Sashay on the boardwalk, scurry to the ditch

Holy crap! Everyone drop your Saturday night plans and come to this with me:

BOWIEBALL NYC!!!

It doesn't look like I can realistically go, but I'm still dreaming about it.  I have an improv show that night that probably won't be done until about 12:30 and I can't think of anyone who would glam up and come with me.

I'm tempted to go alone covered in sequins, if only to witness stuff like this firsthand:

Damn.  Maybe I just need to throw a Bowie theme party.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: the good old days

I stayed home from work today in an attempt to really concentrate on a search for a job that doesn't make me want to hide in the stairwell all day.  So far I sent out three resumes.  And did laundry.  And watched Andy Kaufman videos.  And ate peanut butter from the jar.  And went to a hip hop class.  Productive, right?

I suppose I didn't used to hate my job so much, but things used to be more... well... relaxed.

• 2/1/08 - 5:35pm

andrea: i'm far too restless for my own good. thank god next week is a busy one

 molly: i already want a vay cay again

 andrea: i don't

  i want to be uber busy

  what the hell happened to uber busy?

 molly: graduation

 andrea: dammit all

  i was busy after that

 i want a million dollars

  and a nice dinner

  and a martini

  right now.

 molly: me too

  but... oooh... the boss is taking out the emergency tequila

  things are looking better

Welllllll, back into it tomorrow I guess.  Someone send me some blogs to read.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: OH MY GOD IT'S ONLY MONDAY

Today at work I did all the payroll at once. It's usually a two-day process, but because of this dang Thanksgiving holiday week I had to condense it into one day.  Which meant roughly 8.5 hours of squinting at color-coded spreadsheets and small drop-down menus on the online payroll system. Oh, and the payroll system repeatedly crashed and got soooooo slooooowww because surely every other administrative slave in New York was trying to do the same thing. Puke.

It made me think about my dream job: Professional Awesome Person.  I can't seem to figure out what to do with my life, so why not just be Professionally Awesome, right?  I'm pretty sure the job would primarily involve making  iTunes playlists, baking cookies, rating movies on Netflix, high-fiving old people, and eating tortilla chips.  Actually... this is starting to sound like Naive Unemployed Person.  Hmm.

Either way, I've already got my business cards planned:

• 4/17/09 - 11:58pm
  

molly: i want to get new moo cards that say "molly cameron - the shit"

  because i'm so modest

 andrea: i almost just choked on my lunch when i read that

  that's the raddest thing ever

  do it

molly: i'm a genius

  and each one will have a photo of me on the front in a karate pose

 or wearing sunglasses looking all cool

  or yelling with a beer in my hand

andrea: you sound like the female version of the guy from eastbound and down

  HA

 molly: HAAA yes

  even though i've never seen a full episode, i totally know what you mean

  i'll need to get some sweatbands

 andrea: HELL YES

  you should watch it

  its gold

molly: also: look at this: http://lookatthisfuckinghipster.tumblr.com/

  HA

 andrea: holy wow

 molly: yup

I guess I'll just keep making fun of hipsters until those dreams come true.  Feel free to drop me a line if you'd got a bunch of money you'd like to invest in my small business.

I need to invest in some liquid mascara

After my post on Monday night I crawled into bed with my computer and kept watching God Help The Girl videos.  I am in love with this whole album.  I've always loved Belle & Sebastian and this is Stuart Murdoch's sort-of-spin-off.  "Belle & Sebastian: The New Class," if you will.

I watched this video three times in a row.  Brittany Stallings is so charming and has such a great, soulful voice and makes me want to crawl into that world for awhile.  I also want everyone's outfit.  (Duh).

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: worst day ever

This has been the worst day of work I've had in a long long time.  I work for a theatre company/conservatory and we had a fancy-schmancy VIP reading of a musical tonight, meaning everyone was pissing their pants about crazy shit like programs and seating charts and paychecks for 11 hours as if the world was ending.  Oh, did I mention we're also in the crunch time of an audit?  And people sing and dance in the halls? And that sometimes I go to the bathroom just so I can lightly bang my head against the door?  True stories. 

I really wanted to hide in the bathroom all day but had to be all kind and patient because I need a paycheck.  Low moments of my day/night included (but were not limited to):

- Waking up with the awful beginnings of a cold (sore throat, head, body)
- An endless dance class with loud percussion in the room next door
- Rearranging the 73-person VIP seating chart in five minutes
- Getting coffee for Mr. Special Lyricist Man while I was supposed to be simultaneously placing signs for said seating chart and opening the box office
- Crying at my desk

I'd be ashamed of the crying-at-my-desk part if it hadn't been so well-earned.  Today was a shit storm.

Which of course means that - despite being sick - I definitely had 3 or so glasses of wine in the VIP room as soon as that show was rolling.  And some fancy crudites.

Now I'm home eating cookies and still feeling sickly and exhausted, but at least I made it through, right?  I'm tempted to dip into the Becherovka too (hey thanks Dave!), but that puts me about two seconds away from being this tomorrow:

• 5/13/09 - 9:32am
  

andrea: hey, you know what's NOT good idea?

 drinking a bottle of wine, and then going out to the bar

  on a tuesday

 molly: uh oh

  someone needs some hashbrowns....

 andrea: i do

 or cheezits and nestea 

Yeah.  Maybe just Nyquil.  And this:

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: YOU grow up!

I like to describe my fashion sense as kindergarten-meets-Golden Girls.  In theory, that would meet somewhere in middle age and I would dress all Ann Taylor-y, but I don't.  In reality, it means that I wear a lot of jersey dresses and tights and fake pearls and ugly sweaters and things with pockets.  I am probably a prime candidate for "What Not To Wear," although I would cry when they threw all my stuff in the trashcan. 

• 2/14/08 -1:41pm

molly: is it bad that lately i've been wanting nearly everything in the window of gap kids?

 andrea: no, you're stepping up from Old Navy Kids

  your growing!

 molly: it's true!

  go me!

  gap kids has some awesome looking raincoats though and i keep wondering if i can fit an xxl or something

 andrea: i need a new cheeky beret and I don't know where to get one. possibly the gap...

 molly: gap kids!

  it's in the window!

The obsession never ends.  Have you seen the Stella McCartney stuff at Gap Kids right now? 

WhatwhatWHAT?? Holy shit I need a pink poncho and a sweater dress!!!  And ducklings!!!  STELLAAAAAA!!

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: thank you, Netflix Instant

I am completely addicted to "Dexter."  I added it to my Netflix queue on a whim and then got all wrapped up in it, especially at the end of the first season.  Whoa! The plot twists!  And THEN, lo and behold, it's available to watch instantly on Netflix.  Why have I not embraced this feature until now??  I can watch episode after episode without having to go anywhere or build a semblance of a social life!

So I'm currently only on season two, but already I'm sucked in.  Oh Michael C. Hall, you've won me over with your creepy emotionless charm!  I loved him on "Six Feet Under," which is why I thought to watch "Dexter" in the first place.  "Six Feet Under" was my Netflix obsession last year and sometimes I miss not knowing what was in store for those Fishers and Chenoweths.  Andrea is just as passionate about it as I am and, as you can tell, sometimes we forget they're not real people.

*SPOILER ALERT* Spoilers. They are here.  Maybe don't read this chat if you haven't seen any "Six Feet Under" and would like to block out all plot exposition until you watch it beginning to end (as you should).

• 10/31/08 - 1:29pm

andrea: did you just watch that episode where claire is at work?

 molly: six feet under?

  no i just finished disc two

  nate's 40th birthday

and claire is just smoking weed 24/7

andrea: wow, so much happens in every season

  they really pack it in

  that's where he freaks out on that bird

 molly: YES

  so scary

 like a flashback to when he kills that snake

  actually the last episode i saw was the one right after that where he's finally nice and he and brenda explain the whole two mommy thing to maya

heartwarming

  which is good because nate saved me from hating him

  he's on the edge of being a complete douche

andrea: he's such a whiner

  nothing is ever good enough for him

  oh no I hate my life, i don't want to be a funeral director

  oh no brenda's mean to me, i hate her brother

  oh no I married lisa and i hate her!

  oh no lisa's dead! but i loved her!

 oh no, i'm with brenda again!

  waaaaaaaa!

 molly: I KNOWWWW

  so annoying

  and yet, each episode i manage to still feel bad for him

  but lately i've been feeling more for brenda

 she used to be a complete mess and know that she's finally pulled it together everyone dumps on her

 andrea: yeah, she's definitely doing better

molly: oh man... if i only i put so much energy into caring about real people...

  no one has such dramatic lives, i suppose

 andrea: its true

  our friends need to step it up

molly: yeah, and start having sex addictions and drug dealer friends

 andrea: yeah, what the eff?

Speaking of death and serial killers and blood, Halloween was bananas. I was a zombie camp counselor and I drank a lot of vodka and kept dropping things (umbrella, phone, beer bottles).  Thanks, Andrea, for helping me pick things up (like my brain).

I still need to be Liza and/or Suri someday, but I was down to the wire and really wanted to use fake blood.

BRAAIIINNNS!!

Take your protein pills and put your helmet on

I am a mess today.  I blame the fact that last night I got home around 11:15pm, then decided to eat a big bowl of soba, then decided to paint my nails, and then decided to finish up season one of "Dexter" on Netflix instant watch.  Why the crap can't I ever just GO TO BED??

When I woke up this morning I felt so out of it that I convinced myself for a full three hours that I must have carbon monoxide poisoning - the slow but steady kind.  The fear is a wee bit justified since we have an older apartment and repair people came to look at our messed-up oven recently but... really. My first thought when I'm tired and sickly and cranky shouldn't be "we're all going to die in our sleep!"

This is the way my mind works, kids: in paranoid bursts.

But now, roughly five hours after waking, I have had five Dum Dums and I'm listening to David Bowie's greatest hits and feeling much better.  I forgot how awesome Dum Dums are.

Did you know there are strawberry shortcake and banana split flavors in addition to the already-awesome cream soda and butterscotch?  WOW.

Of course, I never forget how awesome David Bowie is.

DAMN. What a classy criminal he was.

So... yeah.  Feeling better, but I'm still gonna make sure we have a carbon monoxide alarm in our apartment because I'm sure I'll stay up late again tonight and wake up tomorrow feeling paranoid all over again and freak out and email my roommate again.  (Sorry Allison!)

(Mug shot via The Smoking Gun via Milk.)

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: my lip gloss is cool, my lip gloss is poppin'

Oh WOW what an exhausting weekend.  This marked round three of the Widget and Sassoon marathon, but, sadly, it felt like Drea and I barely saw one another.  Most of my weekend was arranged around a baby shower for my hometown friend Celia which meant most of my weekend was spent on various buses.

The shower was worth the trip.  I got to catch up with buds I haven't seen in months and years and - holy crap - even see old elementary school teachers.  AND I won two baby shower games. (Did you know there were such things as baby shower games? That there could be five different baby shower games in one baby shower?? Neither did I. But apparently I'm good at two of them.)

The downside of all this bus traveling meant that there was only time for one dance party.  Luckily, it was an awesome dance party involving hats.  Also luckily (super segue alert!), we both have awesome apartments now.  It seems like just yesterday that we were both undergoing the painstaking process of apartment searching.  But we know how to weed out the weirdos:

• 4/28/09 - 5:52pm
  

andrea:

So, i'm in the apt emailing stage, hopefully for june

  and this one apt, sent me back a survey to fill out!

 molly: oh dear... beware

  i got stuck at one apartment visit for about 40 minutes once because the girl wanted to interview me using a questionnaire she found online

 andrea: oh my god

  are you kidding?

  over email is one thing, but in person?!

 molly: yep

  and some of the questions were about like my "life goals" and i was all "are you shitting me?"

  crazy

andrea: wow, invasive

  this one is pretty cheesy

  I usually go to bed...

I'm the late night type

Sometimes early and sometimes late

Before the 10 p.m. news


How do you feel about overnight guests?

My home is their home

I'll speak up when it gets out of control

I'd be more comfortable discussing it first

 molly: yeah, that's cheesy

 and a little lazy, since it means they don't even want to meet you and ask you these questions in person

 andrea: it also had questions like "hobbies?

  favorite tv show?

 molly: oh dear

  you should make up a ridiculous hobby

 "i'm training for ace of cakes and i need to build and 8-foot tall cake shaped like historical figures once a week"

 andrea: AHAHAHAHAHAHA

 molly: "i like fire dancing and i can only practice on the roof"

 andrea: "I'm really into LARPing, buti can only have meetings in my house"

 they emailed me back to come see the place 11 minutes after i sent the survey back

 molly: AAHAAAA

  nice

  because you added the line about LARPing? ;)

 andrea: no, I used the ace of cakes one

 !

 molly: word!

Right now I'm back in my sweet abode, watching Kill Bill: Vol 2, eating soba, and procrastinating unpacking.  Procrastinating everything that involves advancing toward the rest of the week, really.  The only thing keeping me going is the hope of some kind of awesome Halloween happening over the weekend. 

Hmmm, what to be.  Liza?

Or Suri?

Don't roll your eyes at me, missy!

I'm still being a Daria-worthy sass today.  I'm working on an Excel spreadsheet for the weekly payroll and it is the most mind-numbing, anger-inducing part of my job.  I spend half the day color coding and copying and pasting formulas from worksheet to worksheet and then double checking it all.  As Drea would say, I went to COLLEGE, people!  And guess what?  My degree was not a major in Excel Coding with a concentration in Paper Shuffling!  Lame.  I'm even listening to Smashing Pumpkins right now, folks - that's how junior high my mood has become.

Let's take a step back.  Today is my third "I'm Alive Day" - meaning it's been three years since my near-death-by-moving-vehicles - and here I am complaining about the fact that I have to work a job to make money.  And sure, this isn't what I pictured I'd be doing after re-embracing life... but still.  At least these fingers can type again.  At least I sit upright in this plush swivel chair.  And at least I'm here.

I don't want to get into details again, but for serious - I am thankful today.  All of my limbs are working and I'm not living in a hospital bed and hey - I don't even have braces anymore!

I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the codeine and "That 70's Show " marathons, but it's worth the trade off to be able to run the crap out of a treadmill after a day like this.

Everyone: go be alive.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: bein' a sassbasket

• 3/10/09 - 1:42pm

molly: i am in such a bad mood today and i have no idea why

  i'm being such a kick-a-locker crankypants to everyone

 andrea: you need a big chocolate coffee and a big gin and tonic

 molly: so true

 and a "sick day"

 andrea: hells yes 

Fast forward roughly seven months later.  Same deal.  Grarrarrrrrrrr.

Blogworthy

I knew the Drea of all Dreas could solve my problems.  Behold, fresh off the needle:

Now just imagine it on both feet.  Then imagine me flying.  Because I CAN NOW!!

Kidding.  It's all for show.

Also: best snarky comment so far:  "Did you drink some Redbull or something? I hear it gives you wings."  Way to go, Fudge.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: Adventures in Pisspot

Round 2 of Widget and Sassoon month wrapped up yesterday and is definitely in the running to be the most memorable. There was less shopping and more bad luck and pouting this time around, but still some web-video-watching and buffet-eating. Sort of a good balance.

The weird part: Andrea got random stomach flu/food poisoning, also late Saturday night, which happened to me last week! Are we germing each other up? I swear I didn't even lick her pillowcase. Luckily I started taking liquid echinacea this weekend and I'm convinced it's saving my immune system (it also makes me feel a little stoned - bonus?).

The sucky part: I lost my phone when we went to Andrea's grandmother's retirement party in Long Island. For real. And I wasn't even drunk! Damn it all. I think it was a sign though as my phone was a piece of crap and now Andrea is sending me her old-but-fancy phone. Yay!
So I've been without a phone for two and a half days now, which is mostly an inconvenience, but also a bit freeing. Want to text me about how annoying the post office is? GOOD LUCK, SUCKERS!

The awesome part: I finally got tattoos! Talk about FANCY. I've been pondering over the idea of getting wings off my ankles for a good two years now and I finally did it. They were perfectly inked by Bryan at New York Adorned and I couldn't be happier with the design. He was a bit of a sass, but in a classic East-Village-tattoo artist way. And yes, it hurt like hell, but I think the total inking process couldn't have been more than 15 minutes. I'd love to post photos, but as I don't own a digital camera, I don't want to post the lame MacBook-Photo Booth version. Photo shoot, anyone?
Oh, and FUN FACT: Not only did Bryan's three-year-old son run around the shop and give us fake flowers while we were waiting, but we were told that Hilary Duff had stopped in right before I arrived to get a small anchor tattooed on her ankle. I suggested that it's so she can sink to the bottom (zing!). Bryan said he wished she got a Duff beer can (HA!).

ANYWAY. Dreaface and I didn't get to spend as much time together as before, but I'm glad she broke her promise about coming to New York. We'll continue the adventures in Borington in a couple weeks.

• 4/3/09 11:22am

andrea: i'm trying to make it until december without seeing new york

these are my little dreams

molly: you're no fun

andrea: i'm all kindsa rad genius fun

molly: WHATEVER

andrea: YOU WHATEVER

new york is a piss pot

PISS

POT

you move to london i'll visit you all the time!

no!

don't!~

i take it back!

molly: maybe i WILL

you're lucky i come to boring boston

borington

bostonoring

andrea: you shut it

i come to pisspot for you

pissy pissy pisspot

molly: yeah in december maybe

you're missing out on my giant living room and kabirs

andrea: ooooh kabirs....

That's RIGHT! I knew I could lure her with a samosa.

Oh, and here's another SNL clip we enjoyed imitating:



"YEAAAAH"

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: bootard month

October is an exciting time in the land of Widget and Sassoon! Drea and I are hanging out not one, not two, but THREE weekends this month! Insane!

The first 36-hour party went down this weekend when Drea came to NYC and crashed on my granny couch from Friday to Sunday. Highlights included playing Burger Time (which I think should be called Cheeseburger Time - everyone wants cheese, amiright amiright?), wearing matchy-matchy outfits, eating gigantic onion rings, dirty dancing to the Fugees, and watching this video at least 13 times:



We then proceeded to do the Maya/Whitney shoulder shake every time things got really exciting.

Ignoring the part where I randomly got a horrendus stomach flu/food poisoning and ignoring the fact the we both now have gross colds, amazingness was had by all. I can't wait until Part B next weekend. In the meantime, we'll continue to have heart-to-hearts like this one:

• 1/7/09 - 10:27pm

molly: oh good, you're alive

 andrea: wait, was i dead?   oh, the wine

  i'm dead.

 molly: NOOO

  GET UNDEAD

 andrea: trying.

 molly: BE A ZOMBIE

 andrea: bootard

  eating brains.

  so what?

 molly: so

  you

 i am drinking gin, and also getting sleepy

 andrea: ugh. i still have to go back to somerville tonight though

  bugger

  i want to sew an ipod case

  i want EVERYTHING

 molly: somerville?

  ha, bugger

  are you british now?

 andrea: that's where joe lives

  no, just a wino

 molly: ahhh

wine brings out the brit

  and gin brings out the CRAZY

  and LAZY

  i am watching blazing saddles on amc and now all i want to do is drink and watch movies all night

andrea: YES

  me too

  but i have to take a bus

  grrr.

  and a shower.

  grrr.

 molly: are you at home?

  brighton home?

 andrea: yeah

  bootard

 molly: YOU'RE a bootard

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: only 88 days left until Christmas!

Erghhhblaargghhbleeeh.

That's the sound that Monday makes. I've been spoiled by having the last three Mondays off and now this Monday is eating my soul. I've been here two hours and so far the only productive thing I have done is emptied a file folder, shredded the contents, and then emptied the shredder. The thought of doing much more is agonizing.

So why not start my Christmas shopping? I could at least update my Amazon Wish List in the hope that people actually look at it this year. Sadly, Amazon does not sell creepy laser foxes:

• 12/3/08 - 3:07pm

molly: i'm freaking out about xmas gifts bc i don't know when i'll have the time to make/buy gifts in the midst of moving

i think everyone will get cookies

andrea: i wish i could get away with that

molly: maybe you can

you can just knit me a mitten

just one

it's ok

andrea: i can't knit

woops

molly: or crochet

whatever the hell that crafty thing you do with yarn is

i don't know

andrea: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=18109744

yes!

molly: i just want balls

HA

andrea: balls?

molly: crocheted balls

like on the poster

and i want them stuffed inside of that laser fox

andrea: hee hee

DONE

molly: oh but it still has to be alive

the laser fox

ok?

andrea: no problem

i'll get him

you have to promise to be careful with him though

molly: don't worry

he'll live in the bathtub

until i move out

then he will live under margaret's bed

andrea: hahahahahahah!!

you can't leave him though!

molly: ok fiiiiiine he can live in my giant new living room and teach yoga classes to earn me extra money

andrea: i LOVE this fox

i think his name is geraldine

molly: geraldine's a girl name

andrea: he's french canadian

By the by, if you want to check out these "balls" I speak of, look at Drea's stuff here and here. They're fun.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: why I'm sticking with improv

So I was right. I'm a big ol' sick face today so I took the day off to sit on the couch and eat soup all day and try to get better. Ick.

The plus side is that I caught up with a bunch of random television, the highlight of which was an episode of "Inside the Actor's Studio" with Amy Poehler. Damn, I want her career. When James Lipton asks his famous 10 questions at the end, she gives a serious answer and a comedic answer for each. For example:

"What is your least favorite sound?"
"Serious answer? The sound of anyone in pain. Comedic answer? A man crying while I make love to him."

Also:

"If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?"
"Serious answer: 'Come on in.' Comedic answer: 'Your mother was right.'"

Amazing. She's definitely one of the reasons I started doing improv:

• 8/22/07 - 4:38pm

molly: i'm actually looking into improv classes

but that's whenever i can afford them...

andrea: improv classes, huh?

molly: yep

there's an amy poehler in me just waiting to burst out

i know it

andrea: you're better than amy poehler

hear me now, universe. Molly Cameron is better than Amy Poehler

molly: YOU'RE RIGHT ANDREA,

(that's the universe)

GIVE HER A SHOW, DAMMIT

(thanks universe)

OK, that's a stretch, universe and Andrea (but, aw shucks, thanks). I'm currently about to repeat Improv 401, doubting all of my writing skills, and running out of ways to zing my co-workers. Maybe this is just the sick talking, but moments like this make me think too hard about my life and wonder if I should have followed my 12-year-old dream and become a secret agent (because I hear that's really easy).

Anyway. Enough of my September moping. I'll get there eventually. Let's watch some Kaitlin.

They make it look so easy

I am currently in the thick of my standard Sunday Night Blues with a dash of Starting-To-Get-A-Cold and I'm feeling a little miserable about things. Thank god for this:



Not only is it a great song, but the backup dancers are prime examples of how to correctly smile through an awkward moment. I get the impression that the producer of this show just walked into a random high school, pulled five cute girls out of cheerleading practice, and gave them 10 minutes to come up with some moves. Watch around the 1:08 mark when the girls in the front try to correct one another - HA. The girl on the middle left is my fave - she's got the MOVES.

Let this be a lesson in perseverance to you, kids: when life gives you a stage, you better dance on it. But don't forget that even though Stevie Wonder can't see you, everyone else can.

(Thanks to Jezebel for sharing)

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: why I live in Queens now

When I still lived in Brooklyn, I had a crazypants roommate named Margaret. Yep, that's her real name. Not even gonna change it because I doubt she knows this blog exists. If she does? Oh, hey, HI Margaret! You were a CRAZYPANTS ROOMMATE. But no hard feelings. Hopefully you're living in a happier place now where people fill the Brita to the right level, the silverware isn't exposed to the air, and your hairs are allowed to thrive all over the bathtub.

ANYway... this is a good example of how I felt about living there:

• 10/15/08 - 11:47am

molly: oops i still haven't told margaret you're coming this weekend

i've barely seen her

let's surprise her and hope she leaves :)

andrea: woop!

molly: let's sneak into her open room while she's sleeping and just stand over her bed with beers in hand until she wakes up

andrea: i'm all in molly: amazing

When the first cup of coffee tastes like washing up / you know she's losing it

I saw a woman on the subway this morning with socks that said LISA and I was so excited. Never mind that this woman was probably pushing 60 and didn't need name socks, but still - name socks! Then I got closer and realized, oh, they don't say LISA at all. They say USA. Damn it.

I hate today already.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: I hate Tuesdays too

Long weekends and Monday holidays are wonderful but they make that back-to-work Tuesday even more painful. You're trying to squish more work into less days and all you want to do is be back at a weekday brunch drinking bellinis. That's when it's nice when the train "suddenly" takes an extra long time. Or you "accidentally" sleep in.

• 11/13/08 - 12:22pm

molly: so i didn't set my alarm and slept until 10 this morning

oops....

andrea: WOOPS

molly: luckily i didn't miss anything important

and i feel nice and rested

i should do this all the time

Killing more fond adolescent memories...

Oh god, really? REALLY? A Green Day musical??

This photo is just... weird:

And Mike Dirnt looks like he'd really rather be elsewhere.

To be fair, American Idiot is miles away from the Green Day of my junior high years. Somebody call me when they make Kerplunk or Dookie into a musical. Now that I would see.

Take a look! It's in a book! But not on TV!

Sad news, friends: "Reading Rainbow" is ending after 26 years of read-alouds. It's found its last pot of literary gold. It's closed the back cover. It's run out of Dewey decimals. It's... ehhh that's all I got.

To be honest, I kind of forgot it was still on, but it always held a warm, nostalgic place in my heart. Plus, it helped me to make the distinction that LeVar Burton was not Geordi La Forge and he was not actually blind, but he was an actor and he liked cool books. (Many years later I would discover Roots and be further confused yet impressed by his career path.)

But most importantly, it reminded us that reading was FUN. Even though it's a bit of an oxymoron to be reading books through TV, I know I still got excited to check out kickass new picture books at the library. Sadly, my local library did not live up to all this hype:



WHOA. Did you hear that sassy librarian hit those belting notes? Also: does anyone else really want neon pink pants right now?

So: thanks LeVar and friends. Without you, I'm sure I would not be as literate as I am today (or as into "Star Trek: The Next Generation"). I'm also sure that we wouldn't have this:



But you don't have to take my word for it... :) :)

Thanks to BUST for filling me in.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: did I ever mention I once had mono?

Last year Andrea got to go to the beach for a long weekend and she rubbed it all up in my face while I was withering away eating ice pops and watching "Six Feet Under."

What a dick.

Just kidding.

(95% kidding.)

• 9/5/08 - 3:56pm

andrea: BEEEEEACH

why aren't you heeeere?

me: go away miss vacation face

because i have a SUCK JOB and MONO

andrea: ugh

mono. no

me: no kidding

so do you have wireless on the beach or something??

because then i hate you more

andrea: wireless in the house, house next to the beach

me: poop

andrea: its awesome

like a last hurrah for summertime

me: POOP

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: human burrito

Just add salsa!!

• 8/26/08 - 9:56pm

molly: you would be proud, lindsay and i had burritos

oh AND she showed me the awesome pic on her phone of you eating a burrito

andrea: because secretly, I AM a burrito!

A HA

molly: I KNEW IT

you always smelled suspiciously of beans and guac

um... in a good way

andrea: its comin outta my pores

mmmm

Move your errrmms!

I am on a lovely "staycation" this week (side note: I really hate the word "staycation" but can't stop using it all the time - stop me) and so took some time to pop into a dance class this evening. I came away with some of the best Bev quotes/life lessons ever.

• On stretching: "Move your head into eternity!"
• On being ghetto: "Some of y'all need to visit Harlem. Well... some of y'all should bring a friend."
• On... crowding, maybe?: "Move all the way up to the mirror! This is New York City and some people are homeless!"

LOVE IT.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: career opportunities

This was about the time when I really started to question what the hell I'm doing with my life. I haven't come up with an answer yet.

• 3/18/08 - 12:47pm

andrea: i can't believe they won't let you drink in the office anymore

i mean what is this? russia?

molly: it's getting there

theatre is russia

andrea: we need to get you a new job

molly: do it

preferably in italy

Somebody in here it's your birthday

Yesterday my blog turned four years old.  If cukr kazdy den were a human, it would now be a hyperactive, overdramatic, pre-diabetic toddler.  And if I were a good mother, I would have celebrated this yesterday but I am currently absorbing the 55-odd hours of sweaty laughter that is the Del Close Marathon.  (I'll try to give a rundown of this madness later, but so far let me just say that Horatio Sanz is looking svelte and John Gemberling is still opposed to wearing shirts.)  ANYWAY...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BLOG!!  I started you out of complete boredom during a box office job and now look how you've blossomed.   We've laughed, we've cried, we've drunk too much booze and eaten too much sugar - and isn't that what life's all about?  Well no... I'm sure life's actually about a lot more than that.  But I'm only 25 and what do I know?  

I'm half asleep.

Let's eat some Funfetti.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: I heart Web MD

Hey, remember when I had mono? That was no fun. I was bored out my mind and just surfed the internets all day reading terrible things. Good thing Andrea is my voice of reason.

• 8/16/08 - 3:08pm

molly: oh my god, i'm reading horrible things about mono

apparently if my liver is damaged badly enough, i may have to avoid alcohol for up to a YEAR

andrea: STOP

molly: i thought i used up all my bad karma!!

i know it, i need to stop

i'm convincing myself i'm getting hepatitis now

andrea: you DO NOT HAVE HEPATITIS

molly: but what if i dooooo? what if that's why i'm dehydrated??

oh wait, i think i've had that vaccine

so unless my vaccine didn't work, you're probably right

it's just a ruined liver

sigh

andrea: you're fine

you weirdo

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: drunk, drunk on the range

This evening I met some expensive scotch. And I met it HARD. If I were to have a conversation with myself right now it would probably sound a lot like this:

• 7/25/08 - 12:41am

andrea: lonesome drunkie

drunken on whiskey

whiskey and saddlebags

made of tequila

on the prairie

molly: i want a saddlebag made of tequila!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have half a bag of pita chips to eat and some Wham! to listen to. Thanks scotch.