Monday, November 23, 2009

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: OH MY GOD IT'S ONLY MONDAY

Today at work I did all the payroll at once. It's usually a two-day process, but because of this dang Thanksgiving holiday week I had to condense it into one day.  Which meant roughly 8.5 hours of squinting at color-coded spreadsheets and small drop-down menus on the online payroll system. Oh, and the payroll system repeatedly crashed and got soooooo slooooowww because surely every other administrative slave in New York was trying to do the same thing. Puke.

It made me think about my dream job: Professional Awesome Person.  I can't seem to figure out what to do with my life, so why not just be Professionally Awesome, right?  I'm pretty sure the job would primarily involve making  iTunes playlists, baking cookies, rating movies on Netflix, high-fiving old people, and eating tortilla chips.  Actually... this is starting to sound like Naive Unemployed Person.  Hmm.

Either way, I've already got my business cards planned:
  • 4/17/09 - 11:58pm
molly: i want to get new moo cards that say "molly cameron - the shit"
  because i'm so modest
 andrea: i almost just choked on my lunch when i read that
  that's the raddest thing ever
  do it
molly: i'm a genius
  and each one will have a photo of me on the front in a karate pose
 or wearing sunglasses looking all cool
  or yelling with a beer in my hand
andrea: you sound like the female version of the guy from eastbound and down
 molly: HAAA yes
  even though i've never seen a full episode, i totally know what you mean
  i'll need to get some sweatbands
 andrea: HELL YES
  you should watch it
  its gold
molly: also: look at this:
 andrea: holy wow
 molly: yup

I guess I'll just keep making fun of hipsters until those dreams come true.  Feel free to drop me a line if you'd got a bunch of money you'd like to invest in my small business.

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