Monday, December 07, 2009

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: I'm dying. (Maybe.) (Probably not.)

I am a baaaad hypochondriac.  Or, rather, a good hypochodriac?  I'm good at being a hypochondriac in a baaaad way - get it?  Basically, on any given day, I can surely describe to you a number of diseases that I have based on self diagnosis (with the help of Google).  Brain tumors, breast cancer, heart attack, aneurysm - I'm always on the verge of something.  Usually this paranoia is fleeting, but sometimes I need Andrea to talk me down:
  • 3/26/08 - 11:54am
molly: i'm in hypochondria mode and i need you to convince me that i don't have laryngeal papillomatosis
 andrea: what the hell is that?
  that's not even a thing
 molly: it is! it is! it's what happening because my larynx is swelling up with disease!
 after that you should read this:
 andrea: no.
  you don't have that
  you have a sore throat
 molly: but it's swelling up with... tumor things
 andrea: no. it isn't.
  you're a lunatic.
 molly: true
 andrea: you do not have tumors!
i have to go to the store, don't you go tumoring it up all over town.
molly: fiiiiiine

By the way, Fireland will cure anything that ails you.  Or... at least distract you from your impulses to Google "deviated septum death."  (Ohhhhh god, maybe don't do that.)

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