The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: gettin' old

That's right, I'm OLD.  At least, I sure felt old after unfolding myself from a four-hour bus ride from Boston to New York City this afternoon and hobbling into work.  My gimpy side was acting up and even though I limped around the office and kept yawning with exhaustion, they still made me open envelopes and take notes in meetings and stuff!  SHEESH.

But then I got home and went for a run, went grocery shopping, made dinner, and made a double batch of cookies.  And after I publish this here post I still have plans to wash dishes, paint my nails and watch awesome things on Hulu.  So I guess I'm not old, I just have work-induced laziness.  And insomnia.  Getting there...

molly: there is some kind of giant backyard party going on next door

  which would be ok, if it weren't TUESDAY

who does that on a tuesday?

  am i getting old?

 andrea: who does that on the tuesday after fucking memorial day weekend?

 molly: i guess it will be more annoying if it's still happening in 5 hours

  yeah, really

 andrea: seriously, haven't you partied enough?

 molly: right now it's mostly just annoying because i don't want to shut my windows and we're competing for music

andrea: that sucks

  people suck

  i mean, its not that late, but its tuesday, like for realsies

molly: right?

  if it is still happening in a few hours, i'm going to yell that out my window

 andrea: yes!

  i love that

 molly: "people, it's tuesday, like for realsies!"

 andrea: there were some cats having sex outside my window like a half an hour ago i think...

 molly: but i'll put curlers in my hair and put on a housecoat first

 andrea: i should've yelled at them

  yes!

 molly: yesssss ewwww that happens a lot here too

 andrea: and a green face mask

  I actually muted the tv and went over to the window all "what the crap?"

molly: yeah cause it sounds like babies dying

 andrea: i don't even know what to liken it to..

  it was upsetting

PS: If anyone can find me a link to the clip of Maya Rudolph's re-appearance as Whitney Houston on SNL this past Saturday, I will love you forever and buy you a drink or... something.  It is crucial to Andrea and mine's growing collection of videos to loudly re-enact on the subway.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: in which we attempt to motivate ourselves and show early signs of bad parenting skills

The thought of ever maybe possibly being a parent is TERRIFYING to me.  What if you forget them at the grocery store?  What if they're boring?  What if you break them??  Man, I ask those questions about myself.

molly: grug

i'm working saturdays for the next two weeks

  at least my overtime pay starts tomorrow

 andrea: oh man, that sucks

  but overtime pay doesn't suck

  i don't work on daturday

but i'm broke broke broke

  ha! daturday

 molly: it could be dadurday - a dad's lame attempt at weekend bonding

  "c'mon kids, get up, we're all going for pancakes and a baseball game because it's DADURDAY!"

andrea: hahaha! that sounds MISERABLE

 molly: "and then you're going to shut up and get me beers while i watch the news"

andrea: oh man, i want a beer

  and dinner

i was going to go to the gym after work, but i'm so hungry, i don't think i'll make it through

molly: eat a snack before you go

andrea: blaaaargh

 molly: you'll feel so much better after, i bet!

 andrea: what if i drink a beer instead, and just go tomorrow?

  i bet i will too, but i'm so laaaazy

  i haven't gone all week

  i'm the worst

also, i fucking hate two year olds

molly: me too

  they're so self-involved

  it's like "me! me! me!" all the time

 andrea: you should see him, sitting here staring at me

 molly: jesus, kid, just learn how to cook your own omelet already

 andrea: can you think of nothing else to do but stare at me, baby?!

HAHAHAHA

  aren't babies supposed to play?!

he has toys for days, but he just stares at me!

  or tries to hang all over me!

if I stand up, he'll stand up, but otherwise, he just lies on the ground like a despondent little midget

WOOPSH!

Stop whatever you're doing, have yourself a sit-down, and watch this amazing video:



I don't even know where to begin my praises...
Kid Cudi AND Snoop!
Big cardboard car!
Cudi eats his cereal out of a mixing bowl!
Hilarious bouncy dance moves!
The words "BIDNESS" and "WOOPSH" are involved!

This was the perfect start to my Sunday morning.

The only sad part: isn't Snoop looking OLD?

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: ba dum ching!

It's Monday!  Time for me to be sick again!

Really though: get with it, body!  My first day back at work after a leisurely week off and that's when you decide to smack me with yet another cold?  Why do I get sick all the time?  Oh my god, do I have lupus??  Shit.  I suppose it's actually just proof of just how opposed my body is to being back at the job.

Now that I'm sitting in bed eating spicy soup out of a giant mug though, I'm feeling marginally better.  If I had a little bit more energy I would dance to this (or at least come up with another snappy pun):

andrea: It's only 4:00

 Where's the justice?

 molly: right here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49esza4eiK4

  womp womp 

Oh it's such a perfect day... I'm glad I spent it with me...

Not to rub it in your face, worker bees, but I am on VACATION this week and I FUCKING LOVE IT.  Today, in particular, was all loveliness and sunshine.  I'm tempted to never show up to work again and see how long it takes them to stop paying me.  (That would probably take about three days, actually, since I usually run the payroll.)

I got up sorta early (9am) considering I worked my intern shift the night before, but I thought I'd be meeting a potential subletter.  Turns out I had my days mixed up - whoops - so I instead used the time to send out four job resumes and speed through some of my email.  Yay productivity!

I had to go into Manhattan for an appointment and with all the sun and the green and the flowering things I couldn't possibly go right back on the train. So I wandered myself into Barnes and Noble to peruse things I shouldn't buy.  Good call, because I found this on the bargain shelf for $5.95:

YESSS!  This has been on my to-buy list forever, but I was always too cheap to shell out the whole entire list price fee of $28 (times is tough, yo).  Now that I have it my hot little hands all I want to do is become a professional wackadoo party host.  Why isn't that job on Craigslist??

After more wandering in the beautiful sunshine, I came home and made myself a real lunch!  With fresh fruits and vegetables!  Which I didn't have to eat at a sad desk!  Amazing.

Then I dashed to dance class and HOLY CRAP.  Not only did we dance to Janet, but it was the teacher's assistant's birthday so they brought her a cake and we all got giant slices of Magnolia red velvet cake after class!  For real!!

 
And it had normal vanilla frosting and not cream cheese frosting which is what always ruins a good red velvet and ohmygod CAKE!!!  It felt wrong to sit and eat cake after sweating for 90 minutes but still... mindblowing.

Now I'm winding down with tequila and L.A. Ink (these people are fascinating) and I have big plans to watch the end of Ugly Betty Season 4 and paint my nails with this fancy nail art pen.

PLANS, y'all!!

Just so you know I'm not entirely roses and unicorns, I did pull a neck muscle in dance class and I don't know how I'll ever turn my head to the left ever again.  But still!  Who needs turn their head when there's Amy Sedaris and tequila!

I almost don't want to go to sleep tonight for fear that karma will fuck me over and tomorrow will suck.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: another reason we need our own film crew

It's true: Drea and I spend a lot of time bitching about our jobs, but at least our analogies are different every time.  I think I could someday string all our job rant analogies together and it would be a perfect sitcom.  Or at least a B-movie screenplay.

molly: btw, i'm curating more widget and sassoon laughables from our old chats and it's totally saving me right now

 andrea: Oh man! I should be doing that!

 Instead, I'm listening to a baby WHINE AND CRY FOREVER FOR NO REASON while I talk to you

 You think you have problems kid? Oh I'm sorry, is it too dark in here, is your mac and cheese not to your liking? Shall I wipe your ass again?

 molly: HA

  did you forget the sprig of parsley with that mac?

  maybe that's it

  or maybe you should heat those baby wipes with your breath

 andrea: Maybe I should run screaming into the rain and twirl in circles at my glorious, glorious freedom

 molly: yeah! and hire a steadicam to follow you!

 andrea: Hee hee!

 andrea: GARBAGE

 the world is garbage.

  Siiiiiiiiigh

 molly: it sure is

  except for the parts with dancing

  those are golden

Aaaaand scene.

REALLY??

I saw a big truck advertising this on my way into work yesterday and almost did a vaudeville-style spit take of my coffee:

Really, universe?  Why the crap do we need an Ed Hardy energy drink?  Hasn't Ed Hardy spoiled enough clothing and merchandise across America already?

Perhaps more importantly: what kind of energy requires the specific Ed Hardy brand?  The energy to squeeze out the last of your hair gel to perfectly spike up those frosted tips?  Or maybe the energy to make it through the final coloration of your vaguely Asian tramp stamp?  Good god.

I bet this stuff tastes like Mountain Dew mixed with Axe body spray.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: back in the day

I've done it: I've gotten so lazy that I missed my self-imposed Monday midnight Widget and Sassoon deadline and you know what? I DON'T CARE.  I'm trying out this new thing called Not Being Hard On Myself.  Crazy, right?  I hear many people do it every day and actually lead lives without endless to-do lists and, shucks, what a novel idea! 

But enough about my crazy brain.  This is about my AND Andrea's crazy brain.

This April 1st marked three years of me living in New York City.  Whooooaaaaaawoowww.  I've been reminiscing about those good ol' early days lately, remembering all the super cool fun Drea and I had in the giant single apartment I was subletting in Washington Heights.

Except for that shithead cat.  About 24 hours after that photo was taken, I learned he was a fun-ruiner.

So in the spirit of nostalgia, I dug up one of the very first gchats we ever had (ever!), from that grand spring of '07.  [Note: I have no idea what "Gaslight" was.  Probably some lameo show/movie that I knew I was better off not seeing.  HA.  Clearly our online love/hate relationship was already in full bloom.]

andrea: you're druuuuunk

 molly: not anymore

  but kinda dizzy, for some reason

  i think i'm dying

  my brain is dying

 andrea: i want to do things on brightly colored pieces of paper

 molly: me too!

  a little...

i'm in one of those moods where i'm wide awake and have the urge to do ... something

  but i have no idea what

  it should probably be sleep

 hey i completely changed my mind about thurs night

  i don't really want to see "gaslight" any more bc i have too much shit to do

  i need to start packing too

 andrea: blah blah blah

  you just want to blow me off

  and NOT do things on brightly colored pieces of paper!

 molly: you're so right

  i'm actually making a voodoo doll of you

 andrea: i hate you

 molly: that's my crafty craftiness

 andrea: bah.

 molly: g'night buttface

 andrea: bah.

And with that memento, G'NIGHT BUTTFACES!

Tell by my belt buckle that I most definitely from...

The first 17 years of my life are perhaps best summarized by this amazing video:


This also serves as a good argument for why I no longer live there.

I would, however, love to stumble across a big guy in the woods playing a tiny piano.

The Weekly Widget and Sasson: not so much hilarious, very much true

Full disclosure: I am overwhelmed and overtired and being a brat today so I'm not even going to attempt to write as much as I wanted to.  Good news: Drea Drea spent the weekend with me and we did amazing things like drink pickle martinis and make big arty plans and try on crazy clothes.  Bad news: I can't write about it today because I'm too busy holding my eyes open.  Bleh.  Luckily I can always rely on this:

molly: can we drink whiskey tomorrow please?

 andrea: Um, yes!

Good luck with your Mondays, friends!

PS: the photo thing

I joined the rest of the world and got myself a Flickr account.  Check it out here and on the left sidebar.  So far... I have a lot of labeling and updating to do.  ERGGH.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: this post is rated PG-13 for boob talk

Another short and sweet post today, comrades.  It's almost midnight and I'm cranky and I need to eat my baked potato and take a shower and drink vodka.  What, you want a segue?  Pfffsshht, okay. 

I've continually been talking myself off of ledges for the past few days, sparked especially by my attempts to do my taxes (anyone want to give me Turbo Tax help in exchange for hugs and cookies??) and climaxing today when I accidentally slept in until 11:10am (I'm supposed to be at work at 10:00).  But you know who's the champ of talking me off ledges?  Drea Drea.  Even when I'm irrationally freaking out about my boobs. Sha-BAM.

molly: in other news, i've been paranoid because i've continually had weird chest pains around my heart, but now i think maybe i'm just continually pulling my boob muscle

  can you pull a boob muscle?

  i mean, it seems possible, right?

 andrea: i dunno

 molly: or is it a slowly developing heart attack?

 andrea: i mean, there must be muscle underneath your boob

  heart attacks don't develop slowly silly

 molly: but maybe mine is!

  or it's a stroke!

 andrea: its not a stroke

 molly: i'm benjamin button old!

 andrea: no no no

  you're being ridiculous

 molly: sheesh

 next time i go to the doctor i'm gonna make her explain the musculature of the boob

 but i realized it's the side where i always carry my giant bags so.... yeah

 andrea: that sounds like a very edifying conversation topic

molly: i like to make a doctor feel like they're really earning they're paycheck

 andrea: me too

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: career opportunities

 I think I've reached the peak of quarter life crisis.   I just opened an IRA today (!!) and the fact that I am planning for the days when I will be a sassy old lady is sorta mind-boggling.  I mean, I now have a brokerage account and yet the windows in my bedroom are covered with tapestries being held up by thumbtacks because the thought of sizing and buying and installing blinds is too much for me.  Yeesh.

And of course I still don't know what I'm doing with my life, other than sneakily blogging while pretending to organize files.  Maybe I should have a dance party and invite rich moms and their babies and call it "learning."

 andrea: You'll never guess where I am right now

 molly: ummmmmmm

  a holiday inn breakfast buffet?

  a canoe?

  india?

 andrea: I'm at a baby class for bou-gie moms

  Unreal

 Seriously, I'm gonna kill myself

  I hate my job

 molly: baby yoga?

  i hate mine too

 i want nothing more than to go to the gym and then go home and watch bad movies and drink red wine and make pumpkin cookies

 andrea: Oh no, this is ANOTHER baby class

 molly: good god

 andrea: Because one wasn't enough

 molly: what could babies possibly be learning??

 andrea: Oh my god! I would KILL for that day right now

  Well right now they're learning to pop bubbles

  I guess

 molly: wow

  what a skill

parents PAY for that shit?

  i need to start teaching bougie baby classes

 andrea: You have no idea

 This woman seems like she does a few lines in the changing room and then sucks down some helium before she does this

  You have to be willing to make the necessary sacrifices

 

I think could deal with some coke and helium if it means I get to blow bubbles in toddlers' faces all day. 

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: Nerdy McNerdpants

Links, cat photos, lolspeak - just another Monday in my brain.

andrea:http://whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com/

molly: oh wow i love it already just for the title

  oh my... is this nsfw?

 or just that first pic?

 andrea: nsfw?

 molly: sorry, not safe for work

 i keep out myself as a message board dork when i use internet speak

  *outing, rather

andrea: yeah, dork

molly: omg i'm toats lol but u <3 me irl

 andrea: irl?

 molly: :) :)

  in real life

 andrea: oh my lord

 molly: i can haz dork prizes!

Cream on the inside, clean on the outside

I just had the best weekend that I've had in a loooong time.  Nothing super exciting, but I did have a four-hour drunken brunch, purchase two awesome rainy-day CDs at Other Music, go to a hip hop class where we danced to this, slept until noon on Sunday, had a great show with Goatbutter last night, and finished everything off with strawberry beer.  Heavenly.

But this, thanks to Andrea, was the cherry on my ice cream sundae of a weekend.  Good luck trying to watch it less than three times in a row:

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: whatEVER, fashion!

Yeah, that's right - we know what's UP, fashion industry!  You're all creating nonsense clothing as part of an evil ploy to make us wear ridiculous no-heeled shoes and diaper pants and then you laugh at us from your cave lair with the TVs where the secret hidden cameras are broadcasting our pratfalls.  Take THAT, fashion week!

What's that?  Fashion week is already old news?  All the shoes had heels?  Oh.

Don't mind me; I'm just trying to hit "publish" before midnight so I can gain a minor sense of accomplishment from meeting my weekly self-imposed deadline.  Alrighty?  Good. 

JEGGINGS!  (No, Rihanna, not even you.)

me: speaking of topshop, my latest newsletter from them says the latest thing is "jeggings"

  jeans + leggings

  JEGGINGS

  what??

 andrea: WHAT?

  NO

  WHY?

  NO

 me: I KNOW

i'm trying to send you a link, but i don't know if it will work

  i'm forwarding the email ad

 andrea: http://blogs.smarter.com/fashion/2009/04/08/fashion-trend-jeggings/

  UUUUUUUUUUGH

 me: you are so fast

  yeah, super ugh

 andrea: jeggings just skyrocketed to the most offensive word in my vocabulary

 me: i'm going to start slipping it into conversation

like an adjective

  "ew, this cheese is so jeggings"

they just look like really cheap kmart jeans for lazy people

 andrea: they're horrible

  i hate them

  i'm mad at topsshop for purveying them

 me: topshop purveys a lot of nonsense

they just luck out because they carry SO much stuff that there is more good than bad

 i remember when topshop was the first that i noticed to carry "harem pants" and i was all no no no no wtf

 andrea: ll the harem pantds should be burned

  NOBODY looks good in harem pants

  or jeggings for that matter

I have a fancy camera! I'm taking bad photos of stuff!

I have never even owned a digital camera and now here I am with a Nikon D40 (thanks Dave!) trying to figure out how to zoom in and out.  Here's how I'm practicing:

I guess this means I should open one of them there "Flickr" accounts the kids speak of.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: I'll be there for youuuuuuu

Drea, I really wish you were on a bus on your way here right this second, even if it does make you cranky.  I could use a night of beer and tacos and "Friends" references.  We don't have to make out, just dance a lot.  I guess I can still be Ross - Phoebe and Monica are lamesauce.

And maybe I'll figure out this whole underwear thing.

andrea: This is a neverending hell beast bus, and I want a beer and a taco, and I'm getting cranky

molly: if it's any consolation, i just discovered i've been wearing my underwear inside out all day

  do you think you're running late?

andrea: AHAHAHAHSHA

  No, were rapidly approaching the bronx

  andrea: Thanks iPhone , for always letting me, and the government, know where I am

 molly: and the ALIENS

 andrea: woot.

  They could find me before iPhone, they've got super nano technology.

  duh

 molly: DUH

 andrea: you still meeting me at the bus?

 molly: yep

 andrea: like a long lost lover...?

 molly: i'm actually leaving work now and i'm going to slowly meander in that direction

  yep, minus the roses

  plus the making out

 andrea: cool, get me a present

 molly: oh but i DID

  it's just at home

 andrea: awesome, we can be like Ross and rachel

 molly: surrrrrre

  i want to be ross

Like chocolate and peanut butter

Hey wow, two of my favorite things are joining forces!  And they're not edible things!  Liberty is designing a line for Target and it looks pretty rockin'.  Well, as rockin' as wee flowers and paisley can be.

The real reason I'm weak in the knees for the collection is because it reminds me of my days working at Liberty and wishing I could afford all the cute things we sold.  I worked in Customer Service in the basement but whenever I had to bring returns to other departments I would take an extra long trip so I could wander around and touch everything.  We sold lots of designer stuff other than just the Liberty of London prints, but the prints were what most customers were after.  I did end up buying a bunch of great, flowery fabric with my employee discount, but I'm pretty sure it's still sitting under my bed at my parents' house because I don't actually know how to sew.

But it's OK because, once again, Target is solving all my problems!

There's even a Liberty print bike!!  Good god, I want springtime.

Check out the whole collection here.  And then buy it for me next month, pleeeeease.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: poo pah to the max

Dudes, I am BEAT.  I'm working a ton of overtime in preparation for this bananatown gala we're planning at work while also fighting off the end of cold (again).  All I want to do is lie in bed and watch America's Best Dance Crew (I miss Kaba Modern!) and eat pretzels. 

But since I'm getting a significant bonus check from all this, I guess I'll hang out and try to raise us some money.  Blergh.

Coincidentally, do any of you know some rich people who would like to drop tons of money on an evening of musical theatre, fancy canapes, and self-congratulation?  Say... $5,000 or so?  Lemme know really soon.

I could use a shot of whiskey right about now.

andrea: (I'm all riled up from bubbles)

molly: bubbles?

champys?

 andrea: YES

  champys!

molly: i just had some whiskey, but sadly there was only about one shot left :(

  prepping for mad men watching

 andrea: ugh lame

 one shot of whiskey and mad men

  lame

  L

  A

  M

  E

  joe sends his regards

  as he is out of clever words right now

 molly: i bet HE isn't calling me lame!

 andrea: oh he did

  don't worry

 molly: i send those regards right back, gentleman

 oh crap then

  i take them back

 andrea: you can't

  they're out there in the ether

 molly: i throw my proverbial glove at the both of you

  poo pah

 andrea: poo pah!

  YES

you are on a ROLL

 molly: it's the lack of sleep

  and that one shot of whiskey

 andrea: woo!

  livin

PS: I stopped adding the date of the chat because you guys don't care, right?  All five of you?  Right.

Practically an ad for Mr. Clean Magic Erasers

I can't decide if Wayne Coyne's uber-modern house reminds me more of a stylized igloo or of the Mode Magazine office on "Ugly Betty":

Either way, I bet his housekeepers are working double time to keep all those surfaces white, especially if he's still biking around naked and covered in goo with these crazies (a very very NSFW link, by the way).  Hmmm.

Read more here.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: special skills

I am being a super duper multi-tasker tonight!  Not only am I writing this blog post, but I'm also watching Winter Olympics figure skating, trying to pick my next UCB class (holy shit my internship got extended!), and revising my Storytelling draft.

OK, actually, if I broke it down it's more like 75% writing this post, 15% picking a class, 8% watching figure skating (sequins!), and 2% revising (I don't even have the document open... I'm doing it in my head).

HEY!  You know who ELSE is a super multi-tasker?  Dreaface with her crazy spacephone!  (Nice transition huh?)  As much as I want to pretend I'm too cool to want an iPhone, I'm totally not.  Of course I want an iPhone.  I just know I can't handle it yet - monetarily or mentally.  I'm still excited about the fact that my current phone has a camera.  But if/when I do get one, I sure won't do this:

• 10/1/09 - 10:32am

 andrea: biking to the gym, i'll be back on when i get there

 molly: you're gonna gchat while you work out?? puh-lease

11 minutes

 andrea: HE'LL YES I am!

 I'm totally chatting and watching indomercials while I ellipticise

 molly: you're THAT girl

 what's an indomercial?

 andrea: Infomercial

  Which girl? Texty girl?

 molly: girl who uses her phone while ellipticising

  at least you're not talking on it though

 andrea: No, I would never

 molly: actually, i meant you're marlo thomas from that '70s tv show

  THAT GIIIIIIIRL

 andrea: Whatever man, I didn't get the iPhone so I could NOT text while I workout

molly: whateverzzz

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: BOOM

There isn't much to say about this here convo.  It is what is.  It speaks volumes.  It's touching the nation one child at a time.  The more you knoooooow.

(In other words, I'm rushing to finish my Storytelling assignment/go to a dance class/clean my room/finish watching the special features on my Pulp Fiction DVD and this is the first gem I came across.  Time's a wastin'.)

Do it:

• 8/8/09 - 11:27am 

andrea: haha, did you get my drunk text last night?

 molly: oh yeah!

  i meant to text you back

  i was going to say that i don't feel grown up enough

  you think deep thoughts when you're drunk

 andrea: i sure do

  i'm a deep, deep well

 a chasm

  a fjord

 molly: ooooh i love the word fjord!

 andrea: me too!

  going to breakfast,

  talk to you later

  boom!

 molly: mmm brekkie

  well i'll be here alllll day

  folks

That touchdown really moved me

I am a typical girl when it comes to the Superbowl.  I have no patience for the constant stopping and starting of the action and would rather just drink a lot of beer and eat nachos and wait for the kickass commercials.  (That's what girls do, right?)  Unless the Patriots are playing because in that case it's in my New England blood to represent.

If the Superbowl looked like any of these though, maybe I'd put down the tortilla chips and actually watch it:

(From Slate V)

Everything it seems I like is a little bit sweeter, a little bit fatter, a little bit harmful for me

I made an awesome mix while wide awake at 1am the other night and it's saving me this week.  My best playlists are made after midnight while sitting in bed, painstakingly moving songs around in iTunes so that all the intros and outros flow together perfectly.  This one was a mix of stuff I'm currently obsessed with and ended up having a crazy variety of tunes.  Highlights include Tears for Fears, Kid Cudi, Drunken Sufis, and Bjork - random, but awesome.

What I've been primarily obsessed with, however, is the "Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk" outro.  I never thought of myself as a huge Rufus Wainwright fan, but this song kept popping up on my Pandora stations and I liked it more and more each time I heard it.  I suppose I kinda stole the idea of using it as a mix closer from Andy (thanks dude!), but it works nicely.


Nice clogs, Rufus.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: good thing I'm not a nanny

I hate to be a cliche, but oh my god you guys, MONDAY. Christ-on-a-bicycle-Mary-Magdalene-Peter-Frampton MONDAY.  Maybe my alarm interrupted my delicate sleep cycle at the wrong moment or something today, but GOOD GOD, I've been wanting to break shit since I stepped out of the shower.  Crazy workplace drama isn't helping.

If I were Drea though, I'd be dealing with poopy pants drama instead of sassy pants drama (yes, it's a fine line).  We trade horror stories throughout the day of babies vs. staff meetings and seem to conclude that both options are equally dreary.  Luckily I'm getting better at handling theatre people, but babies?  Sheesh, I don't even know how to change a diaper.

• 8/5/09 - 9:58am

 andrea: so, get this, I put Sloane down like an hour ago, and she hasn't gone to sleep yet

  but she's screaming like a tantruming banshee

 molly: maybe you need to sing her a lovely song

 andrea: and I have things to do

  so... I could just go pick her up, and put her in the stroller and go do those things, since she's not going to sleep anyway

  but...

 now I'm angry at her, and I don't want to give her the satisfaction of me giving in and picking her up

  what is WRONG with me?

molly: nothing's wrong with you, the screaming banshee baby is facahked

  i would just put her in the stroller but i don't know anything about babies

would that mess up her sleep schedule

 andrea: but I'm so MAD at her

 molly: or actually make her smugly happy?

 andrea: grrrrr MAD

 molly: not sure

 andrea: i feel like it'll make her smugly happy

 plus its hot out

  and while I do have things to do, I don't necessarily want to go outside...

  decisions

  decisions of an immature nanny

 molly: eh, just let her scream and be a brat then

andrea: yeah, that's what I was thinking

  thanks for the support

 molly: anytime

So yeah.  Don't ever ask me to babysit until your kid is like, ten years old.