The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: the good old days

I stayed home from work today in an attempt to really concentrate on a search for a job that doesn't make me want to hide in the stairwell all day.  So far I sent out three resumes.  And did laundry.  And watched Andy Kaufman videos.  And ate peanut butter from the jar.  And went to a hip hop class.  Productive, right?

I suppose I didn't used to hate my job so much, but things used to be more... well... relaxed.

• 2/1/08 - 5:35pm

andrea: i'm far too restless for my own good. thank god next week is a busy one

 molly: i already want a vay cay again

 andrea: i don't

  i want to be uber busy

  what the hell happened to uber busy?

 molly: graduation

 andrea: dammit all

  i was busy after that

 i want a million dollars

  and a nice dinner

  and a martini

  right now.

 molly: me too

  but... oooh... the boss is taking out the emergency tequila

  things are looking better

Welllllll, back into it tomorrow I guess.  Someone send me some blogs to read.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: OH MY GOD IT'S ONLY MONDAY

Today at work I did all the payroll at once. It's usually a two-day process, but because of this dang Thanksgiving holiday week I had to condense it into one day.  Which meant roughly 8.5 hours of squinting at color-coded spreadsheets and small drop-down menus on the online payroll system. Oh, and the payroll system repeatedly crashed and got soooooo slooooowww because surely every other administrative slave in New York was trying to do the same thing. Puke.

It made me think about my dream job: Professional Awesome Person.  I can't seem to figure out what to do with my life, so why not just be Professionally Awesome, right?  I'm pretty sure the job would primarily involve making  iTunes playlists, baking cookies, rating movies on Netflix, high-fiving old people, and eating tortilla chips.  Actually... this is starting to sound like Naive Unemployed Person.  Hmm.

Either way, I've already got my business cards planned:

• 4/17/09 - 11:58pm
  

molly: i want to get new moo cards that say "molly cameron - the shit"

  because i'm so modest

 andrea: i almost just choked on my lunch when i read that

  that's the raddest thing ever

  do it

molly: i'm a genius

  and each one will have a photo of me on the front in a karate pose

 or wearing sunglasses looking all cool

  or yelling with a beer in my hand

andrea: you sound like the female version of the guy from eastbound and down

  HA

 molly: HAAA yes

  even though i've never seen a full episode, i totally know what you mean

  i'll need to get some sweatbands

 andrea: HELL YES

  you should watch it

  its gold

molly: also: look at this: http://lookatthisfuckinghipster.tumblr.com/

  HA

 andrea: holy wow

 molly: yup

I guess I'll just keep making fun of hipsters until those dreams come true.  Feel free to drop me a line if you'd got a bunch of money you'd like to invest in my small business.

I need to invest in some liquid mascara

After my post on Monday night I crawled into bed with my computer and kept watching God Help The Girl videos.  I am in love with this whole album.  I've always loved Belle & Sebastian and this is Stuart Murdoch's sort-of-spin-off.  "Belle & Sebastian: The New Class," if you will.

I watched this video three times in a row.  Brittany Stallings is so charming and has such a great, soulful voice and makes me want to crawl into that world for awhile.  I also want everyone's outfit.  (Duh).

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: worst day ever

This has been the worst day of work I've had in a long long time.  I work for a theatre company/conservatory and we had a fancy-schmancy VIP reading of a musical tonight, meaning everyone was pissing their pants about crazy shit like programs and seating charts and paychecks for 11 hours as if the world was ending.  Oh, did I mention we're also in the crunch time of an audit?  And people sing and dance in the halls? And that sometimes I go to the bathroom just so I can lightly bang my head against the door?  True stories. 

I really wanted to hide in the bathroom all day but had to be all kind and patient because I need a paycheck.  Low moments of my day/night included (but were not limited to):

- Waking up with the awful beginnings of a cold (sore throat, head, body)
- An endless dance class with loud percussion in the room next door
- Rearranging the 73-person VIP seating chart in five minutes
- Getting coffee for Mr. Special Lyricist Man while I was supposed to be simultaneously placing signs for said seating chart and opening the box office
- Crying at my desk

I'd be ashamed of the crying-at-my-desk part if it hadn't been so well-earned.  Today was a shit storm.

Which of course means that - despite being sick - I definitely had 3 or so glasses of wine in the VIP room as soon as that show was rolling.  And some fancy crudites.

Now I'm home eating cookies and still feeling sickly and exhausted, but at least I made it through, right?  I'm tempted to dip into the Becherovka too (hey thanks Dave!), but that puts me about two seconds away from being this tomorrow:

• 5/13/09 - 9:32am
  

andrea: hey, you know what's NOT good idea?

 drinking a bottle of wine, and then going out to the bar

  on a tuesday

 molly: uh oh

  someone needs some hashbrowns....

 andrea: i do

 or cheezits and nestea 

Yeah.  Maybe just Nyquil.  And this:

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: YOU grow up!

I like to describe my fashion sense as kindergarten-meets-Golden Girls.  In theory, that would meet somewhere in middle age and I would dress all Ann Taylor-y, but I don't.  In reality, it means that I wear a lot of jersey dresses and tights and fake pearls and ugly sweaters and things with pockets.  I am probably a prime candidate for "What Not To Wear," although I would cry when they threw all my stuff in the trashcan. 

• 2/14/08 -1:41pm

molly: is it bad that lately i've been wanting nearly everything in the window of gap kids?

 andrea: no, you're stepping up from Old Navy Kids

  your growing!

 molly: it's true!

  go me!

  gap kids has some awesome looking raincoats though and i keep wondering if i can fit an xxl or something

 andrea: i need a new cheeky beret and I don't know where to get one. possibly the gap...

 molly: gap kids!

  it's in the window!

The obsession never ends.  Have you seen the Stella McCartney stuff at Gap Kids right now? 

WhatwhatWHAT?? Holy shit I need a pink poncho and a sweater dress!!!  And ducklings!!!  STELLAAAAAA!!

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: thank you, Netflix Instant

I am completely addicted to "Dexter."  I added it to my Netflix queue on a whim and then got all wrapped up in it, especially at the end of the first season.  Whoa! The plot twists!  And THEN, lo and behold, it's available to watch instantly on Netflix.  Why have I not embraced this feature until now??  I can watch episode after episode without having to go anywhere or build a semblance of a social life!

So I'm currently only on season two, but already I'm sucked in.  Oh Michael C. Hall, you've won me over with your creepy emotionless charm!  I loved him on "Six Feet Under," which is why I thought to watch "Dexter" in the first place.  "Six Feet Under" was my Netflix obsession last year and sometimes I miss not knowing what was in store for those Fishers and Chenoweths.  Andrea is just as passionate about it as I am and, as you can tell, sometimes we forget they're not real people.

*SPOILER ALERT* Spoilers. They are here.  Maybe don't read this chat if you haven't seen any "Six Feet Under" and would like to block out all plot exposition until you watch it beginning to end (as you should).

• 10/31/08 - 1:29pm

andrea: did you just watch that episode where claire is at work?

 molly: six feet under?

  no i just finished disc two

  nate's 40th birthday

and claire is just smoking weed 24/7

andrea: wow, so much happens in every season

  they really pack it in

  that's where he freaks out on that bird

 molly: YES

  so scary

 like a flashback to when he kills that snake

  actually the last episode i saw was the one right after that where he's finally nice and he and brenda explain the whole two mommy thing to maya

heartwarming

  which is good because nate saved me from hating him

  he's on the edge of being a complete douche

andrea: he's such a whiner

  nothing is ever good enough for him

  oh no I hate my life, i don't want to be a funeral director

  oh no brenda's mean to me, i hate her brother

  oh no I married lisa and i hate her!

  oh no lisa's dead! but i loved her!

 oh no, i'm with brenda again!

  waaaaaaaa!

 molly: I KNOWWWW

  so annoying

  and yet, each episode i manage to still feel bad for him

  but lately i've been feeling more for brenda

 she used to be a complete mess and know that she's finally pulled it together everyone dumps on her

 andrea: yeah, she's definitely doing better

molly: oh man... if i only i put so much energy into caring about real people...

  no one has such dramatic lives, i suppose

 andrea: its true

  our friends need to step it up

molly: yeah, and start having sex addictions and drug dealer friends

 andrea: yeah, what the eff?

Speaking of death and serial killers and blood, Halloween was bananas. I was a zombie camp counselor and I drank a lot of vodka and kept dropping things (umbrella, phone, beer bottles).  Thanks, Andrea, for helping me pick things up (like my brain).

I still need to be Liza and/or Suri someday, but I was down to the wire and really wanted to use fake blood.

BRAAIIINNNS!!