The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: I can also be purchased in bulk

I guess I need to drink more Yogi Tea because I don't even have enough inspiration to write a snappy intro today.

• 6/18/09 - 3:25pm

molly: the inspirational quote on my teabag says "you are unlimited"

 andrea: AHAHAHAHA

 molly: so in case you were worried, there is now an endless supply of molly

 andrea: oh i always knew it

molly: clearly someone at the tea company ran out of ideas

 andrea: why does your tea have inspiration on it anyways?

  why is the tea trying to snoop in your life?!

 molly: it's yogi tea

  it's all-knowing  Also: my mom mailed me some underwear recently that also has inspirational quotes printed around the top band.  For reals.  Forget books and art, you guys!  If you're feeling like your life is worthless, just sit around in your underwear and drink tea!  It's working for me!  (Not really.)

*For more sarcastically-captioned photos, go to Superpoop.  Also inspirational.

This is what my dreams are like

This photographer Denis Darzacq is great.  He's successfully combining two of my favorite things: supermarkets and jumping in the air.  I wish I could get as much air as these dudes:

 Ahh, someday.

Check out how he works his magic here and then maybe check out his exhibit in NYC here.  ART!

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: because all my jeans are falling apart

Friends, I gotta start this by saying I just went to a bar alone for the first time ever and liked it a little too much.  I've always been afraid to go to a bar without company, thinking I would feel very sad and/or get hit on by crazy old men.  Well, I just started a Storytelling class at UCB and our first assignment was to do something outside of our comfort zone so, boom, why not try it?  The verdict: a little sad/scary at first, but once you get some gin in you it's kind of amazing.  I sat there for a good hour, people-watching and writing random things in my notebook that felt genius but will probably seem lame tomorrow.  I cheated a little by going to my favorite bar, but still, baby steps.

I do, however, need to cut back on the drinking and the post-drinking tortilla-chip-eating that comes with it.  My thighs are starting to scare me.  Here's an ode to health (and T-ball):

• 7/8/09 - 10:26am
  

andrea: so, my new favorite healthy snack in THE WORLD is radishes on toast

seriously, i could eat this til i'm dead

molly: i'll have to try that

 andrea: its sooooo good, on buttered toast with salt & pepper & a little hot flakes!

ooh and lettuce sometimes

 molly: sounds like slug food

andrea: no, awesometown food

 molly: awesometown slugs

  that's like the name of a t-ball team

 andrea: hell yes it is

  and they always win the championship and get to go to pizza hut

 molly: yessss

  i sense a movie deal

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: gettin' the shakes

For Andrea's birthday I got her a giant coffee mug featuring this fine quip:



Dreabutt rides without a helmet ALL THE TIME and I mom her to death about it but I think she's still being a reckless freak.  Had I remembered this conversation, however, I might have thought twice before encouraging her excessive coffee consumption:

• 6/30/09 - 9:18am
  

andrea: get me a job

  i would like to work on a space station

  making pizza

  but I want to be able to come down whenever I like

and I'd like that to take not more than...say an hour

  oh, and Megan McCain is a stupid bag of twat

molly: wow, good morning to you

 andrea: :0

  :)

  I wish I could make that little guy raise his fist in the air, all glory-like

  (i"ve had too much coffee)

 molly: i have not had nearly enough

 i've been having insane insomnia lately

  it sucks

  i'm thinking about starting a fight club

 andrea: ooooh...can I be the documentarian/CHAMPION?

molly: documentarian? sure

  champion?

  you just TRY

 andrea: oh just you wait, I'm about to go get cuppa coffee number 3

SETTLE DOWN.

Shot in the head

It's official: I'm an actor again.  Well maybe I shouldn't make such declarations until I'm actually cast in something, but let's celebrate possibilities with my fancy headshot:

 I already have some of my own casting ideas: I've heard from no less than two people (a whole TWO!) that I bear an uncanny resemblance to Zoe Kazan:

Yes?  Maybe?  Well, according to her stats on IMDB, her height is 5' 4 1/2" (just 1/2" shorter than me!) and her birthday is September 9, 1983 (just 15 days older than me!) - I could totally be her stand-in!!  It seems she may be moonlighting as a blonde every now and then, but I could swing that if I was getting paid.  Zoe - have your people call my people.  (And by "my people" I mean "that Verizon voicemail lady".)

PS: my headshots were done by my super duper former intern Claire McAdams.  She's worth a trip to Texas.

I should see if this dude is hiring

So maybe he is nuts, but at least this dude is getting away with labeling "let's play dress up and run around" as "performance art":

I find that I can float above the everyday doldrums of my normal world, if I just create my own imaginary reality, and carry it with me on my body every second of everyday as a costume. Sometimes when I’m on the subway, I imagine that I’m a Milkman lost in time. I don’t know where the train is going, understand the map, or know the time and place I am sitting. Because I don’t feel comfortable in place, I feel most comfortable being out of place. Perhaps this is why people seek a soulmate and a family, in order to feel that they have a place. I decided to find that special place in my artwork.

I don't know about you, I could totally go for some candy crack delivered by a dude with a fish head right now.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: couch dreams

I'm back at work today.  Luckily it's really slow and the big bosses aren't here, but it still means I had to put on real clothes and get up far too early.  Also, I am being plagued with pinching headaches that only seem to be remedied by keeping my glasses on.  NERD.

I wish I was still home watching TV all day in my pajamas... although that's probably what's caused this glasses situation.  If I could insert a picture of myself here, it would be me all nerdy-glasses, harumphing loud enough to make my bangs fly around.

• 6/3/09 - 12:10pm
  

 andrea: sometimes when i watch too much tv it really brings home how much people nauseate me

but mostly that's because tori & dean isn't on.

 molly: so.... tori and dean make you feel happy and fuzzy inside?

 andrea: mm hmm

  :)

 molly: you're weird

 andrea: i know it

 molly: and tori looks like a dude

 andrea: i make no apologies

  she looks like a frog dude

  a harse dude

  horse

  a horsefrog dude

 they should call it horsefrog dude & dean

 molly: HA, harse dude

  YES

 andrea: hee hee

 molly: that could be a nickelodeon show

 andrea: yes!

  on right after willow & the centipedes

  which is another show i just made up

 molly: HA i almost believed you

  that show sounds like it would be creepy

 andrea: it would be fun and joyous

  ...

  and a little creepy

molly: that could also be a band name... for a creepy band

andrea: full of creep shows

  that sings about bugs