The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: wind + booze + emoticons = love

I guess this makes more sense when you see it in a gchat window where the symbols transform into actual funny things, but use your imagination.  Here's a key:

:D = insane laughter
~@~ = pile of poop
V.v.V = scuttling crab
and of course, <3 = heart, DUH

Pepper those into your next heart-to-heart gchat convo (or shall I say, <3 2 <3?).

andrea:

  THE WIND JUST SHOOK MY HOUSE

  the

  wind

  just

  shook

  my

  house

WTF?!

  where am I living, a goddamn shanty town?!!!!!!

 molly: oh dear

  tape those windows down

  :D ~@~

  laugin' out poop

 *laughin

  LAUGHING

  goddam, i killed it, not funny anymore

  ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~

  that's better

 andrea: shut up

 its totally funny

  ~@~

  HA

 andrea: seriously, I feel unsafe here

  the top floor is just gonna straight up blow off

molly: eek

  just don't get too close to the windows

 andrea: DEATH

  you can have my records, and my record player

  and my booze

if I don't drink it from the beer

  huh?

  if i don't drink it from the fear. FEAR

molly: oh god, don't be talkin' wills!

  (but of course i'm taking your records and record player)

andrea: craaaaaaap

  i'm about to get sucked to wonderland, or whatever

  not wonderland...where did dorothy go?

  OZ

 molly: oh my god woman, how much booze have you had?

 andrea: not a lot

  i think its the chocolate and the fear

  the feeeeeaaar

i drank a big beer

  and i'm about to bust into some cava

 molly: that's gonna be an amazing burp

 andrea: because i'm not going out into that goddamn rain until my boyfriend has music out of his system and is ready to snuggle

  (this conversation is going to wind up on the internet isn't it?)

 "The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: Sassoon loses her damn mind."

 molly: no I'M sassoon! YOU'RE widget!

 andrea: you're widget

 molly: waaaaaaah :'(

 andrea: don't make me sic that crab on you

 V.v.V

 molly: this is totally ending up on the internet

 andrea: V.v.V V.v.V V.v.V V.v.V

  crab army

molly: <3 ~@~ <3 ~@~

  i see your crab army and raise you love poop

 andrea: you bitch

Oh, and you called it Drea - here it is, totally ending up on the internet.  ShaBAM.  And I'M SASSOON, weirdo.