London calling

Right now I just want to get to London so I can eat lots of McVities biscuits. Is it sad if that's my primary reason? Yes...yes it is.

Actually, I'm just too freaked out to face any of the other realities of going...

...

"And so I went through the looking glass, stepped into the netherworld, where up is down and food is greed, where convex mirrors cover the walls, where death is honor and flesh is weak. It is ever so easy to go. Harder to find your way back."

-Marya Hornbacher, Wasted

Because I can't always have my cake and eat it too.

cupcakes

I am still having some insane urges to make cupcakes. I don't know why ... I suppose they're just such a pleasing thing to make. Because I don't know if I actually want to eat them as much as I want to bake them and frost them in pretty pastel colors and say "look at my cute little pastel cupcakes!!" But I'd probably eat them all anyway, which is why I can't let myself make them. Maybe I can give some to the mailman.

Love on a stick

I am so glad that The Amateur Gourmet shares the same love for the strawberry shortcake Good Humor bar that I do. I just had one but, sadly, it did not come from an ice cream truck. And since I downed a bunch of coffee right before I had it, I think my stomach is going to explode. LOOK OUT! FATTY-DAIRY-CAFFIENE EXPLOSION!! RWARRR! Apparently I have a ton of sugar surging through my system as well.

But back to ice cream: my dream job #498792 is to drive an ice cream truck. How cool would that be?? I would play much cooler music though...none of that twinkly twinkly music box crap. Maybe some Belle & Sebastian, Mark Mothersbaugh, and The Mamas & The Papas....yes sweet sweet music and strawberry shortcake bars.

sugar headache

And now I just had ice cream for lunch-dinner-something. It was mint chocolate chip and lovely. Let's pretend that this is me eating it:

Oh, if only I had such poise and perfect hair while eating ice cream. Alas. But I did sit in the sun reading Nietzsche while eating and that must have looked impressive.

Wow, I really need to go back home to the Land of Health Food so I'll be forced to stop eating crap all day.

I love other people's birthdays

I ate chocolate birthday cake for breakfast today. Yummm! I wish there was leftover cake waiting in the kitchen for me every day.

creeeeemeeeee

I went to Al's for the first time last night...don't know how I missed out on that for the past four years. But I didn't even get french fries (or frys, rather) because I had to get SOFT SERVE (aka creemees, if you're weird like that)!!

I wish I had a digital camera to share the beauty of my soft serve, but you'll just have to imagine it. Vanilla with crushed Reese's Pieces....mmmmm heavenly.

It would make a great t-shirt

I was just reading about Cary Grant on imdb and found this amazing piece of trivia:

He once phoned hotel mogul Conrad Hilton in Istanbul, Turkey, to find out why his breakfast order at the Plaza Hotel, which called for muffins, came with only one and a half English muffins instead of two. When Grant insisted that the explanation (a hotel efficiency report had found that most people ate only three of the four halves brought to them) still resulted in a gyp, the Plaza Hotel changed its policy and began serving two complete muffins with breakfast. From then on, Grant often spoke of forming an English Muffin-Lovers Society, members of which would be required to report any hotel or restaurant that listed muffins on the menu and then served fewer than two.

Amazing! That's it, I'm totally starting an English Muffin-Lovers Society. We could sit around toasting them and talking about our love for specialty jams and cinnamon sugars. Maybe even have little English Muffin hats. Wow.

Ugh

And no, not even a chocolate cookie will make a sickly, hungover stomach feel better ... baaaaaad choice ...

Oy

Being hungover at work is not a good idea. I don't have the patience to even construct full sentences with customers. I wish I had an endless jug of coffee to drink alternately with an endless jug of water.

I also wish I had some gum to chew so I would stop chewing my nails. They do not look so great anymore...oops.

In other news...

I forgot to add: I've been having this obsession with making flan. I've never made it or tasted it before but it's so fascinating to me. Is it a pudding? Is it like cheaper creme brulee? At least it's fun to say. FLAN.

Frozen?

I've been trying to make my chocolate last longer by putting it in the freezer - both halting the melting process and forcing me to take more time in eating it. This only works in an ideal world. I just bought two dark chocolate covered graham crackers and they didn't even make it to the freezer. They made it straight into my mouth. Mmmmm tasty.

Hey, but if I combine that with the garlic broccoli I just ate I can call it a balanced lunch! Right? Right?? Riiiiiiiiight.

The best sugar of all

My latest obsession is eating powdered sugar mixed with the tiniest bit of vanilla extract and milk. It's like instant frosting. But in the process of mixing it I always tend to spill sugar all over me and then I'm marked with the guilty sign of a sugar stealer. How unprofessional.