OK FINE

It's about 5pm on New Year's Eve and I still have no idea what I'm doing tonight.  I'm slightly sick, very broke, and feeling disgruntled about every outfit I own so going "out" is slowly being crossed off the list.  It's looking like I'll either be headed to my bud Rebecca's parents' loft to drink and slide around the floor in my socks or staying here to drink and... not wear socks.  I'm edging toward Rebecca's parents' place if only because it will ensure that I take a shower and change out of gym clothes.

I keep trying to make some "Best Of" lists, but I really suck at it.  Instead, I'll leave you with some self-centered, stream-of-consciousness thoughts about my decade and my year.  Deal with it.

THOUGHTS ABOUT THE DECADE (aka THE OHs) (aka THE AUGHTS):
- The end of high school.  Did I ever mention that my prom theme was "2001: A Space Odyssey"?  And that it was under a circus tent and there was popcorn and cotton candy?  What the crap was that about?
- I miss college dining halls because you could eat frozen yogurt and Froot Loops for breakfast and your mom couldn't care.
- I was a big dork about Brecht for a long while.

I still kinda am.
- Going to Prague for a semester was the best decision ever.  I discovered gin & tonic, Egon Schiele,

Viennese coffee, and Daft Punk.  And it's a nice pretentious thing to throw into conversations.
- I used to live in a giant house on Fletcher Place in Burlington, VT that we called "Sketcher Fletcher." It was freezing and usually dirty.
- Summer theatre jobs = mostly slave labor.
- Living in London for six months is tied as "best decision ever." I would move back there in a heartbeat.
- I've only lived in NYC for about 2.7 years and I've already lived in three different boroughs.
- Discovering UCB and the people within it has been the perfect boost I needed to make me feel like I finally belong in this city.
- I can't listen to Pretty & Nice and not dance.

- I'm so glad I started listening to David Bowie.

THOUGHTS ABOUT THE YEAR 2009:
- Thank all the gods and all the stars that I no longer live in Brooklyn with crazypants.
- Blonde Redhead is never quite as good live as you want them to be.
- Biking in Astoria really isn't so terrifying.  Manhattan probably is though.
- I have so many un-listened-to podcasts and so little time.
- I will never stop loving the Dooce.
- Long-form improv is probably not as hard as my brain is trying to make it.
- Deerhoof and Ted Leo are always good live.

- I am turning into a horrible compulsive shopper.
- Hip hop class always makes me feel better.
- Oh my gosh, beets and radishes are actually pretty tasty!
- I'm so glad I still listen to David Bowie (every day).

Just a heads up, I'm totally going to refer to 2010 as "oh ten." Don't try and correct me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: THE END (of the year... and the decade... and a bunch of celebs)

Well look at that: last Monday of the year.  Of the decade.  Of the "aughts" if you wanna be all trendy about it.  The blogs are abuzz with these "Best Of" and "End of an Era" lists and while in theory I'd like to make a list or two, in reality I'm a lazy ass.  I just got off an extra-long Bolt Bus ride from Boston back to NYC and bus rides are like a free pass for being super lazy all day.  Sure, I spent most of it napping and reading The Glass Castle (which is awesome so far, by the way) but, you guys, in order to pee I had to balance myself in a wobbly closet and we didn't stop for a break so I had to eat clementines and Christmas cookies for lunch!  Gaahhhhhhd.  So unfaaaaaaair.

Anyway.  End of the year and stuff.

What strikes me the most about 2009 is the amount of big name celebrities who died.  What's in your water, Hollywood?? Damn.  The fact that Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died on the SAME DAY is crazy enough.  Andrea and I have our own theories about what really went down with MJ:

• 6/27/09 - 11:57pm
  

andrea: everyone's posting on the jackson slaying

  the universe slayed him

  he was called home by the mothership

 molly: slaying??

  ok, yeah

 andrea: "enough." it said

 molly: yeah, it said "whoa, whoa, your face is not even a face, you've got a lot of sweet singles, some box sets, some dance moves - why not quit while you're ahead?"

 andrea: HAHAHAHA

 molly: "also, michael - we have unicorns here"

  SOLD

 andrea: and he jumped right out of his own saggy alien skin

 molly: ack!

 andrea: right

 molly: maybe the coroners found his skin!

 andrea: aaaaaagh!

Totally plausible.

I'm on vacation this week so maybe I'll get my own little "Best Of" lists together while I avoid doing laundry and writing cover letters.  Uhhh... after I go to the gym and work off these cookie thighs.  And after I finish watching season three of "Mad Men."  So... maybe never.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: holidazzze

It is so spectacularly stupendous to be on vacation.  I was actually pretty productive today, but I'm taking an 11am bus home tomorrow and have not packed anything at all.  Instead I'm getting far too emotionally involved in Access Hollywood's coverage of Brittany Murphy's death (holy celebrity death year, 2009!) and eating tons of kettlecorn.  Once my roommates get home we're having our own mini Christmas with boozing and bonding.  Look at our Charlie-Brown-ish tree (in horrible Macbook camera lighting):

Awwww, cute.  The best part is that we actually have SNOW!  I ran around in it on Saturday night (during a Home Alone party!), but sadly it's already turned into dirty puddles.  Nothing fun about it once your socks get wet.

• 12/17/08 - 11:51am

molly: is it raining there?

 andrea: wintry mix

  ugh

 molly: i love that term "wintry mix"

  it makes me think that chex mix should be falling from the sky

 andrea: i hate it

  because it sounds fun

 molly: or candy canes and mittens

 andrea: exactly, but in reality, its awful
Hopefully things will be more festive in New Hampshire - at least there will be amazing Christmas vinyl to listen to!  Shake it, Herb!

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: countdown to vacation

I only have 4.5 more days of work to get through and then it's TWO! WEEKS! OFF!  Yeah, roughly 6 days of that will be happy holiday family fun time, but the rest of it will be spent catching up with "Dexter" and cutting up magazines and baking things.  So exciting!  The closer I get, the harder it is to be patient.

• 6/18/09 - 9:47am

 molly: i've decided to take next thursday and friday off and my heart is already palpitating with excitement

 andrea: oh wow

  do you have the plans

molly: was that a question? like, did i get the secret plans? the treasure map you mailed me?

  yes

  yes i did

 the getaway car has been arranged

 andrea: good

 i got the elaborate costumes

 molly: phew

  and the rope? we're gonna need a LOT of rope

  and by rope i of course mean nerds rope

 for my low blood sugar

 andrea: i robbed the wonka factory dude

  we're all set

 molly: man we're gonna ROCK this rodeo!

I'd like to be under the sea

I don't quite know what this octopus is doing with that coconut shell, but I can't stop watching it.  It's creepy and fascinating all at once.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: I'm dying. (Maybe.) (Probably not.)

I am a baaaad hypochondriac.  Or, rather, a good hypochodriac?  I'm good at being a hypochondriac in a baaaad way - get it?  Basically, on any given day, I can surely describe to you a number of diseases that I have based on self diagnosis (with the help of Google).  Brain tumors, breast cancer, heart attack, aneurysm - I'm always on the verge of something.  Usually this paranoia is fleeting, but sometimes I need Andrea to talk me down:

• 3/26/08 - 11:54am

molly: i'm in hypochondria mode and i need you to convince me that i don't have laryngeal papillomatosis

 andrea: what the hell is that?

  that's not even a thing

 molly: it is! it is! it's what happening because my larynx is swelling up with disease!

http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/voice/laryngeal.asp

 after that you should read this: http://twitter.com/fireland

 andrea: no.

  you don't have that

  you have a sore throat

 molly: but it's swelling up with... tumor things

 andrea: no. it isn't.

  you're a lunatic.

 molly: true

  but

  tumors....

 andrea: you do not have tumors!

  not.

  no.

  nein

  NON.

i have to go to the store, don't you go tumoring it up all over town.

molly: fiiiiiine

By the way, Fireland will cure anything that ails you.  Or... at least distract you from your impulses to Google "deviated septum death."  (Ohhhhh god, maybe don't do that.)

Sashay on the boardwalk, scurry to the ditch

Holy crap! Everyone drop your Saturday night plans and come to this with me:

BOWIEBALL NYC!!!

It doesn't look like I can realistically go, but I'm still dreaming about it.  I have an improv show that night that probably won't be done until about 12:30 and I can't think of anyone who would glam up and come with me.

I'm tempted to go alone covered in sequins, if only to witness stuff like this firsthand:

Damn.  Maybe I just need to throw a Bowie theme party.