The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: Dear Bjork - please give me a job

Holy shit you guys: what a fucking MON-DAY.  I had a glorious weekend - sleeping, dancing, drinking, cooking, "True Blood"-ing (aaah, why I am so addicted?) - and then it all went downhill starting at roughly 10:01am this morning.  Payroll, banking, spreadsheets, photos, and emails got the better of me for a straight 10 hours or so - I didn't even have time to hide in the bathroom and bang my head against the wall.  Finally, I stumbled home, so psyched to put on my jammies and chill out with my pals Bravo and Sabra, and discovered my entire fucking wardrobe rack had broken in half and I had clothes all over my room.  Thanks a bunch, Monday!!!

I shouldn't be so over-dramatic.  I did find temporary extra space for my clothes in our hall closet and I am currently in my jammies eating hummus and watching mindless television despite all this.  It just doesn't give me much hope for the rest of this week.

All of this has nothing to do with mine and Drea's Bjork and "Biggest Loser" obsessions, but it does make for a nice contrast.

molly: i'm having such a bjork day

 andrea: that sounds colorful and awesome

 molly: it's mildly depressing, but still awesome

 i wish she was here serenading me in person

 andrea: don't we all

 molly: "bachelorette" is my jam lately

 andrea: that's a really good one

 molly: it's so dramatic

 andrea: you know what's dramatic? the biggest loser

  dear god the TEARS

 just put the donut down, lady. it's cool.

 molly: oh yeah, that too

  oh my god, they should have bjork as a GUEST JUDGE

 andrea: HAHAHA

 molly: then the world would explode

  can you imagine???

 it would be like when she was on spaceghost

 andrea: oh my god, that was AMAZING

 molly: they'd ask her questions and she's answer in nonsense words

  yeah, i want to watch that right NOW

 andrea: with her odd little accent

 molly: "large persons, you have to run with the horses and sunshine and love your pink hearts and no more eating cakes"

  "sneakers are shiny and laughter"

 andrea: oh my god.

  YES

molly: it's like engrish

 andrea: only better

Yeah, I do want to watch that right now:

I am also re-reading my high school yearbook...

In yet another perfect link between my inspired reflections on the media of my youth and Flavorwire, they've discovered what happened to all our favorite '90s grunge bands!

So crazy that I just (ok, like a month ago) posted about that creepy Toadies song I found on my old mixtape and Flavorwire was all "oh hey, the Toadies, what the crap happened to them?"  SAME BRAIN, Flavorwire!  Why don't you just hire me already, people?  (Please??)  I'm weeks ahead of you on this re-living-1996 game.

By the way, here's the actual 7th Grade Mix Tape (evidence of the lame beginnings of my obsession with collage):

Precious.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: powhiskey?

 
I just wrapped up yet another weekend of living far beyond my means.  It was totally worth it, as most extravagant weekends are, but I'm hurting.  I could use a po' man's anything right now (but not extra pores, thanks).

andrea: there are no jobs for me

  i'm going to resort to killing myself

 molly: no no, don't do that!

  who will cut my bangs for me?

  and offer fashion advice via ichat??

andrea: oh dear

  good popint

 popint!

molly: is that like the po' man's pint?

  "i'll have a popint of bud"

 andrea: yes!

  that's what I need...

 molly: me too

  but not bud

andrea: more like a poredstripe

 molly: HAAA

  sounds like "with pores"

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: an ode to burritos

Tonight I ate Mexican food without Andrea.  It just wasn't the same.  I couldn't choose only one conversation to drive this point home, so here are five samplins':

 molly: i think we share some brains

  BRAINS

  BRAAAIIINNZZZZZ

 god i need to get out of work

 andrea: i need a burrito  andrea: I didn't get a picture of the three legged pug :(

 molly: boooh

 andrea: but, I did just eat the greatest burrito of my young life

  molly: http://www.thanksants.com/

 yes!!

andrea: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 molly: "thanks molly.... tholly"

 andrea: thanks burrito...

  thurrito

 andrea: you're nuts

  i want a burrito  andrea: no, thank god, because I'm lying on the carpet watching tv on the internet and trying not to run out to get the burrito

  ha ha "the" burrito

 molly: oh i know

  THE burrito

  THAT burrito

 andrea: THE BURRITO

 THE ONLY BURRITO

  every burrito...

  andrea: oh yeah!

 i knew i knew her from somewhere

  i want a burrito

  always

I just decided "burrito" is one of those words that look ridiculous after cutting-and-pasting it multiple times.  Also, I think I just set myself up for a peanut-butter-obsessed-Molly post.

TGI (almost) F!

In a perfect belated follow-up to my "Boy Meets World" post of yore, the perpetual work distraction Flavorwire has done all the hard work of figuring out what happened to all of our favorite TGIF stars (why don't I have this job??).  Check it out.

FYI: I totally used to have one of those denim flower "Sister, Sister" hats.  I got it for my tenth birthday and often rocked it with a silky paisley vest over a white t-shirt and more denim.  YEAH 1993.

More bloggins!

Surprise!  Another blog!  Andrea and I are co-producing a new photo project called This Is How We Live.

We were fed up with all of the "lifestyle" blogs out there that show young people living highly designed and distressingly coordinated lives.  I mean, sure: there are a lucky bunch of twenty-somethings out there who are making a good living and have a knack for furnishing themselves and their homes stylishly.  But what about the rest of us barely scratching out a living?  We want to peek into their lives.

The blog is in the infant stages of design so don't judge us too harshly, but we'd love to hear your thoughts on the content.  And we probably want to photograph your bathroom.  Check it out.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: MC Drea in da howwwse

Did I mention that Andrea is my personal rapper detective?  She is.  Just drop a beat and drop a dime, ya'll (did I just date myself with that reference?).

andrea: i luuuurve that the dooce just twatted that she saw john krasinski and her legs went all wobbly

 molly: hahaaa

what is she in LA for?

  i didn't figure it out

  so you need to

 andrea: HGTV stuff?

  that's my detective work

  solvin crimes, doin times

  makin rhymes

 molly: ah

  makes sense

 andrea: juicin limes

 molly: you're a rapper detective!

and smoothie maker!

  oh man, that's a tv show waiting to happen

  and you're composing the theme song

  right.

  now.

 andrea: except that i'm out of rhymes

  dammit 

That was only momentary, I'm sure.  She serves up those crazy rhymes all the time every day.  Unfortunately she has some competition from the scatting jazzman tennis ball:

JAZZZZZ!

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: CRAP I almost forgot

 
Yeah, I suck at this lately.  I don't know why we ever decided Mondays were perfect for this.  Or why I'm still doing it when Andrea quit long ago.  Anyway:

andrea: whatever happened to that schwartzman/galafinakis detective show?

 molly: i know the first season ended, but i haven't heard anything about a new season

  i hope it's coming back

 andrea: i only saw one episode

  i rule

  i do not rule, at job hunting however

  or being productive

 i do rule at reading blogs

  and drinking dranks

  and rambling

  evidently

 molly: DRANKS

  it's the spirit of friday

 andrea: hee hee!

  drinking sounds so much better of you growl the word "dranks" semi loudly when referring to it

 like, "yeah, I'm drinkin some DRANKS at 3 in the afternoon...WHAT OF IT?"

 molly: HAHAAA!

  that's it, that's the only way i'm ever referring to drinking

  even if it's a fancy wine tasting

 "why yes, this DRANK does have hints of cinnamon"

 andrea: that's right, you GET ON the drank train

  its fun on here

  every car is the bar car

 molly: oh, dreams

PS: Drea Drea and I drank a lot of dranks this weekend.  We also learned that we both need flasks in order to always have dranks on hand in case we are ever again stuck at the lamest wedding ever.  More whining to come... plus photos?  Let's see how motivated I get.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: wind + booze + emoticons = love

I guess this makes more sense when you see it in a gchat window where the symbols transform into actual funny things, but use your imagination.  Here's a key:

:D = insane laughter
~@~ = pile of poop
V.v.V = scuttling crab
and of course, <3 = heart, DUH

Pepper those into your next heart-to-heart gchat convo (or shall I say, <3 2 <3?).

andrea:

  THE WIND JUST SHOOK MY HOUSE

  the

  wind

  just

  shook

  my

  house

WTF?!

  where am I living, a goddamn shanty town?!!!!!!

 molly: oh dear

  tape those windows down

  :D ~@~

  laugin' out poop

 *laughin

  LAUGHING

  goddam, i killed it, not funny anymore

  ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~ ~@~

  that's better

 andrea: shut up

 its totally funny

  ~@~

  HA

 andrea: seriously, I feel unsafe here

  the top floor is just gonna straight up blow off

molly: eek

  just don't get too close to the windows

 andrea: DEATH

  you can have my records, and my record player

  and my booze

if I don't drink it from the beer

  huh?

  if i don't drink it from the fear. FEAR

molly: oh god, don't be talkin' wills!

  (but of course i'm taking your records and record player)

andrea: craaaaaaap

  i'm about to get sucked to wonderland, or whatever

  not wonderland...where did dorothy go?

  OZ

 molly: oh my god woman, how much booze have you had?

 andrea: not a lot

  i think its the chocolate and the fear

  the feeeeeaaar

i drank a big beer

  and i'm about to bust into some cava

 molly: that's gonna be an amazing burp

 andrea: because i'm not going out into that goddamn rain until my boyfriend has music out of his system and is ready to snuggle

  (this conversation is going to wind up on the internet isn't it?)

 "The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: Sassoon loses her damn mind."

 molly: no I'M sassoon! YOU'RE widget!

 andrea: you're widget

 molly: waaaaaaah :'(

 andrea: don't make me sic that crab on you

 V.v.V

 molly: this is totally ending up on the internet

 andrea: V.v.V V.v.V V.v.V V.v.V

  crab army

molly: <3 ~@~ <3 ~@~

  i see your crab army and raise you love poop

 andrea: you bitch

Oh, and you called it Drea - here it is, totally ending up on the internet.  ShaBAM.  And I'M SASSOON, weirdo.

The all the all of you

I went home to NH a couple weeks ago and impulsively grabbed a few things to bring back to NYC with me.  Specifically, old journals and mix tapes.  I suppose this was partially fueled by the new storytelling / personal writing kick I've been on lately - I'm constantly trying to dig into my past for a good story - but it was also for purely nostalgic reasons, especially with the tapes.  Allison left me her ghetto-blaster boombox before she went to London so I knew I could finally revisit the gems that I taped off the radio somewhere around 1995-1997.

I've been listening to these since then and oh. my. god.  Not only are they so full of adolescent angst (these covered ages 12-14), but parts of them are still pretty fucking awesome, if I do say so myself.  The fact that I taped the majority off the radio lends them an extra-special charm.

Side B of what I like to call "The 7th Grade tape" has a particularly stellar buildup of tracks, which I would like to recreate for you here, in video form.  You may want to put on a flannel and/or some Delias jewelry:

No Doubt - Just A Girl


Bush - Glycerine (holy crap, by putting those two songs next to one another it's like my 12-year-old mind was predicting the future marriage of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale!  Whoaaaa.)


Toadies - Possum Kingdom (I forgot how creepy and messed up this song and video are)


Green Day - Brain Stew


and the best one ever.....
Spacehog - In The Meantime


I say "best one ever" because it was and always will be the best song on that mix.  It was my most favorite song for probably all of junior high and I played that section of the tape so much that I'm surprised it still works.  It's hilarious to me now that I loved this song so intensely even though the lyrics make absolutely no sense and I couldn't understand half of them anyway.  Early evidence of how I still always favor composition over lyrics, I guess.

As a bonus, I had an epic night of reading through my old journals yesterday and found this as further evidence:

The best song in the world is "In The Meantime" by Spacehog.  I think it has most influenced me to have a band.  I think about our band* and remember seeing them on Jay Leno at Cecelia's house whenever I hear it.

*What I meant by "our band" is the "band" that consisted of me and two of my best friends at the time, Cecelia and Sarah.  Collectively we knew about five chords on the acoustic guitar and I would attempt to "drum" with pencils on textbooks.  We spent most of our time thinking up cool band names (contenders being Hybrid Monkeys and Electric Toastmen... um... we weren't men).  I wish I could find a clip of that Leno performance somewhere online... I wonder if it would still shatter my world.

It's funny how not much has changed, though.  Well, Cecelia is married and has a baby and I'm pretty sure Sarah is a budding lawyer, but I'm still soundtracking my life with dramatic music and air drumming.

And I still I love the all the all of you.

HAPPY SATURDAY

Live from New York, it's... Wednesday!

It is so weird to not be at UCB right now.  My internship ended last Wednesday and now I don't know what to do with myself.  I've been an intern since last JULY, you guys!  I was lucky to be stationed at the Training Center through December, but still got to put in a solid five months of yelling at crowds and picking up beer bottles at the theater.  But I'm a little sad that I'm not holding the Bucket of Truth and watching the last bits of School Night right now.  :( :( :(

But who are we kidding - I AM super glad that I'm sitting here eating pudding and wearing my velour pants right now and not about to drag a wine-soaked trash bag through the wet Gristede's basement.

I feel like I should say something more profound, but I'll just leave you with this:

Ahhh, if only he really was.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: rambling associations

I just got home from a pretty rough set at the Creek.  Well, to be fair, I had two sets: the first was group improvised storytelling and awesome, the second was group improvised... improv... and... well, we've had better days.  I love my fellow Goats, but the only word I could use to describe our set with was "yoinks."  Like: goofy, but weird, but... ouch.  You get me?  It's OK though - I'm confident we can turn it around because we all love karaoke and we have high-five parties like no one's business.

So on the train home I was remembering that I had to do Weekly Widget and Sassoon and immediately made big plans: get in the door, change into the really-old-but-comfy sweatshorts, reheat an amalgam mixture of leftovers, and talk about this:

That's right, a bag.  But not just any bag - the bag of all bags.  I think our bud Rebecca originally bought this 10 or so years ago from the Gap and it got passed around amongst the three of us like a cheap bottle of champange (quickly and frequently).  I specifically remember Andrea giving it to me en route to the bathroom at VPB many a time so I could steal toilet paper for her.  And then it got passed down to me.  (Or... I stole it and never gave it back... something like that.)

This bag was not only amazing for it's history, but it's valuable features:
 1) Size - huge enough to fit not just my laptop, but also a book and a magazine and a sandwich and a change of shoes and maybe some seltzer too.
2) Zipper top - especially important when you got stuck in the rain.
3) KEY HOLDER!  It had this little tab that you snapped your keys into so you didn't have to fish around for them when you were drunkenly trying to get into your apartment at 3am and had to pee so bad that every second was crucial!

Well friends - I had to lay that poor bag to rest.  After years of dedication, one of the straps finally busted beyond repair and I had to throw it out.  But not before documenting it, of course.  Oh Gap bag, we hardly knew ye.

So then I remembered, oh hey, you know what this series is actually about?  Inane chatter that Drea and I do on the internets.  And I dug up this gem:

andrea:

brb, shower

 molly: yeah, stinkface

 andrea: shut it

  i'm mclean

  CLEAN

molly: McClean?

  Lady McCleanface?

  a mcdonald's sandwich made of soap?

andrea: yeah that's right

 molly: ick

andrea: no, i'm delicious

  like roses

  DELICIOUS ROSES

And then I thought of this:



And now I'm full of pasta and vegetables and chocolate chips and I'm exhausted.  Goodnight!  You've been a great crowd.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: gettin' old

That's right, I'm OLD.  At least, I sure felt old after unfolding myself from a four-hour bus ride from Boston to New York City this afternoon and hobbling into work.  My gimpy side was acting up and even though I limped around the office and kept yawning with exhaustion, they still made me open envelopes and take notes in meetings and stuff!  SHEESH.

But then I got home and went for a run, went grocery shopping, made dinner, and made a double batch of cookies.  And after I publish this here post I still have plans to wash dishes, paint my nails and watch awesome things on Hulu.  So I guess I'm not old, I just have work-induced laziness.  And insomnia.  Getting there...

molly: there is some kind of giant backyard party going on next door

  which would be ok, if it weren't TUESDAY

who does that on a tuesday?

  am i getting old?

 andrea: who does that on the tuesday after fucking memorial day weekend?

 molly: i guess it will be more annoying if it's still happening in 5 hours

  yeah, really

 andrea: seriously, haven't you partied enough?

 molly: right now it's mostly just annoying because i don't want to shut my windows and we're competing for music

andrea: that sucks

  people suck

  i mean, its not that late, but its tuesday, like for realsies

molly: right?

  if it is still happening in a few hours, i'm going to yell that out my window

 andrea: yes!

  i love that

 molly: "people, it's tuesday, like for realsies!"

 andrea: there were some cats having sex outside my window like a half an hour ago i think...

 molly: but i'll put curlers in my hair and put on a housecoat first

 andrea: i should've yelled at them

  yes!

 molly: yesssss ewwww that happens a lot here too

 andrea: and a green face mask

  I actually muted the tv and went over to the window all "what the crap?"

molly: yeah cause it sounds like babies dying

 andrea: i don't even know what to liken it to..

  it was upsetting

PS: If anyone can find me a link to the clip of Maya Rudolph's re-appearance as Whitney Houston on SNL this past Saturday, I will love you forever and buy you a drink or... something.  It is crucial to Andrea and mine's growing collection of videos to loudly re-enact on the subway.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: in which we attempt to motivate ourselves and show early signs of bad parenting skills

The thought of ever maybe possibly being a parent is TERRIFYING to me.  What if you forget them at the grocery store?  What if they're boring?  What if you break them??  Man, I ask those questions about myself.

molly: grug

i'm working saturdays for the next two weeks

  at least my overtime pay starts tomorrow

 andrea: oh man, that sucks

  but overtime pay doesn't suck

  i don't work on daturday

but i'm broke broke broke

  ha! daturday

 molly: it could be dadurday - a dad's lame attempt at weekend bonding

  "c'mon kids, get up, we're all going for pancakes and a baseball game because it's DADURDAY!"

andrea: hahaha! that sounds MISERABLE

 molly: "and then you're going to shut up and get me beers while i watch the news"

andrea: oh man, i want a beer

  and dinner

i was going to go to the gym after work, but i'm so hungry, i don't think i'll make it through

molly: eat a snack before you go

andrea: blaaaargh

 molly: you'll feel so much better after, i bet!

 andrea: what if i drink a beer instead, and just go tomorrow?

  i bet i will too, but i'm so laaaazy

  i haven't gone all week

  i'm the worst

also, i fucking hate two year olds

molly: me too

  they're so self-involved

  it's like "me! me! me!" all the time

 andrea: you should see him, sitting here staring at me

 molly: jesus, kid, just learn how to cook your own omelet already

 andrea: can you think of nothing else to do but stare at me, baby?!

HAHAHAHA

  aren't babies supposed to play?!

he has toys for days, but he just stares at me!

  or tries to hang all over me!

if I stand up, he'll stand up, but otherwise, he just lies on the ground like a despondent little midget

WOOPSH!

Stop whatever you're doing, have yourself a sit-down, and watch this amazing video:



I don't even know where to begin my praises...
Kid Cudi AND Snoop!
Big cardboard car!
Cudi eats his cereal out of a mixing bowl!
Hilarious bouncy dance moves!
The words "BIDNESS" and "WOOPSH" are involved!

This was the perfect start to my Sunday morning.

The only sad part: isn't Snoop looking OLD?

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: ba dum ching!

It's Monday!  Time for me to be sick again!

Really though: get with it, body!  My first day back at work after a leisurely week off and that's when you decide to smack me with yet another cold?  Why do I get sick all the time?  Oh my god, do I have lupus??  Shit.  I suppose it's actually just proof of just how opposed my body is to being back at the job.

Now that I'm sitting in bed eating spicy soup out of a giant mug though, I'm feeling marginally better.  If I had a little bit more energy I would dance to this (or at least come up with another snappy pun):

andrea: It's only 4:00

 Where's the justice?

 molly: right here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49esza4eiK4

  womp womp 

Oh it's such a perfect day... I'm glad I spent it with me...

Not to rub it in your face, worker bees, but I am on VACATION this week and I FUCKING LOVE IT.  Today, in particular, was all loveliness and sunshine.  I'm tempted to never show up to work again and see how long it takes them to stop paying me.  (That would probably take about three days, actually, since I usually run the payroll.)

I got up sorta early (9am) considering I worked my intern shift the night before, but I thought I'd be meeting a potential subletter.  Turns out I had my days mixed up - whoops - so I instead used the time to send out four job resumes and speed through some of my email.  Yay productivity!

I had to go into Manhattan for an appointment and with all the sun and the green and the flowering things I couldn't possibly go right back on the train. So I wandered myself into Barnes and Noble to peruse things I shouldn't buy.  Good call, because I found this on the bargain shelf for $5.95:

YESSS!  This has been on my to-buy list forever, but I was always too cheap to shell out the whole entire list price fee of $28 (times is tough, yo).  Now that I have it my hot little hands all I want to do is become a professional wackadoo party host.  Why isn't that job on Craigslist??

After more wandering in the beautiful sunshine, I came home and made myself a real lunch!  With fresh fruits and vegetables!  Which I didn't have to eat at a sad desk!  Amazing.

Then I dashed to dance class and HOLY CRAP.  Not only did we dance to Janet, but it was the teacher's assistant's birthday so they brought her a cake and we all got giant slices of Magnolia red velvet cake after class!  For real!!

 
And it had normal vanilla frosting and not cream cheese frosting which is what always ruins a good red velvet and ohmygod CAKE!!!  It felt wrong to sit and eat cake after sweating for 90 minutes but still... mindblowing.

Now I'm winding down with tequila and L.A. Ink (these people are fascinating) and I have big plans to watch the end of Ugly Betty Season 4 and paint my nails with this fancy nail art pen.

PLANS, y'all!!

Just so you know I'm not entirely roses and unicorns, I did pull a neck muscle in dance class and I don't know how I'll ever turn my head to the left ever again.  But still!  Who needs turn their head when there's Amy Sedaris and tequila!

I almost don't want to go to sleep tonight for fear that karma will fuck me over and tomorrow will suck.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: another reason we need our own film crew

It's true: Drea and I spend a lot of time bitching about our jobs, but at least our analogies are different every time.  I think I could someday string all our job rant analogies together and it would be a perfect sitcom.  Or at least a B-movie screenplay.

molly: btw, i'm curating more widget and sassoon laughables from our old chats and it's totally saving me right now

 andrea: Oh man! I should be doing that!

 Instead, I'm listening to a baby WHINE AND CRY FOREVER FOR NO REASON while I talk to you

 You think you have problems kid? Oh I'm sorry, is it too dark in here, is your mac and cheese not to your liking? Shall I wipe your ass again?

 molly: HA

  did you forget the sprig of parsley with that mac?

  maybe that's it

  or maybe you should heat those baby wipes with your breath

 andrea: Maybe I should run screaming into the rain and twirl in circles at my glorious, glorious freedom

 molly: yeah! and hire a steadicam to follow you!

 andrea: Hee hee!

 andrea: GARBAGE

 the world is garbage.

  Siiiiiiiiigh

 molly: it sure is

  except for the parts with dancing

  those are golden

Aaaaand scene.

REALLY??

I saw a big truck advertising this on my way into work yesterday and almost did a vaudeville-style spit take of my coffee:

Really, universe?  Why the crap do we need an Ed Hardy energy drink?  Hasn't Ed Hardy spoiled enough clothing and merchandise across America already?

Perhaps more importantly: what kind of energy requires the specific Ed Hardy brand?  The energy to squeeze out the last of your hair gel to perfectly spike up those frosted tips?  Or maybe the energy to make it through the final coloration of your vaguely Asian tramp stamp?  Good god.

I bet this stuff tastes like Mountain Dew mixed with Axe body spray.

The Weekly Widget and Sassoon: back in the day

I've done it: I've gotten so lazy that I missed my self-imposed Monday midnight Widget and Sassoon deadline and you know what? I DON'T CARE.  I'm trying out this new thing called Not Being Hard On Myself.  Crazy, right?  I hear many people do it every day and actually lead lives without endless to-do lists and, shucks, what a novel idea! 

But enough about my crazy brain.  This is about my AND Andrea's crazy brain.

This April 1st marked three years of me living in New York City.  Whooooaaaaaawoowww.  I've been reminiscing about those good ol' early days lately, remembering all the super cool fun Drea and I had in the giant single apartment I was subletting in Washington Heights.

Except for that shithead cat.  About 24 hours after that photo was taken, I learned he was a fun-ruiner.

So in the spirit of nostalgia, I dug up one of the very first gchats we ever had (ever!), from that grand spring of '07.  [Note: I have no idea what "Gaslight" was.  Probably some lameo show/movie that I knew I was better off not seeing.  HA.  Clearly our online love/hate relationship was already in full bloom.]

andrea: you're druuuuunk

 molly: not anymore

  but kinda dizzy, for some reason

  i think i'm dying

  my brain is dying

 andrea: i want to do things on brightly colored pieces of paper

 molly: me too!

  a little...

i'm in one of those moods where i'm wide awake and have the urge to do ... something

  but i have no idea what

  it should probably be sleep

 hey i completely changed my mind about thurs night

  i don't really want to see "gaslight" any more bc i have too much shit to do

  i need to start packing too

 andrea: blah blah blah

  you just want to blow me off

  and NOT do things on brightly colored pieces of paper!

 molly: you're so right

  i'm actually making a voodoo doll of you

 andrea: i hate you

 molly: that's my crafty craftiness

 andrea: bah.

 molly: g'night buttface

 andrea: bah.

And with that memento, G'NIGHT BUTTFACES!

Tell by my belt buckle that I most definitely from...

The first 17 years of my life are perhaps best summarized by this amazing video:


This also serves as a good argument for why I no longer live there.

I would, however, love to stumble across a big guy in the woods playing a tiny piano.

The Weekly Widget and Sasson: not so much hilarious, very much true

Full disclosure: I am overwhelmed and overtired and being a brat today so I'm not even going to attempt to write as much as I wanted to.  Good news: Drea Drea spent the weekend with me and we did amazing things like drink pickle martinis and make big arty plans and try on crazy clothes.  Bad news: I can't write about it today because I'm too busy holding my eyes open.  Bleh.  Luckily I can always rely on this:

molly: can we drink whiskey tomorrow please?

 andrea: Um, yes!

Good luck with your Mondays, friends!