Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I've been getting allergy shots for a really long time now. OK, by "really long time" I mean about a year and a half. It just feels like it's been going on forevvvvver. My body is apparently taking a long time to build up a solid defense to the things I'm allergic to, specifically dust mites and cats. It weirds me out a little to get the allergy itself injected into my arm, but I guess that's the only way.
Besides the fun of having an excuse to get out of my office is the fun of chatting with my crazy allergist. I won't give you his full name for fear that you will steal him away from me and learn to do better impressions of him than me, so for now he'll just be Dr. M. Here's a sample conversation that we had today:
Dr. M: "How was your last shot?"
Me: "OK. Well, actually my eyelid swelled up again. [For real - this actually happens pretty frequently] Why is that? Is it because it's near my sinuses?"
Dr. M: "No."
There is a long silence. I can't tell if he's prepping the shot or just pausing for drama. Then he whips around and looks at me all serious:
Dr. M: "Your cells have something called a 'sensory memory.' When your body is under attack, your cells can react in unpredictable ways. I don't like that. I'm lowering your dosage."
Me: "Oh... that's uh... interesting."
Dr. M: "No, it's not interesting, it's WEIRD."
You said it, Doc.
He is just full to the brim with dramatic moments. Sometimes he's lecturing me on how to do my taxes and other times he's muttering about these kids today and their iPod phones. He's like that uncle you getting cornered into talking to at family gatherings and suddenly you've been talking about how wind-up watches are better than battery watches for like 25 minutes and all you can think about is how he's blocking your access to the hummus.