am!

 I'm totally chatting and watching indomercials while I ellipticise

 molly: you're THAT girl

 what's an indomercial?

 andrea: Infomercial

  Which girl? Texty girl?

 molly: girl who uses her phone while ellipticising

  at least you're not talking on it though

 andrea: No, I would never

 molly: actually, i meant you're marlo thomas from that '70s tv show

  THAT GIIIIIIIRL

 andrea: Whatever man, I didn't get the iPhone so I could NOT text while I workout

molly: whateverzzz

OK FINE

It's about 5pm on New Year's Eve and I still have no idea what I'm doing tonight.  I'm slightly sick, very broke, and feeling disgruntled about every outfit I own so going "out" is slowly being crossed off the list.  It's looking like I'll either be headed to my bud Rebecca's parents' loft to drink and slide around the floor in my socks or staying here to drink and... not wear socks.  I'm edging toward Rebecca's parents' place if only because it will ensure that I take a shower and change out of gym clothes.

I keep trying to make some "Best Of" lists, but I really suck at it.  Instead, I'll leave you with some self-centered, stream-of-consciousness thoughts about my decade and my year.  Deal with it.

THOUGHTS ABOUT THE DECADE (aka THE OHs) (aka THE AUGHTS):
- The end of high school.  Did I ever mention that my prom theme was "2001: A Space Odyssey"?  And that it was under a circus tent and there was popcorn and cotton candy?  What the crap was that about?
- I miss college dining halls because you could eat frozen yogurt and Froot Loops for breakfast and your mom couldn't care.
- I was a big dork about Brecht for a long while.

I still kinda am.
- Going to Prague for a semester was the best decision ever.  I discovered gin & tonic, Egon Schiele,

Viennese coffee, and Daft Punk.  And it's a nice pretentious thing to throw into conversations.
- I used to live in a giant house on Fletcher Place in Burlington, VT that we called "Sketcher Fletcher." It was freezing and usually dirty.
- Summer theatre jobs = mostly slave labor.
- Living in London for six months is tied as "best decision ever." I would move back there in a heartbeat.
- I've only lived in NYC for about 2.7 years and I've already lived in three different boroughs.
- Discovering UCB and the people within it has been the perfect boost I needed to make me feel like I finally belong in this city.
- I can't listen to Pretty & Nice and not dance.

- I'm so glad I started listening to David Bowie.

THOUGHTS ABOUT THE YEAR 2009:
- Thank all the gods and all the stars that I no longer live in Brooklyn with crazypants.
- Blonde Redhead is never quite as good live as you want them to be.
- Biking in Astoria really isn't so terrifying.  Manhattan probably is though.
- I have so many un-listened-to podcasts and so little time.
- I will never stop loving the Dooce.
- Long-form improv is probably not as hard as my brain is trying to make it.
- Deerhoof and Ted Leo are always good live.

- I am turning into a horrible compulsive shopper.
- Hip hop class always makes me feel better.
- Oh my gosh, beets and radishes are actually pretty tasty!
- I'm so glad I still listen to David Bowie (every day).

Just a heads up, I'm totally going to refer to 2010 as "oh ten." Don't try and correct me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: THE END (of the year... and the decade... and a bunch of celebs)

Well look at that: last Monday of the year.  Of the decade.  Of the "aughts" if you wanna be all trendy about it.  The blogs are abuzz with these "Best Of" and "End of an Era" lists and while in theory I'd like to make a list or two, in reality I'm a lazy ass.  I just got off an extra-long Bolt Bus ride from Boston back to NYC and bus rides are like a free pass for being super lazy all day.  Sure, I spent most of it napping and reading The Glass Castle (which is awesome so far, by the way) but, you guys, in order to pee I had to balance myself in a wobbly closet and we didn't stop for a break so I had to eat clementines and Christmas cookies for lunch!  Gaahhhhhhd.  So unfaaaaaaair.

Anyway.  End of the year and stuff.

What strikes me the most about 2009 is the amount of big name celebrities who died.  What's in your water, Hollywood?? Damn.  The fact that Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died on the SAME DAY is crazy enough.  Andrea and I have our own theories about what really went down with MJ:

• 6/27/09 - 11:57pm
  

andrea: everyone's posting on the jackson slaying

  the universe slayed him

  he was called home by the mothership

 molly: slaying??

  ok, yeah

 andrea: "enough." it said

 molly: yeah, it said "whoa, whoa, your face is not even a face, you've got a lot of sweet singles, some box sets, some dance moves - why not quit while you're ahead?"

 andrea: HAHAHAHA

 molly: "also, michael - we have unicorns here"

  SOLD

 andrea: and he jumped right out of his own saggy alien skin

 molly: ack!

 andrea: right

 molly: maybe the coroners found his skin!

 andrea: aaaaaagh!

Totally plausible.

I'm on vacation this week so maybe I'll get my own little "Best Of" lists together while I avoid doing laundry and writing cover letters.  Uhhh... after I go to the gym and work off these cookie thighs.  And after I finish watching season three of "Mad Men."  So... maybe never.