Monday, March 22, 2010

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: career opportunities

 I think I've reached the peak of quarter life crisis.   I just opened an IRA today (!!) and the fact that I am planning for the days when I will be a sassy old lady is sorta mind-boggling.  I mean, I now have a brokerage account and yet the windows in my bedroom are covered with tapestries being held up by thumbtacks because the thought of sizing and buying and installing blinds is too much for me.  Yeesh.

And of course I still don't know what I'm doing with my life, other than sneakily blogging while pretending to organize files.  Maybe I should have a dance party and invite rich moms and their babies and call it "learning."

 andrea: You'll never guess where I am right now
 molly: ummmmmmm
  a holiday inn breakfast buffet?
  a canoe?
 andrea: I'm at a baby class for bou-gie moms
 Seriously, I'm gonna kill myself
  I hate my job
 molly: baby yoga?
  i hate mine too
 i want nothing more than to go to the gym and then go home and watch bad movies and drink red wine and make pumpkin cookies
 andrea: Oh no, this is ANOTHER baby class
 molly: good god
 andrea: Because one wasn't enough
 molly: what could babies possibly be learning??
 andrea: Oh my god! I would KILL for that day right now
  Well right now they're learning to pop bubbles
  I guess
 molly: wow
  what a skill
parents PAY for that shit?
  i need to start teaching bougie baby classes
 andrea: You have no idea
 This woman seems like she does a few lines in the changing room and then sucks down some helium before she does this
  You have to be willing to make the necessary sacrifices

I think could deal with some coke and helium if it means I get to blow bubbles in toddlers' faces all day. 


Needs Coffee To Live said...

I've noticed a lot of parents PAY money to basicly teach they're children how to play and call it's quite sickening.

RavenMcCoy said...

So... I *could* rake in the bucks by inviting rich parents to a dance party with lots of shiny things as long as I set up some diaper-changing stations and a table of juiceboxes? Ideas are a-brewing...

Needs Coffee To Live said...

Pretty much. Just make sure the shiny things aren't sharp. And lots of primary colors and things that could be thought of as 'cultural'. You can charge extra for culture.