The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: career opportunities

 I think I've reached the peak of quarter life crisis.   I just opened an IRA today (!!) and the fact that I am planning for the days when I will be a sassy old lady is sorta mind-boggling.  I mean, I now have a brokerage account and yet the windows in my bedroom are covered with tapestries being held up by thumbtacks because the thought of sizing and buying and installing blinds is too much for me.  Yeesh.

And of course I still don't know what I'm doing with my life, other than sneakily blogging while pretending to organize files.  Maybe I should have a dance party and invite rich moms and their babies and call it "learning."

 andrea: You'll never guess where I am right now

 molly: ummmmmmm

  a holiday inn breakfast buffet?

  a canoe?

  india?

 andrea: I'm at a baby class for bou-gie moms

  Unreal

 Seriously, I'm gonna kill myself

  I hate my job

 molly: baby yoga?

  i hate mine too

 i want nothing more than to go to the gym and then go home and watch bad movies and drink red wine and make pumpkin cookies

 andrea: Oh no, this is ANOTHER baby class

 molly: good god

 andrea: Because one wasn't enough

 molly: what could babies possibly be learning??

 andrea: Oh my god! I would KILL for that day right now

  Well right now they're learning to pop bubbles

  I guess

 molly: wow

  what a skill

parents PAY for that shit?

  i need to start teaching bougie baby classes

 andrea: You have no idea

 This woman seems like she does a few lines in the changing room and then sucks down some helium before she does this

  You have to be willing to make the necessary sacrifices

 

I think could deal with some coke and helium if it means I get to blow bubbles in toddlers' faces all day.